My Happily Ever After
by Rachel Bloomquist - YW Camp Faith Walk presentation - 2020
The Pack on Our Back
Once upon a time, on a late summer night, when I was the turbulent age of fifteen, my father asked me to take a walk with him on our 80-acre farm. It was country dark, and I was already dressed for bed so I resisted but he persisted. I don’t remember the particular circumstances prior to this experience. I never intended to be a concern to my parents but the confusion of adolescence can warp wisdom and reality, and there were times when I felt more confident in my own naive opinions than in my parents experienced insights. Maybe, one of these attitudes preempted my father's invitation that evening but I'm confident the Spirit guided him as he led me down that long, dark road, without even the smallest flashlight to illuminate the way. We walked in thunderous silence, him waiting for the right moment, me waiting for him. Finally, in the back acreage he stopped and reminded me how often he had walked these fields and how well he knew the lay of the land. He talked to me about the wild animals that liked to roam at night, the badgers, coyotes, skunks, and raccoons that he tried to avoid and used his shovel to warn or repel. Then, he asked me to walk on alone, no longer on the well-worn road, but through a black field full of ominous shadows.
I could hear the water running in the ditches, and I was afraid—of the dark, the danger, the unknown. My father knew I would be. He knew I would not go, but he prodded until I clung to him and cried. He asked if I would feel safe if he went with me and led the way. I said I would. I trusted him—he had always kept me safe before. Now having my full attention, he talked to me of other darkness, other dangers, far more black and perilous. And this time I listened and understood.
I never did walk those fields alone that night; my father had never intended that I should. He finally took my hand and guided me home on the same dirt road, now lighted by an inner lamp. That life lesson and adherence to it has kept me spiritually safe these many years but not all those I love have chosen the same protective path. Some have been curious about the dark fields or thought themselves brave and adventurous for wanting to be night explorers. They have misunderstood the spiritual terrain, thinking that like my summer walk in a farmer’s field the worst that could happen by wandering off alone without a light to guide them would be equivalent to falling in a ditch, being sprayed by a skunk, or bitten by a badger but that is not the case. Oh no! These are spiritual battle fields and this is war!
As a young woman I had many dreams (like you) that I was sure would bring me happiness. They included handsome young men, money, travel, glamorous talents, red wood barns and white picket fences but highest of them all was the anticipation and expectations of motherhood. I imagined that if I worked hard enough, followed the prophets, lived what I believed, and loved unselfishly that success on my terms was guaranteed. My mantra seemed consuming but simple: love them, lead them, serve them, teach them, and for many years it seemed to be working just as planned.
But there is a difficult side to the beautiful gift of agency; everyone gets to choose for themselves and not all choose wisely. Watching loved ones wander, with seeming confidence, into enemy territory has been heart-wrenching for me and in the beginning, I became frantic and disconsolate. For a long time I forgot that happiness was an individual choice, a personal way of being, and I allowed mine to exist only at the mercy of others.
It has been 35 years since that inspiring faith walk with my father. My life at 50 has not turned out how I imagined it would at 15. However, over the past decade I have learned some significant truths about Happily Ever Afters. Though I still have bad days when I struggle with feelings of frailty, failure and fear I absolutely know that God wants us to have a fullness of joy. But, joy doesn’t magically appear, even if we are going about doing good, and experiencing its fullness takes daily, personal effort.
I know God expects us to do the best we can, the VERY BEST but imperfection is an inescapable part of the plan. We will fall and fail, all mortals do, but that is how we stretch and grow. It is the numerous times that we rise back up that build our spiritual muscles and stamina. We must not allow ourselves to become discouraged by our own weaknesses or the humanness of others but continue to press forward and progress.
I know God wants us to work at learning to love perfectly because love is really the only lasting, positive influence we have on each other.
I have come to understand that our Heavenly Father wants our whole heart, not just pieces and parts, but only Christ can make it whole and only when we bring it to him broken.. He wants us to rely, with every breath, on the Atonement of our Savior, and “lean not unto [our] own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
He wants us to understand that there is only one path and one plan, and neither can be of our own making.
He wants us to come unto Him, not collectively, but individually.
He wants us to shun sin but serve sinners (which we all are.)
He wants us to minister but not manage and most importantly, he wants us to keep trying, and never give up! He will never let go of our hands or leave us in the dark. He understands my grieving mother-heart and your insecure daughter-hearts perfectly. We are not alone!
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland has reminded us that “This is the Church of the happy endings. Troubles need never be permanent nor fatal. Darkness always yields to light. The sun always rises. Faith, hope, and charity will always triumph in the end. Furthermore, they will triumph all along the way (Jeffrey R. Holland, Banishing All Shadows, BYU Speeches, April 26, 2018.)”
I have learned that God’s plan is sometimes more gradual than we want, often more painful than we wish, yet if we continue to trust in Him patiently, then “go and do” what He asks of us, it will turn out more glorious than we can imagine. And we will indeed live “happily ever after.”
The Pack on Our Back
by Rachel Bloomquist
(Sacrament meeting talk on the Atonement of Jesus Christ - June 30, 2019)
(Sacrament meeting talk on the Atonement of Jesus Christ - June 30, 2019)
There is one thing, above all others of importance, that Elder Tad R. Callister describes as giving “hope and purpose to our lives.” In his April 2019 Conference talk, he articulates it with the following scenario and subsequent analogy.
“Suppose for a moment a man contemplating an exhilarating free fall makes a rash decision and spontaneously jumps from a small plane. After doing so, he quickly realizes the foolishness of his actions. He wants to land safely, but there is an obstacle—the law of gravity. He moves his arms with astounding speed, hoping to fly, but to no avail. He positions his body to float or glide to slow the descent, but the law of gravity is unrelenting and unmerciful. He tries to reason with this basic law of nature: “It was a mistake. I will never do it again.” But his pleas fall on deaf ears. The law of gravity knows no compassion; it makes no exceptions. Fortuitously, though, the man suddenly feels something on his back. His friend in the plane, sensing the moment of foolishness, had placed a parachute there just before the jump. He finds the ripcord and pulls it. Relieved, he floats safely to the ground. We might ask, “Was the law of gravity violated, or did that parachute work within that law to provide a safe landing?”Elder Callister makes the comparison that
“when we sin, we are like the foolish man who jumped from the plane. No matter what we do on our own, only a crash-landing awaits us. We are subject to the law of justice, which, like the law of gravity, is exacting and unforgiving. We can be saved only because the Savior, through His Atonement, mercifully provides us with a spiritual parachute of sorts. If we have faith in Jesus Christ and repent (meaning we do our part and pull the ripcord), then the protective powers of the Savior are unleashed on our behalf and we can land spiritually unharmed” (Tad R. Callister, April 2019 Conf., The Atonement of Jesus Christ.)Last week as I was driving around town I spotted the same bumper sticker twice, on two different days, on two different vehicles. It read, “Jesus is Enough.” Among the many denominations of Christianity, there are varying degrees of understanding of the separation or combination of faith and works, so I have no way of knowing the full intended meaning of this particular phrase, for these particular drivers, but it started me thinking about what it meant to me. “Jesus is enough.” Enough for what? Enough for who? While we ponder those questions, let’s inspect the airplane more closely.
Elder Callister only mentions two people in his symbolism. We know that one of them is a true friend...Christ, and the other is an unnamed but foolish man who impulsively jumps from the plane, maybe because he feels he’s being restricted in the cabin or anticipates an entertaining free fall (which, by the way, on a flight designed for that kind of adrenaline rush averages only between 60-75 seconds.) However, this is no such plane, and this isn’t that kind of jump but the man doesn’t stop to think about those details or consider the consequences. He is living for the moment and makes a conscientious decision to jump out of the plane for the purpose of perceived freedom or pleasure.
Who is this person? Does he seem familiar? Elder Callister likens each of us in our sins to this particular foolish man, but I’m pretty confident that there are also other passengers on this flight with different demeanors who are exiting in various ways. I’ve pondered this probability because the idea of spontaneous exhilaration doesn’t resonate with everyone. It certainly doesn’t resonate with me. My children can tell you that neither spontaneous nor exhilaration are words comfortable, for even two seconds, in my vocabulary. However, all of us in this room, and in fact on this earth, who have reached the age or stage of accountability, are at this moment...out of that plane.
Maybe we didn’t mimic the spontaneous jumper, in fact, did not intend to jump initially but some of the jumpers who went before us made it look exciting...safe even, so we gave into peer pressure not wanting to be left behind. Or possibly, looking out the window on this extended flight, we started to imagine ourselves feeling cramped and needing “fresh air” so we jumped out simply to stretch our arms and legs. Still not relating as a jumper? Maybe that’s because we’re not all jumpers.
Some of us might be more prone to clumsiness or distraction instead. Maybe we didn’t pay close attention when the flight attendants were giving instructions so we didn’t understand that there were trap doors on this plane or where they were located. Maybe we did listen, and we did see the doors but we tripped or were closely curious and fell through anyway. I imagine that there are even some dogged souls who, when other passengers used their agency like a hydraulic jack to open the door in the pressurized cabin, tried to cling to the plane with all of their might. But, as people all around them were being sucked from the inside, eventually their strength waned, their arms became weak and weary and they couldn’t hold on any longer. They might have only meant to let go for a second to readjust their grip, yet the open door and decompression of the airplane became too much of a pull. There might even be some of us who haven’t yet come to terms with our agency or accountability and feel like we were pushed out of the plane. But in one way or another, we have all succumbed to a spiritual fall.
In his book, The Infinite Atonement, Elder Callister suggests that “Wickedness alone seldom, if ever, has been the cause of man’s destruction; the greater tragedy is wickedness coupled with an unwillingness to repent.” He goes on to say that “the impetus to reverse...course” means that “ the embers of repentance still glows” (Tad. R. Callister, The Infinite Atonement, pg. 182.)
So, in the eternal view of things, how we got out of the plane isn’t where our focus should be because we are told in the Doctrine and Covenants 1:31, that “the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance...” So, since we’ve all sinned, we are all awaiting a fatal crash landing, no matter how we extricated ourselves unless we can answer our bumper sticker question in the affirmative. Is Jesus enough? Is He enough to save us from ourselves? Did He anticipate and experience not only the jumps but the clumsy falls, the pressurizing pulls, and the weakened muscles as well? Did he personally toil with literal blood, sweat, and tears to make enough packs to place on each of our backs?
Elder Callister reminds us that the Atonement “was motivated by an incomprehensible love for each of us. It required a being who was sinless; who had infinite power over the elements—even death; who possessed a boundless capacity to suffer the consequences of all our sins and ailments; and who, in fact, descended beneath it all.” He testified that the Savior’s Atonement is not only infinite in scope but also individual in reach—that it can not only return us to God’s presence but also enable us to become like Him” that in fact, that is its "crowning goal…” So, yes! Jesus is enough.
But what about the ripcord? How do we utilize our handmade, customized, personally packed parachute so we can land in spiritual safety? How can Christ’s being enough, enable us to be enough too? Christ has provided us with everything we need but that includes our agency. We all have divinely gifted packs but we have to choose to deploy them and keep them inflated. We have to learn how to seek divine help to navigate our descent and point others to the same source so they can learn to navigate theirs. And of course, we need to learn how to land. How do we learn to do all of that? We can’t...at least not alone. President Henry B. Eyring teaches, “If you have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost … , you may take it as evidence that the Atonement is working in your life.”
My missionary son, Abrahm, sent me this quote when he heard that I was preparing for a talk on the Atonement. It’s from Elder M. Russell Ballard who said, "Are you struggling with some sin or weakness? It can be something as simple as not having the willpower to rise in the morning early enough to have time for scripture study and prayer. It can be something so powerful, such as Internet pornography or lack of moral self-control, that you feel you have been pulled down into an abyss and there is no hope for you. Do you find yourself hating what you are doing but not able to find the willpower to turn away from it? Then reach out and humble yourself. The Lord’s enabling power is sufficient to change your heart, to turn your life, to purge your soul. But you must make the first move, which is to humble yourself and realize that only in God can you find deliverance." (2004 July Ensign, Be Strong in the Lord.)
Elder Callister reminded us that faith and repentance are the ripcords, but without humility, we will never be submissive enough to accept the fact that we are completely helpless on our own and require the Lord’s help.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell profoundly stated that “...the submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we “give,”...are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual will be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give!
“Consecration thus constitutes the only unconditional surrender which is also a total victory!” (Neal A. Maxwell, Oct. Conf. 1995, Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father)
Turning our will over to the Father is the ultimate act of courage. Humility brings us to faith, which gives us the confidence and motivation to reach for the ripcord. Repentance opens the chute and continual obedience keeps it inflated. When our parachute is open, the Atonement provides us with the power to reach for perfection but it also endows us with the strength and fortitude to positively confront failure and continually rise back up again, and again...and again without giving in to defeat. The world and its promoters are trending away from reaching for perfection. They are encouraging us, with loud voices, to be content with being “good enough.” Don’t strain yourself, they suggest. After all, what’s the use in pushing ourselves to seek an unattainable goal, they ask? The Father of all Lies wants us to be content with adequacy because then we will be less inclined to recognize our absolute NEED for a Savior. We know we will not achieve perfection here but that should not alter our aim, for it is in the reaching that we stretch and grow.
The mortal journey to perfection isn’t about wishing that we had never jumped, fallen, or let go of the plane so that we didn’t need the parachute in the first place. Christ’s atonement wasn’t the backup plan just in case we messed up. It was THE plan for WHEN we messed up.
I called one of my brothers a couple weeks ago to see how he was navigating this fall that we are all in together and he shared some wise thoughts. He told me that he was finally starting to recognize that he can’t force the Atonement to work in his life, but has to allow it to work instead. When I asked for clarification he explained that he is prone to fixate on specific goals that he has made and what they should look like including the exact, intermediary steps that he anticipates should take him there, so when things don’t work out the way he envisions, it's tempting to feel that the atonement isn’t working in his life. However, when he remembers that God might have a different plan for him and he has the humility to get out of his own way and let the Lord guide him, sometimes without seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, only then does he find peace. He’s at a place in his life where he is needing to focus, just one day at a time, on becoming better today than he was yesterday. I know he’s not alone. He told me that if there are times when he gets to the end of the day and he’s not feeling good about himself, he goes back out and serves someone until he does and then he can call the day and his progress in it “enough.”
The gospel Plan of Salvation and Happiness pre-supposed our sin, sorrow, sadness, inadequacy, and pain which is why its center is the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which, remember...Elder Callister calls the “one thing, above all others, that “gives hope and purpose to our lives.” Failure is part of the process. Of course, that doesn’t mean that we should be seeking failure. Even when we are conscientiously pursuing truth and righteousness, failure will find us quite readily all on its own but In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Ether reminds us that “we’re supposed to acknowledge our weakness and be made strong through the grace of Jesus Christ (see Ether 12:27).
In an August 2015 New Era article it states that “Repenting of sin isn’t just about regaining lost innocence—it’s about being transformed into a “new creature”..., something we’ve never been before” (David A. Edwards, New Era, Aug 2015, The Gospel and Your Personality.)
The goal of our mortal probation is not to get back onto the same flight that we previously abandoned. The plane to Eternal Perfection and its perfect pilot will pick us back up at a different time and location when we’ve allowed the Atonement to change us into a different kind of passenger but he hasn’t left us alone. Not only has He fitted us with parachutes, but oxygen masks, radio headsets, and tandem instructors as well. Failure in the sky is how we learn that we alone are not enough. When the air gets thin and we can’t breathe we learn to avoid anoxia by turning on our spiritual oxygen. When we realize that flapping our arms and reasoning with gravity are not working, we learn to turn on our spiritual headsets and ask for instructions through constant prayer and frequent fasting. When we acknowledge that the exhilaration of the free fall is not worth the price of the impending death we learn humility and faith to pull the ripcord of repentance. When disobedience or discouragement deflates our spiritual parachute, we learn to more strictly obey and trust our packs. When we forget how to navigate, we remember that we are in tandem with prophets and we look to them to guide our course. Failure can be a powerful teacher if we do not seek it or surrender ourselves, so, (though it’s a personal struggle for me) failure should not be the thing we most fear. What we should be recoiling at is complacency, stagnation, ease, idleness, and apathy. Those are not teachers, but shackles for our souls.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf declares that “...living the gospel faithfully is not a burden. It is a joyful rehearsal—a preparation for inheriting the grand glory of the eternities. We seek to obey our Heavenly Father because our spirits will become more attuned to spiritual things. Vistas are opened that we never knew existed. Enlightenment and understanding come to us when we do the will of the Father.
“Grace is a gift of God, and our desire to be obedient to each of God’s commandments is the reaching out of our mortal hand to receive this sacred gift from our Heavenly Father” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, May 2015 Conference talk, The Gift of Grace.)
We must not become disillusioned into retracting our hand when life becomes difficult, and think we can maneuver this fall on our own. There are imposters among us, not made of flesh and bone, who will try and convince us that the rules are too restrictive or that this descent can be made on our own terms in an endless free fall. They will mock the parachute as a freedom inhibiting, unnecessary weight to carry, or if free-falling does not entice us, they will try to sell us an economy parachute of their own making, advertised as “a steal of a deal” on Amazon, Etsy or eBay. It may give us momentary confidence as we see if flapping in the wind over our heads, but its flimsy paper materials will not even slow our descent and will never have the power to save us.
Elder Callister warned, “One may search the world in vain, he may scour the journals of thought, he may toy with the philosophies of men, but eventually, he will learn that there is no hope, no lasting peace outside of Jesus Christ.”
President Joseph Fielding Smith testified that “… If we fully appreciated the many blessings which are ours through the redemption made for us, there is nothing that the Lord could ask of us that we would not anxiously and willingly do.
“...If we could see the Savior of men suffering in the garden and upon the cross and could fully realize all that it meant to us, we would desire to keep his commandments and we would love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our might, mind and strength, and...would serve him” (Teachings of Joseph Fielding Smith, ch. 6, pp 99-100.)
I do not fully comprehend the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I don’t understand exactly how it works. I do not have the capacity to wholly appreciate my Savior's love for me or His sacrifice on my behalf, so I can’t even begin to fathom the immensity of His love and sacrifice multiplied individually for all of mankind. What I do know is that I love Him. I trust Him. There is immense power in His selfless gift that enables me to keep moving forward with hope in my long-term, personal quest for perfection, even in my endless inadequacies and especially when the winds around me seem to reach tornado speeds. I have personally experienced the peace made possible in the eye of the storm. I know that without my eldest brother I am not enough, in fact, in the words of Mormon, I am a “needy, naked soul.” (See Mosiah 18:28) but with Him “all things are possible...if I have the humility and faith to reach up, and pull the ripcord. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Lead Me—Guide Me
by Rachel Bloomquist - essay for Pathway English class - 2018
One late summer night, when I was the turbulent age of fifteen, my father asked me to take an unusual walk with him on our 80-acre farm. It was country dark, and I was already dressed for bed. I don't recall anything about the day prior to his request, but that age was difficult for me, so it's not hard to imagine that some earlier attitude may have prompted it. I do remember resisting his invitation and him persisting, and still recall the wary look of nearby siblings, grateful that they had not been singled out for what we all knew was not going to be a sightseeing exploration. I did not realize then how eye-opening that experience would actually become.
My father was a farmer and physically tough. He worked dawn to dusk and often in-between at the manual labor that defined his occupation. His frame was small, yet he was the strongest man I knew, and as a child, it seemed to me there was nothing that he could not do. In public, he exuded a no-nonsense demeanor and was feared by some who did not know him well, but he was also emotionally tender and easy to love, and I revered him.
As a young girl, I spent hours by his side, riding on the wheel hub of his open cab tractor or sitting on an old kitchen chair watching him milk the Holstein cows. During irrigation season, my dad walked miles with his black rubber boots—a shovel resting over his shoulder—in fields that were his kingdom. In the light of day, he was often accompanied by a slew of barefoot children (whichever of my eight siblings, or I, saw him head toward "the back 40") running behind him on dirt roads that puffed soft dust clouds as we followed. While he started pipes or built dams with his strong hands, we would explore the cornfields that covered our small heads with their bright green canopies or cake our feet with mud, thick as leather, to protect our soles as we ran across the sharp stems of the freshly cut alfalfa fields.
While my dad worked, he often whistled, but when the work was done he liked to talk. He spent hours studying the gospel and was always eager to share all he learned. He loved a captive audience of one, especially within the confines of the small, front office he called his study. The room was legend. Those who went in didn't emerge again for hours, and we, as children, were no exception to his loving lectures. I, however, seemed to spend more time in my father's sanctum than most.
I never intended to be a concern to my parents. In fact, I felt an innate desire to be "good," but the confusion of adolescence can warp wisdom and reality, and there were times when I felt more confident in my own "savvy" judgment than in my parents "archaic" assessments. I wanted definitive answers to every "why?" and when the best my parents could offer was a petition for trust, I was irritated. I steadily pushed against the strict standards that had been set for modesty and media and caused constant concern as I went about choosing friends in need of "saving", a task I exhibited, in my spiritual naivety, as being qualified for. If our family home evening wasn't structured or pre-planned, I complained and pestered for permission to be with friends on Monday nights, and any impediment to my attending the stake Saturday night dances sent me into an obstinate huff. Because my mom appeared—as mothers often do— to be both instigator and enforcer of restrictions, my "moods" were often directed at her, but neither "huffs" nor disrespect were ever tolerated by my father.
Maybe, one of these offenses preempted my father's invitation that summer night, but I'm confident the Spirit guided him as he led me down that long, dark road, without even the smallest flashlight to illuminate the way. We walked in thunderous silence, him waiting for the right moment, me waiting for him—the night noises deafening me with their symphony. Finally, he stopped and reminded me how often he had walked these grounds and how well he knew the lay of the land. He told me about the wild animals that liked to roam at night, the badgers, coyotes, skunks, and raccoons that he tried to avoid and used his shovel to repel. Then, he asked me to walk on alone, no longer on the well-worn road, but through a black field full of ominous shadows. He told me that he'd wait for me.
I could hear the water running in the ditches, so familiar and inviting in the light of day, but now only exuding foreignness and dread. I was afraid—of the dark, the danger, the unknown. He knew I would be. He knew I would not go, but he prodded until I clung to him and cried. He asked if I would feel safe if he went with me and led the way. I said I would. I trusted him—he had always kept me safe before. Now having my full attention, he talked to me of other darkness, other dangers, far more black and perilous. Because he had listened first, to promptings from a father that knew me better than he, this time I listened too.
I never did walk those fields alone that night; he had never intended that I should. My father finally took my hand and guided me home on the same dirt path, now lighted by an inner lamp. I've often thought of the faith that my father forged day after day, year after year, by allowing me to explore those vast fields with him at noonday. I'm sure he never imagined that he'd need those experiences years down the literal road, but Someone knew. Corrie Ten Boom attests that "The experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work he will give us to do." I believe that; my Dad confirmed it.
I don't remember consciously setting my feet on another path that night—often we can't perceive our own personal transformation as clearly as others can—but I've been told that I changed my trajectory that night. Recently I asked my dad about the incident, wanting to hear his perspective, and was surprised when he said, "From that point on you became what we called almost a perfect teenager." Astronomical emphasis needs to be added to his "almost"—I know, I was there—but my faith in an omnipotent Father and a perfect plan has been embedded deep within my core. When I recount these struggles of my youth, my two 14-year-old daughters stare in wonder, trying to envision anything other than a mother—strict, a bit archaic, and often petitioning for their trust.
The Matter of Motherhood
by Rachel Bloomquist - essay was written for Pathway English class - 2018
When I was two years old, my parents, with three children in tow, invested $1500 to move a free, 780 square foot house onto a basement foundation near the front of my grandparents’ 80-acre dairy farm. By the time I was nine our family had grown to nine, and an addition was built onto our cramped home, and because my Dad was a busy farmer and not a professional builder, some things were left unfinished. Where my bedroom closet ceiling met my parents’ bathroom floor, there was a small gap, where the fiberglass corner of the upstairs shower glowed like amber when the bathroom light was on.
I remember distinctly, lying in my bed at the age of ten, watching for that gleam and listening for a brand new baby brothers' cry. The cry came first, so not waiting for the light, I scrambled out of bed and groped my way up the dark stairway, anxiously hoping that I would be allowed to help. My Dad must have already been out doing chores because I remember how grateful my mother was, barely home from surgery, to see me as she tried to struggle out of bed.
The need to nurture must have been inherited from heaven, but that early experience began my modeling of mothering. Motherhood came ten years later, with idyllic, “simple” dreams: love them, lead them, serve them, teach them. Confident that if I properly executed my well-laid plan, my vision of success was guaranteed, I pulled out all the stops. My poor attempt at college and a fleeting fancy of joining the world of Interior Design vanished in an instant.
A homebody already, I leaned into my element: cooking, cleaning, sewing, reading. With a cooing baby in my arms, I was content to rock and pray, feed, and play. Labor pains and sleep deprivation seemed a small price to pay for this consuming adoration, and my true purpose enveloped me completely. I loved, cheered, worried, stumbled, studied, taught, and learned. As the years increased so did the children, and with six now in my heart, my joy was full. Even amidst all of the difficult trials of life—and there were plenty—always my truest consolation was the paddle of ducklings, scurrying in a tight-knit row, on the pretty path behind me.
Pleased that the proven passage ran along such beautiful vistas, I puffed up my mother heart with pride—pride in my children’s obedience and accomplishment, my perseverance, and sacrifice—and with renewed confidence strengthened my faith, sped up my pace and failed to see the dark shadows lurking in the undergrowth or notice the quiet roaming in back of my fluffed up feathers. Then, without warning, it seemed to me, the most nefarious predator was in our midst, scattering my followers, and with his sharp teeth hidden, was brazenly beckoning my flock to follow him! Some, confused and tantalized by the intruder’s invitations for fraudulent freedom, chose to wander off the path that I had chosen, and I could not urge them back. Frantic and disconsolate, I wept and pled and railed, and finally, in abject misery, I let failure wash over and engulf me. If God kept His promises (and I knew He did) then the fault for my flock’s insistent distraction must be mine. I searched my mother-memory, looking for weakness, and found guilt and regret glaring in every reflection. Heartbroken, I conceded that maybe my motherhood didn’t matter after all, and the poisonous predator, still gloating, goaded me to follow him as well.
Jeffrey R. Holland, referencing the Savior of our souls, has said, “Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And ‘press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.’ You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, ‘Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.’ And it will make your children whole as well.”
It has been over a decade since becoming aware of the brutal attacks besieging my family, and I no longer walk along a pleasant path, for it is strewn with the consequences of war! In hindsight I can see the predator—like the devious hunter that he is—was luring from the shadows long before my mother-heart detected him—and he is seducing still—but with all my mother pride deflated, I have learned some significant truths.
God wants me to do the best I can, the very best, for the sake of my children's salvation, but I cannot save them! Nor can I save myself. Only one is suited for that role, and it is Christ’s. Earthly motherhood is the role that God has provided to school me and bring me closer to Him, but investing my heart in someone else and striving to point them to Christ is the most effective way to bring myself. God wants my whole heart, but He cannot make it whole until I bring it to Him broken. He wants me to love perfectly and that requires immersion, selflessness, and pain. He wants me to have an abundance of joy, but agency is inseparable. He wants me to rely, with every breath, on the Atonement of Christ, and “lean not unto [my] own understanding.” He wants me to understand that there is only one path and one plan, and neither are of my own making. He wants me to come unto Him, not collectively, but individually. He wants me to shun sin but serve people. He wants me to minister but not manage and most importantly, he wants me to keep trying, and never to give up! He understands my mother-heart and hopes because He loves my children more and loved them first.
Most days I feel “a brightness of hope.” I trust in God, lean on Christ, and am learning to listen and love. Even now, when I hold these precious children (confused, sometimes miserable, but reaching out and striving to grasp what is truth) in my arms, all the pain seems a small price to pay for the journey toward eternity. The message in the seventh verse of How Firm a Foundation sustains me. “The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes; That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!”
That old nemesis, the poisonous predator, is still persuasive and there are often two voices in my head. One, loud and mocking, continues to cry, “Failure!” The other, quiet and comforting whispers, “Peace, be still.” There are two voices in my head, but only the hushed and hallowed one is in my heart.
I believe Motherhood matters—even mine—not because of what my children are learning from me, but because of what I am learning from a loving Heavenly Father because of them.
Fortifications for Femininity
by Rachel Bloomquist - essay was written for Pathway English class - 2018
The Women’s Suffrage Movement, officially organized in the United States in 1848, was originally motivated by a desire to free the feminine voice in public office and gain the right to vote, but in the 1960s, the perspective shifted from political equality to personal eminence and the Women’s Liberation Movement was born. It quickly overstepped any beneficial boundaries and began producing a new form of bondage, touted as freedom, but manifesting in all sorts of denigrations to the family institution.
Today, this fanaticism promotes and supports every basic breakdown of traditional families, including casual sex, noncommitment, role reversal, domestic extinction, child reduction, and no-fault divorce, all under the guise of choice. These casualties of feminism are revealed in numerous studies and records. In 2015, the Pew Research Center indicated society’s dramatically diminished sense of homemaking, reporting 70% of mothers in the labor force had young children, and of these mothers, 42% were the main breadwinners. In 2017, the Global Market Insights study exposed an epic erosion of the natural correlation between marriage and procreation by documenting the 35 billion dollar birth control industry. Notwithstanding these calamities, the most disturbing of all are the condoned, legalized abortions, which the Center for Disease Control records as responsible for over 45 million deaths.
Some may feel these claims are harsh. There are those who believe that women’s opportunity to cast off their homely bondage and soft arts is a long-sought boon. They feel that female power is unleashed with independence, aggression and even, as Hoover Institute research fellow, Mary Eberstadt ascertained, that feminism and the sexual revolution “has liberated women from the slavery of their fertility, thus freeing them for personal and professional opportunities they could not have enjoyed before,” but those claims are misguided. Rebecca Walker, the daughter of famed feminist Alice Walker, shares the personally tragic effect of this errant mentality:
My mother’s feminist principles colored every aspect of my life. As a little girl, I wasn’t even allowed to play with dolls or stuffed toys in case they brought out a maternal instinct. It was drummed into me that being a mother, raising children and running a home were a form of slavery. Having a career, traveling the world and being independent were what really mattered according to her.The Feminist agenda of our day has pushed beyond the borders of egalitarianism and is now encouraging selfishness and intolerance, as we see displayed boldly in the “me first” attitudes of the day. No longer does popular culture laud the role of nurturer as commendable on its own. Femininity is becoming a mark of weakness and domesticity a sign of ineptitude.
. . .
Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women into childlessness. It is devastating. But far from taking responsibility for any of this, the leaders of the women’s movement close ranks against anyone who dares to question them – as I have learned to my cost. . . . I believe feminism is an experiment, and all experiments need to be assessed on their results. Then, when you see huge mistakes have been paid, you need to make alterations.
One month ago, I accompanied my 17-year-old son to our hometown bank to transition a joint savings account. We were both given paperwork to fill out, and because I have been fortunate enough to be a full-time homemaker all the years of my motherhood, writing that classification in the career space was something I did without any thought. Days later, as part of the process to finalize the account set-up, we were asked to verify our personal information, which had now been typed. Amused, I noticed that my career classification had been changed from “Homemaker” to “Domestic Engineer”, which is not the first time that someone has tried to “elevate” my status. When I pointed out that I preferred the previous title, both bank tellers exchanged a sheepish look and then admitted that they had spent an hour the night before, brainstorming titles that would be more fitting of my occupation. Of course, it made no difference for the account, but it made a great deal of difference, for opposite reasons, to the three of us, for there is power in perception.
In a personal letter of encouragement directed to the women of the church on May 27, 1869, Eliza R. Snow, 2nd general president of the Relief Society says, “Let them seek for wisdom instead of power and they will have all the power they have wisdom to exercise.” Inspired education can unlock wisdom and intelligence, for all truth is eternal. Education should not be looked at as a mere means to a financial career, but as a great advantage to a domestic one and the necessary journey to an eternal one. Not all education need be formal, but femininity requires the diligent and continuous elevation of the mind and the constant spreading of wisdom. John Adams, one of our Founding Fathers expressed, “There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.” Women should be prepared for both, as there has always been necessity for each in our society, but learning how to “live” and continuously creating a nurturing environment in which to experience that “living”, should be the foremost fulfillment of feminine priority.
How can women embody femininity instead of fighting it? They must boldly exemplify the positive differences between men and women and gratefully recognize their joint dependence on God and each other. This requires the courage to be vulnerable. It requires the courage to be disciplined. It requires the acknowledgment that the power of virtuous womanhood is found in altruism instead of egotism. It requires respect and reverence for motherhood, marriage, and homemaking, not as a sidelight but as a spotlight. The Christian author and orator, Elisabeth Elliot, in her book “Let Me Be a Woman”, declares, “You and I have the gift of femininity... the more womanly we are, the more manly men will be and the more God is glorified. Be women, be only women, be real women in obedience to God.”
How Can I Know My Heavenly Father
by Rachel Bloomquist
(Sacrament Mtg. Talk - January 1, 2016)
(Sacrament Mtg. Talk - January 1, 2016)
President Hugh B. Brown once shared the following counsel and experience. He said, “I think one of the first things that every young person should do is attempt to get acquainted with God. I mean that in a very literal sense. I mean it in the sense that we are able to go to Him and obtain the kind of help that we need. … I remember my mother said to me when I went to go on my mission … : ‘My boy, you are going a long way away from me now. Do you remember,’ she said, ‘that when you were a little lad you used to have bad dreams and get frightened? Your bedroom was just off mine, and frequently you would cry out in the night and say, “Mother, are you there?” And I would answer, “Yes, my boy, I’m here—everything is all right. Turn over and go to sleep.” You always did. Knowing that I was there gave you courage.
“‘Now,’ she said, ‘you will be about 6,000 miles away, and though you may cry out for me I cannot answer you.’ She added this: ‘There is one who can, and if you call to Him, He’ll hear you when you call. He will respond to your appeal. You just say, “Father, are you there?” and there will come into your heart the comfort and solace such as you knew as a boy when I answered you.’
In a 1973 pamphlet, the First Presidency issued this statement.”The title father is sacred and eternal. It is significant that of all the titles of respect and honor and admiration that are given to Deity, he has asked us to address him as Father.” So, how can I know my Heavenly Father?
Knowing God is so important that the Savior said, “This is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (John 17:3).
Elder Bernard P. Brockbank said, “Many believe that there is a God, many say that they know there is a God, but many do not act like they know God. There is a great difference in believing or knowing that there is a God and in knowing God.
During the Christmas season, many of us give gifts. We each use different tools to help ensure that our gifts will be appreciated. As a last resort, I may spend some time perusing loved ones Pinterest boards, but it can never compare with actually being daily immersed in someone's life. The less immersed, the less aware we are of others' wants and needs.
In the D&C 88:63, we have the directive and promise, “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” How are we each personally answering that invitation?
President Henry B. Eyring said, "If you want to stay close to someone who has been dear to you, but from whom you are separated, you know how to do it. You would find a way to speak to them, you would listen to them, and you would discover ways to do things for each other. The more often that happened, the longer it went on, the deeper would be the bond of affection. If much time passed without the speaking, the listening, and the doing, the bond would weaken.”
That insight has never been more apparent or important to me, than it is presently, as the mother of adult children who no longer live at home. Our family has grown up close and I want that connection to stay strong. I want my children, born to me or married in, to remain emotionally close. I want them to share when they are happy, seek comfort when they are sad, ask advise when they are wondering, and I want them to know that I will always be there, always loving them, always wanting to help them achieve joy. Those kinds of relationships take effort, commitment, discipline, and sacrifice and that is the relationship bond that our Heavenly Father wants each of us to be forging with Him.
Through the scriptures and the words of the prophets, I have found a few essential ways (as Pres Eyring suggested) to speak and listen and do:
1. Humble Ourselves - D&C 67:10 "Humble yourselves before me and you shall see me and know that I am."
2. Exercise our particles of Faith - Robert D. Hales said, "If you cannot remember believing in God or if you have ceased to believe or if you believe but without real conviction, I invite you to seek a testimony of God now. ... with your own testimony of God, you will be able to bless your family, your posterity, your friends, your own life—all those you love. Your personal knowledge of God is not only the greatest gift you will ever give, but it will bring you the greatest joy you will ever have."
3. Pray - I don't own a cell phone. My children think I should. They frequently try to convince me that our communication would be so much easier if I did because though I am home more than any other place, they can't reach me if I'm not there. What a blessing it would be if we, as children of our Heavenly Father, were as concerned that we had immediate and constant access to Him. fortunately, he is available at any time, in any place, but it still requires our instigation.
4. Study the Scriptures - Though not consistent, I am a journal writer. A few weeks ago, my young daughter found one of my teenage journals and asked permission to read it. She spent days reading, intrigued at what she learned that she never knew. Luckily, the scriptures are not a juvenile record, but we can learn so much about our Father in Heaven, that we never knew, especially as we study the life of His son, who is so like Him, and allow the Spirit to touch our hearts and draw us closer to the God whose we are.
5. Keep His commandments - 1 John 2:3-5 "And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him. Elder Bernard P. Brockbank said, "It is not possible to choose God's way of life and to know God unless we know His program. If we only know the ways of men and the ways of the devil, then we will choose those ways."
6. Repent - Mosiah 4:10,12 "And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them. And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true."
6. Repent - Mosiah 4:10,12 "And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them. And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true."
7. Serve One Another - John 5:13 13 For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?"
Sister Bonnie D. Parkin said, "To know is to do!... There’s a little secret about 'to know is to do': the flip side is also true— 'to do is to know!' In other words, if you’re unsure, just do anyway. Jesus has promised, “If any man will do [my Father’s] will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God” (John 7:17). Do, and you’ll know."
I love the anticipation of Christmas Advents. Whenever I hear of a meaningful countdown, I excitedly try to add it to our family’s long list of traditions, which, to my husbands' dismay and my disappointment, means that some days we run out of hours before we run out of advents. We have carols, candles, stars, books, ornaments, and daily events we call "Cheers." This year the church proposed a beautiful advent, which, like many of you, I eagerly adopted. One of the days suggested different ideas for feeding those who are less fortunate, so, though we'd never done it before, I volunteered our family to serve dinner at a men's shelter. None of us were quite sure what to expect, but I anticipated showing up and being badly needed. However, the shelter had regular volunteers who could easily have done this job, this night, but instead stepped aside to give our family the experience. I was taken aback, as I looked from the rough hands and then into the eyes of every man we served and felt God's love for His children...His love for me. I hadn't expected a spiritual experience, but it strengthened my love for a Father who is no respecter of personal circumstances. And when we left, I think we all felt like we were walking on sacred ground.
The day will come when we will see our Heavenly Father again. President Benson described it this way: “Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar his face is to us.”
Paraphrasing the YW theme, - I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father, sho loves me and I love Him. As an earthly parent, I understand, to a small degree, the love He has for His children and how important it is to me that my children know who I am, what I believe, how much I love them, and that they consistently communicate with me. I want to be that kind of daughter. The more I get to know my Maker, the more He helps me to understand my divinity and potential. I testify that at every juncture of my life, whenever I have cried out (and those times have been many) "Father, are you there?" He always is. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I love the anticipation of Christmas Advents. Whenever I hear of a meaningful countdown, I excitedly try to add it to our family’s long list of traditions, which, to my husbands' dismay and my disappointment, means that some days we run out of hours before we run out of advents. We have carols, candles, stars, books, ornaments, and daily events we call "Cheers." This year the church proposed a beautiful advent, which, like many of you, I eagerly adopted. One of the days suggested different ideas for feeding those who are less fortunate, so, though we'd never done it before, I volunteered our family to serve dinner at a men's shelter. None of us were quite sure what to expect, but I anticipated showing up and being badly needed. However, the shelter had regular volunteers who could easily have done this job, this night, but instead stepped aside to give our family the experience. I was taken aback, as I looked from the rough hands and then into the eyes of every man we served and felt God's love for His children...His love for me. I hadn't expected a spiritual experience, but it strengthened my love for a Father who is no respecter of personal circumstances. And when we left, I think we all felt like we were walking on sacred ground.
The day will come when we will see our Heavenly Father again. President Benson described it this way: “Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar his face is to us.”
Paraphrasing the YW theme, - I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father, sho loves me and I love Him. As an earthly parent, I understand, to a small degree, the love He has for His children and how important it is to me that my children know who I am, what I believe, how much I love them, and that they consistently communicate with me. I want to be that kind of daughter. The more I get to know my Maker, the more He helps me to understand my divinity and potential. I testify that at every juncture of my life, whenever I have cried out (and those times have been many) "Father, are you there?" He always is. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Over the River and Through the Woods
by Rachel Bloomquist
"What Middleton Has Meant to Me" essay contest submission----2nd Place winner - 2010
"What Middleton Has Meant to Me" essay contest submission----2nd Place winner - 2010
We have no claim to generational history in Middleton and most of our family memories were not planted here, but over the past five years, our hearts have become firmly rooted. We came here initially, feeling vulnerable and guarded. Guided to a new start in a quiet, country place, our first impression, driving past a faded yellow sign and abandoned buildings, was disappointing, but not deterring.
The attachment began, in part, because of a big, black dog. Some of you know her by name, many of you only by sight, but when our family of eight moved into town, our Labradors’ journeys, propelled us outside of our safe, emotional walls and into other people’s lives. For a few, brief years, Olive was raised a farm dog, and then as life does, it changed suddenly and we found ourselves transplanted from perceived Utopia to a 1/4 acre plot in Middleton. My family started acclimating quickly; our dog did not.
We bought our first home and immediately built a four-foot fence, for containment. Olive learned to jump it within weeks. The phone calls started immediately and became a daily ritual. “Do you have a dog named Olive?” A submissive, “Yes.” And every time the different voices were kind and helpful. The neighbors called. The school called. The city barber called. Police, Animal Control officers, and schoolchildren knocked on our door. The response was always the same, “Nice dog.” Our thoughts were always the same, “Nice people.”
Still, we worried. There was Olive’s safety and the fear that the good nature of strangers would run out. So, we resorted to long tie-out cables, then short, then to rebuilding the four-foot fence to six. The prisoner sulked briefly, then Houdini like continued to escape… and the phone calls persisted. “Mrs. Bloomquist, this is Mill Creek Elementary. The children are all holding on to Olive by the parking lot.” “Mrs. Bloomquist, this is Mill Creek, we’ve got Olive locked in the Kindergarten playground.” “Mrs. Bloomquist, this is Mill Creek…” (Again?) “…We have Olive in the principals’ office…” And consistently, the only voice which seemed frustrated was mine.
For the first time in my life, I was motivated to run… for my dog’s sake, and our neighbors, and the towns’. Often, as I passed a field on my route, the same friendly farmer greeted me. “It looks like your dog is out running you!” She was; always. Often, she was impatient. Sometimes, a kind young man found Olive during his early morning runs and brought her home before I could get my children off to school. After a few times, we no longer felt like strangers, and frequently he offered to take her with him in the morning, on purpose. He humbled me with his kindness. For a year I ran with Olive, every morning, six days a week. I ran through construction sites that were once farms and watched the city grow. My subdivision family was part of that growth, but even so, farm girl loyalties ached at seeing open fields evolve into houses. I ran without music, (because I didn't know how to work my children’s Mp3’s) and the quiet forced me to observe and ponder and feel. That year, I found something deep in Middleton and in myself.
Over the past few years, my husband has rebuilt, altered and Olive proofed every fence around our home. For months, we have been successful at keeping her where she belongs… most of the time. Occasionally a concerned phone call still comes when a small child or strong wind unlatches the gate and makes escape possible. My consistent runs which constantly provided Olive’s freedom have waned considerably, (of this both our waistlines are proof) but even so, this big black dog has taught me to love the gracious people of Middleton and appreciate their goodness. I feel indebted to a modest town we now call home, which continually comes together like family, and is teaching me the true meaning of community. No longer am I disappointed but proud, as I drive “over the river and through the woods”, to be greeted by our small city sign; “Welcome to Middleton”.
Be Humble—Be Wise
by Rachel Bloomquist
The
philosopher James Allen once wrote, “Circumstance
does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.” I have thought about that concept deeply during
the past 6 years of my life. I have pondered
it over and over, because a family member used to say, during an especially difficult
time in both of our lives when she felt her behavior, or mine, wasn't exemplary, “this isn't who we really are.” Trying to convince us both, she said it often, and the more she said it,
the more I became profoundly aware that it wasn't true. It was during that year that I realized that
it is in our darkest hours when we become intimately acquainted with who we
truly are.
C.S. Lewis has wisely said,
...surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York, McMillan Publishing, 1952), pp. 164-165.)
Those in this room who know me well, and even some who don’t, are very
aware that humility is a debilitating weakness of mine. I haven’t always known that but in the past
few years, I have become painfully aware of areas in my life where I struggle
with personal pride. The road to
change is long. It is difficult, and often
painful, and has become a journey of discovery for me. In this spiritual atmosphere, I want to share
with you some of the things that I am learning, along the way, about the vitally
essential and inseparable connection between humility and wisdom.
Elder Richard C. Edgley has
enlightened us with these truths.
Many of us live … in an environment where humility is often misunderstood and considered a weakness. … Yet as we learn about the workings of God, the power of a humble and submissive spirit becomes apparent. In the kingdom of God, greatness begins with humility and submissiveness.
Humbly submitting our will to the Father brings us the empowerment of God—the power of humility. It is the power to meet life’s adversities, the power of peace, the power of hope, the power of a heart throbbing with a love for and testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ, even the power of redemption… (Richard C. Edgley, “The Empowerment of Humility,” Ensign Nov 2003, 97–99.)
Who of
us usually think of humility as equivalent to great power? Who of us has ever wanted to possess that
kind of power; the power of peace, hope, testimony, redemption? I yearn for those things, but developing the
attribute of humility is perplexing and problematic.
President
Spencer W. Kimball counsels us.
If the Lord was meek and lowly and humble, then to become humble one must do what he did in boldly denouncing evil, bravely advancing righteous work, courageously meeting every problem, becoming the master of himself and the situations about him and being…oblivious to personal credit.
Humility is not pretentious, presumptuous, or proud. It is not weak, vacillating, or servile…Humble and meek properly suggest virtues, not weaknesses. They suggest a consistent mildness of temper and an absence of wrath…Humility is teachableness…It is not boastful, because when one becomes conscious of his great humility, he has already lost it (Spencer W. Kimball, Improvement Era, Aug. 1963, pp. 656-7, 704.)
So, if consciousness of humility
is actually the absence of it, how can we ever know if we are on the right
track, and going in the right direction?
The most obvious way is to take constant inventory of our proneness to
pride.
Truman
G. Madsen has taught,
the opposite of humility is being “puffed up.” About what? Almost anything: achievement, learning, wisdom, riches, status, clothing, class, military strength, beauty. And, strangely, the contrary of these. One can even be proud about not being proud (Truman G. Madsen, “I Have a Question,” Ensign, Feb. 1985, 49–50.)
Do we
relate to any of those pitfalls? If we
think not, what about being proud about not being proud—that is cleverly
disguised.
Elder
N. Eldon Tanner has said,
So often [people] get so carried away with their success and desire for praise that they forget their duty to God and the importance of his approval and as a result lose their way...This craving for praise and popularity too often controls actions, and as they succumb they find themselves bending their character when they think they are only taking a bow (N. Eldon Tanner, “For They Loved the Praise of Men More Than the Praise of God,” Ensign, Nov 1975, 74.)
Unfortunately, I don’t think I have spent much of
my life being a humble person, but by President Tanner’s definition, neither
had I ever thought of myself as prideful.
I supposed I regarded myself existing on neutral ground. Like every teen, I wanted to fit in and be
liked and so sometimes followed the crowd but with age the need for praise
and popularity seemed to fade and as I found myself standing up to the world,
often feeling alone and on my own, I became disillusioned into feeling safe
from (or somehow immune to) what is sometimes considered the peer pressure trap
of pride. Young women, there is no
neutrality in the gospel. I was wrong.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks made this
crystal clear with this prophetic statement.
...weakness is not our only vulnerability. Satan can also attack us where we think we are strong—in the very areas where we are proud of our strengths. He will approach us through the greatest talents and spiritual gifts we possess. If we are not wary, Satan can cause our spiritual downfall by corrupting us through our strengths as well as by exploiting our weaknesses (Dallin H. Oaks, “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall,” Ensign, Oct 1994, 11.)
I want to relate an experience to
you that is quite personal and has become sacred, but because it has taught me
so much about humility and wisdom and the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ,
I have felt inspired to share it in this setting.
On a Sunday in mid-January, my
family was all closely congregated in my tiny kitchen after church. My twin daughters were both sitting at our
bar and had asked for some cheese. Everyone
was hungry and I was quickly trying to take care of my younger children’s needs. Not being able to find my kitchen shears, I
had grabbed a large knife to cut through the plastic. The knife was dull and when the plastic gave
way, so did the pressure I was exerting on it, making an uncontrolled, line
drive between the eyes of my six-year-old daughter Lily and sinking into the
bridge of her nose. She immediately started
to cry and grabbed her face so that I couldn't see the damage as I picked her
up and screamed for my husband, whose back was turned. I finally pried her little hands away enough
to see a deep wound that was pouring blood.
My husband scooped her out of my arms and surrounded by all of my children, he calmly and expertly used his years of medical background and E.R. experience to stop the bleeding and close the wound with complicated bandaging. Lily was then placed back in my arms, and with the opposing emotions of relief and anguish, I dropped to my knees as the flood gates opened. I held my little girl and rocked her and sobbed until I felt my heart would break. My husband gave her a priesthood blessing and finally convinced me to lay her on the couch and encourage her to sleep, so she would be holding still for the next few hours. By morning, what had been a bone-deep gash, was a thin, light pink, smooth line. I was so grateful.
As he left for work, my husband gave me instructions to change the bandaging when Lily awoke, and to keep her as inactive as possible. I tried my best to re-bandage the wound, but because of the difficulty of its location and my lack of experience, I had to keep re-positioning it during the day and by the time my husband got home that evening and checked it, the wound had pulled apart again and was already forming scar tissue. I was beside myself with redoubled guilt from not only causing the wound but now also causing what I knew would be obvious and permanent scarring on a perfect little face in a very prominent place.
I kept Lily home from school for 3 days so that she could heal (I told myself) but more than that I couldn't face the inevitable questions. And when I could keep her home no longer and the innocently honest and childlike questions and answers did come, they seared guilt deeper into my heart. By the time Sunday came around again, I was a spiritual and emotional mess and at church was greeted with adult questions and even unintentionally thoughtless jokes and I endured the three hours of meetings in almost constant tears.
My husband scooped her out of my arms and surrounded by all of my children, he calmly and expertly used his years of medical background and E.R. experience to stop the bleeding and close the wound with complicated bandaging. Lily was then placed back in my arms, and with the opposing emotions of relief and anguish, I dropped to my knees as the flood gates opened. I held my little girl and rocked her and sobbed until I felt my heart would break. My husband gave her a priesthood blessing and finally convinced me to lay her on the couch and encourage her to sleep, so she would be holding still for the next few hours. By morning, what had been a bone-deep gash, was a thin, light pink, smooth line. I was so grateful.
As he left for work, my husband gave me instructions to change the bandaging when Lily awoke, and to keep her as inactive as possible. I tried my best to re-bandage the wound, but because of the difficulty of its location and my lack of experience, I had to keep re-positioning it during the day and by the time my husband got home that evening and checked it, the wound had pulled apart again and was already forming scar tissue. I was beside myself with redoubled guilt from not only causing the wound but now also causing what I knew would be obvious and permanent scarring on a perfect little face in a very prominent place.
I kept Lily home from school for 3 days so that she could heal (I told myself) but more than that I couldn't face the inevitable questions. And when I could keep her home no longer and the innocently honest and childlike questions and answers did come, they seared guilt deeper into my heart. By the time Sunday came around again, I was a spiritual and emotional mess and at church was greeted with adult questions and even unintentionally thoughtless jokes and I endured the three hours of meetings in almost constant tears.
I share this experience with you
because it is important to understand that our Heavenly Father will
have a humble people. If we are stubborn
about submitting voluntarily, he will use the natural circumstances of our
lives to compel us to become humble. “Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble…” (Alma 32:16)
It was during this “compelling”
process that I received an answer to an e-mail inquiry I had previously sent to
my oldest sister. Days before this
experience, I had vented to her about a frustration which caused me to feel
that the majority of the population around me was being sucked into an obsessed literary frenzy and its effects were becoming almost unavoidable and decidedly personal. I knew this particular sister wouldn't coddle
me; that is not her way, but knowing that she has a level head and thinking she
would at least be a link to some needed sanity, I had approached her with a
sort of, “am I crazy or is it the rest of
the world” kind of a question.
President Ezra Taft Benson has taught,
Pride is characterized by “What do I want out of life?” rather than by “What would God have me do with my life?” It is self-will as opposed to God’s will. It is the fear of man over the fear of God.
Pride does not look up to God and care about what is right. It looks sideways to man and argues who is right (Ezra Taft Benson, “Cleansing the Inner Vessel,” Ensign, May 1986, 4.)
Does anyone see a big red flag waving in the wind?
My sister's reply was more lengthy
than I expected and came back in clever verse, but in effect said that yes, in
fact, she thought I was a little crazy, though not necessarily wrong. However, if I wanted to be powerful in
positive ways I would have to start trying to understand other people’s points
of view and stop intimidating them. In
essence, I needed to be more Christ-like in my attitude and approach. She ended her letter with these lines.
You feel passionately about things and you want to influence the world around you and those are both great and good things. But sometimes you are your own worst enemy in this endeavor because you go running out with a sword and people start diving into the bushes because your manner says they are about to be shish-kebabbed when really you were out there trying to protect them from evil.
My sister is
an author; her writing is infamous in my family, so when I saw that an answer
from her had come, Mikayla was in the room and wanted to read it with me. We both laughed at the creative analogies and
vivid imagery, and then I promptly went up to my bathroom, locked the door, and
cried. I cried because I was feeling so
vulnerable, I cried because life seemed especially hard that week, and I cried
mostly because someone had seen into my heart, even before I realized what was
hiding there and had unveiled weaknesses that resonated as real. In that brief window, the words of my sister and
the influence of the Spirit compelled me to be teachable, for just a
moment. In any other frame of mind, I most
likely would have seen her counsel as unheeded opinion instead of the truth
that it was but this particular week I felt submissive enough to recognize
the need for, and desire of sincere change. Gradually the peace and promise in the D&C 112:10 seeped
into my mind, “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.” And he did—and he does. That week I felt the powerful and personal
miracle of the healing of the Atonement in my life, but that is a conversation
for another day.
Can we be
bold and courageous and powerful in positive ways, without being proud? We must if we are to truly emulate Christ.
Truman G. Madsen relates the following.
A story is told of an encounter between the Prophet Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. In the presence of a rather large group of brethren, the Prophet severely chastised Brother Brigham for some failing in his duty. Everyone, I suppose somewhat stunned, waited to see what Brigham’s response would be. After all, Brigham, who later became known as the Lion of the Lord, was no shrinking violet by any means. Brigham slowly rose to his feet, and in words that truly reflected his character and his humility, he simply bowed his head and said, “Joseph, what do you want me to do?” The story goes that sobbing, Joseph ran from the podium, threw his arms around Brigham, and said in effect, “You passed, Brother Brigham, you passed (see Truman G. Madsen, “Hugh B. Brown—Youthful Veteran,” New Era, Apr. 1976, 16).
Would you pass?
Would I?
In Ether
12:27 we are taught,
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
As I have
studied and prayed and sought guidance and direction in this particular refiner’s
fire, personal revelation has come in ways and places that I never expected, and
with it has come small pieces of wisdom...wisdom to realize that humility brings repentance, that repentance
brings change, that change brings added wisdom and that accumulation of wisdom
is a life long journey for all of us.
In his final words to his people, the prophet Jacob counsels,
encourages, teaches, and ultimately pleads with those that he loves, to humble
themselves before the Lord in order to obtain eternal life, and having done all
of that, he ends his testimony with eight infamous words. “O be wise; what can I say more?”
With that same love, I add my testimony to his that there is a God in
heaven. He is our literal father. His firstborn son, our eldest brother Jesus
Christ guides this gospel and our daily, personal, very intimate lives. Their united vision is omnipotent; our
potential is divine, but in order to reach it, we must turn our will over to theirs
and trust them, with full humility of heart.
Instruments in the Lord's Hands
by Rachel Bloomquist
I want to tell you an incredible story. It’s a true story— one you've heard many
times before, but I suspect that many of you, like me, might just have missed
one of the great lessons found within this account. I want to talk for just a couple of minutes
about Ammon— the great missionary. This
story has so many lessons, but because I want to focus on one particular aspect
we must fast forward past Ammon’s rebellion with Alma the younger, past his
visitation with the angel, past his refusal of the throne his father offers him
and follow him into the wilderness with his brothers, where they are seeking
inspiration and guidance to know how and where to serve, and we should remember
that they have been preaching the gospel for 14 years to the Lamanites. They pray and fast for direction and their
prayers are answered in the 17th chapter of Alma where the Lord says unto them,
This is the part of the story that I love, not the action/adventure drama which is often highlighted. Where is Ammon? He’s feeding the king’s horses. Why? Because the king had commanded his servants, prior to watering his sheep, that afterward, they were to prepare his horses and chariots and escort them to his father’s land for a prepared feast. So, because he is a man of integrity, Ammon is finishing his chores. And of all the accounts that are related to the king, what amazes him the most? Not Ammon's incredible show of courage, nor his feats of strength, though all are undoubtedly impressive; it is Ammon’s faithfulness in obeying all of His commands. It is the humble task of watering his horses that moves the king most.
Go forth among the Lamanites, thy brethren, and establish my word: yet ye shall be patient in long-suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good examples unto them in me, and I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of many souls.Remember that council while we fast forward again. We will remember that Ammon goes to the land of Ishmael and is bound and carried before King Lamoni and because Ammon is desirous to live among his people the king is pleased, sets him free, and offers his daughter in marriage. Ammon refuses and in effect tells him he just wants to serve him. The king is more pleased, so Ammon is given the assignment of watering the King's sheep, which of course he fulfills, fights like a lion, protects the sheep and the other servants from a large group of robbers, finishes watering the sheep, returns them to the kings' pasture. At this point, the other servants run into the king to relate this incredible thing that they have just experienced but Ammon is no longer with them.
This is the part of the story that I love, not the action/adventure drama which is often highlighted. Where is Ammon? He’s feeding the king’s horses. Why? Because the king had commanded his servants, prior to watering his sheep, that afterward, they were to prepare his horses and chariots and escort them to his father’s land for a prepared feast. So, because he is a man of integrity, Ammon is finishing his chores. And of all the accounts that are related to the king, what amazes him the most? Not Ammon's incredible show of courage, nor his feats of strength, though all are undoubtedly impressive; it is Ammon’s faithfulness in obeying all of His commands. It is the humble task of watering his horses that moves the king most.
Like Ammon of old, we have each been given the responsibility to lift
and build and serve each other. President Spencer W. Kimball has said:
In the world before we came here, faithful women (and I might add faithful men) were given certain assignments...While we do not now remember the particulars, this does not alter the glorious reality of what we once agreed to. We are accountable for those things which long ago were expected of us.Powerful! Sis. Mary Ellen Smoot suggests that our responsibilities as the Lord’s instruments are similar to the instruments in an orchestra. “Happily we are not expected to duplicate the talents or inclinations of each other.” Each of us is unique and important, and can best touch others through our individual ways, but I suggest we each are expected to play our part. What would happen to Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture if the musician on symbols decided he was too busy or tired to play or he decided he would rather drop his instrument and play the violin?
I want to tell you another story. It is also true but because I abhor sad
stories I am going to think of this as a work in progress. A few months ago, my husband went out of town
for some specialized training. On his
return flight, he sat next to a co-worker and had a wonderful, open conversation
about the gospel. She expressed that her
experiences with members of our church had not been very positive. She had observed that latter-day saint women
were not very friendly, and didn’t want people outside of their faith to
interact with their children. Fred
assured her that she had made a hasty judgment from a few poor examples and
that was not indicative of most latter-day saint women.
Fred's plane arrived at the airport around 11p.m. on a school night. I had to wake up my sleeping baby Abrahm, and load my four children in the car, then usher them through the airport on my own so I was thrilled to see Fred’s helping hands as he walked off the airplane. The co-workers husband was waiting for her and introductions were made. The sad truth is that at that moment I was not interested in meeting any people but the one person who I had come to get. I was not friendly, I was tired. I could have verified everything that Fred had tried to convince her of in a few short moments but without realizing it I symbolically chose not to feed the King’s horses. I chose not to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands and I disappointed my husband.
Fred's plane arrived at the airport around 11p.m. on a school night. I had to wake up my sleeping baby Abrahm, and load my four children in the car, then usher them through the airport on my own so I was thrilled to see Fred’s helping hands as he walked off the airplane. The co-workers husband was waiting for her and introductions were made. The sad truth is that at that moment I was not interested in meeting any people but the one person who I had come to get. I was not friendly, I was tired. I could have verified everything that Fred had tried to convince her of in a few short moments but without realizing it I symbolically chose not to feed the King’s horses. I chose not to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands and I disappointed my husband.
“So how do we do it?" Sis. Smoot asks "amid the pressures of life, how do we become
the most effective instruments we can be in the hands of the Lord?” In answer, she shares four guidelines to follow:
- "Our own conversion must come first...if we are to bring the light of the gospel into the lives of others, it must shine brightly in our own." We can’t just live the gospel when our circumstances are ideal.
- "Like the sons of Mosiah, We must wax strong 'in the knowledge of the truth'. [They] continually studied the gospel. Through fasting and prayer and immersing themselves in the scriptures, they came to know that Jesus is the Christ, and they learned to hear His voice...Our ability to hear the voice of the Spirit is dependent upon our willingness to keep the commandments." Had I been in the right frame of mind that night at the airport, I’m sure I would have felt the Spirit trying to reach me and remind me that kindness and love are always important, no matter how tired and stretched I feel.
- "Service is key to being an effective instrument." Ammon could have had fame and fortune, but he chose servitude instead and by so doing softened the hearts of many of the Lamanites. I'm sure his service wasn't always comfortable but he was sincere and the people could feel it.
- "Love must undergird everything we do." Ammon’s sincere love for King Lamoni eventually softened the heart of King Lamoni's father and helped pave the way for the conversion of the entire family, which then spread outward in the kingdom.
We each must choose what kind of instrument we will allow the Lord to make of
us. Will we choose to become weighted
down by our temporal responsibilities or will we choose to serve and show by
our example what we truly believe, even after and among the challenges of the
day. I would like to think that I will
have the opportunity to show many others what I should have shown my husband’s co-worker that late night, months ago, and that she will one day soon, meet someone more prepared than I was. Certainly, we each have opportunities every
day to feed the king's horses. It is my
prayer that we will do so.
Purifying Our Hearts Through Prayer
by Rachel Bloomquist
(talk for all ward conference YM/YW meetings in the Middleton stake - 2007)
(talk for all ward conference YM/YW meetings in the Middleton stake - 2007)
As we each reflect on our mornings, how many of us in this room were involved in personal
prayer? And of those, who
of us actually made a connection and had sincere communication with our
Heavenly Father? Did any of us leave a formulaic message on the spiritually symbolic answering
machine or forget altogether? If there is a defining difference between our attitude and approach, and there is, how dow we go about the process of purifying our hearts through prayer?
Websters
Dictionary tells us that “purification is the process of rendering something clean of
foreign elements” and “to make free from anything that debases, pollutes,
adulterates, or contaminates such as to purify metals.”
So, I got on
the Internet and I did a little bit of research on purifying metals. I was especially interested in purifying
Gold. The truth is, I didn’t understand
much of what I read. I’m sure some it
would have made much more sense to have actually watched the process take
place, while someone was explaining, but what I did learn is that it is a long,
complicated process, achieved using chemical reactions and sometimes intense
heat, but when done correctly, the end result is something very refined,
precious and beautiful.
In Mosiah 4:
9-12, King Benjamin gives us this counsel:
8 And this is the means whereby salvation cometh. And there is none other salvation save this which hath been spoken of; neither are there any conditions whereby man can be saved except the conditions which I have told you.
9 Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.
10 And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them.
11 And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have tasted of his love, and have received a remission of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel.
12 And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.
Doesn’t that
sound a little bit like a refiner’s fire?
In John 17:3
we read: “And this is life
eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom
thou hast sent.”
In Matthew.
22:37 the Lord also commanded: “Thou shalt love the
Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.”
To know and
love God are commandments and sacred blessings. One of the ways that we can come to know God
and Jesus Christ is through sincere prayer.
To pray meaningfully requires that we begin to understand the true
character of God., and our relationship to him.
So how do we
go about understanding and strengthening that relationship?
Elder Oaks
has said,
“The words we use in speaking to someone can identify the
nature of our relationship to that person. They can also remind the speaker and
listener of the responsibilities they owe one another in that relationship. The
form of address can also serve as a mark of respect or affection. So it is with the language of prayer...”
When we go
to worship in a temple or a church, we put aside our working clothes and dress
ourselves in something better. This change of clothing is a mark of
respect. Similarly, when we address our
Heavenly Father, we should put aside our working words and clothe our prayers
in special language of reverence and respect. In offering prayers, members of
our Church do not address our Heavenly Father with the same words we use in
speaking to a fellow worker, to an employer, or to a merchant in the
marketplace. We use special words that have been sanctified by use in inspired
communications, words that have been recommended to us and modeled for us by
those we sustain as prophets and inspired teachers.”
What words
do you suppose he is referring to? (Discussion
on “the language of prayer “)
In 1 Cor.
13:11 we read, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a
child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish
things.”
The same is
true of prayer. Our earliest efforts will be heard with joy by our Heavenly
Father, however they are phrased. They will be heard in the same way by loving
members of our church. But as we gain experience as members of The Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we need to become more mature in all of our
efforts, including our prayers.
We read in the Bible
Dictionary:
As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are his children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matthew. 7: 7-11) Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.
We pray in Christ’s name when our mind is the mind of Christ, and our wishes the wishes of Christ - when his words abide in us. (John 15: 7) We then ask for things it is possible for God to grant. Many prayers remain unanswered because they are not in Christ’s name at all; they in no way represent his mind, but spring out of the selfishness of man’s heart.
Share my personal thoughts:
Brief
synopsis of getting to the ranch (praying for trials)— Praying to be grateful up
there (Earth washed clean— sparkling granite, “What a Beautiful World”—
Humility
He loves us—
He is listening— Are we?
In Moroni
7:48 we are reminded:
“Wherefore, my beloved
brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be
filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers
of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons [and daughters] of God;
that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is;
that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure”
Faith
by Rachel Bloomquist - Sacrament Meeting talk in McCall--2006
Two weeks ago, when I found out about this assignment, a myriad of thoughts raced through my mind, and I have to admit that none of them were very positive. What was the Bishopric thinking after all? I’m living in a 5th wheel with no library, no Internet. I have twins, and can barely get a 2-minute shower not to mention preparing a talk and on top of that, we were to be the last speakers of the month on the same topic that has been spoken on all month. What else is there to say? Feeling sorry for myself—oh yea! But, I am here before you this morning with a much more humble heart and I want to tell you that our Heavenly Father is always mindful of us, even in seemingly insignificant things and he provided me with resources through other people and the testimony that these (scriptures) and this (heart) were really the most important resources. Through a YW service project, he provided me with some significant time to study and ponder and in the end, it is very apparent to me what the Bishopric was thinking.--that no matter what circumstances we are in, when given this kind of opportunity we always learn and grow and for that, I am very grateful.
When I was a young child in 1st or 2nd grade I remember having a Sunday school lesson about faith and being able to move mountains and control the elements. I remember being fascinated and standing on the playground at school the next day being sure that if I concentrated and hoped for it hard enough I would be able to walk right through the playground equipment. I wanted so much to put my “faith” to the test that I tried my experiment all recess. Needless to say, it didn't work and I determined that my faith was not strong enough. I hope that I have matured and grown spiritually enough over the years to have a better understanding of what faith is.
In pondering this I talked to my older sister and she encouraged me to go back and review the story of Joshua and Caleb in the Old Testament. If we remember, the children of Israel have been traveling in the wilderness for some time when they finally come to the outskirts of Canaan. The Lord tells Moses that this is the promised land and that he is to send 12 spies (one representative from each of the twelve tribes) to search out the area. So, they go and what do they find? In my ponderings, this principle has changed my heart and given me the motivation to increase my faith and strive to show that through my actions. In our own individual “promised lands” what have we found?
Before we answer that we need to go to the Bible Dictionary and read under the topic of faith where it says, “The Lord has revealed himself and his perfect character, possessing their fullness all the attributes of love, knowledge, justice, mercy, unchangeableness, power, and every other needful thing, so as to enable the mind of man to place confidence in him without reservation”--without reservation Brothers and Sisters— that is important.
Now, while we’re thinking about that let’s go back to the children of Israel and the report from the twelve tribes. Ten of the leaders come back and tell the people that the land of Canaan is flowing with milk and honey BUT the walls are too high, the people are too many, the giants are too big and the land is too tortuous. And the people begin to cry and complain and even plan to return to Egypt. Now we need to remember that the Lord has already told them that it is the Promised Land—that it is theirs for the taking, but because it’s not obvious, because it seems too hard, they show no faith. But, then Joshua and Caleb give their report. They've seen the same trials, so to speak, but because they have faith, without reservation, in Christ, they see a good land and they tell the people that surely the Lord will make their possession of it possible because he promised it to them. So, do they unite behind them and say you’re right; it’s not that bad, I can see the positives in this situation. No— they wanted to stone them. And what were the consequences of their refusal to see the good and be positive? The Lord told them they would wander in the wilderness for forty years, and that of that group only Caleb and Joshua would ever see the Promised Land. Do we sometimes cry and mourn because we are experiencing trials that seem too hard. Do we magnify the walls and the giants and downplay the milk and honey or do we have the faith of Joshua and Caleb to be happy and cheerful in our wildernesses and be courageous enough to fight for our promised lands?
Last year, our little family was living on my father’s 80-acre dairy farm where I had spent all of my childhood, next to my parents and brother, in the house my grandparents had lived in as long as I can remember. My husband has a good, stable job and we were planning on staying there for the rest of our lives, working on fixing up our little cottage and being content. In fact, my husband had just planted me a weeping willow and spent all summer building me a white picket fence. From my point of view, it was every little girl's storybook come true (of course my husband had a different point of view). And then suddenly, through a rapid series of events, my father decided to sell the farmland and move to somewhere else and I pulled big children of Israel. I cried and I mourned and I planted my feet and dared anyone to try and move me. And then somehow, with the help of my husband and through the workings of the Spirit on this stubborn soul, I began to realize that the hand of the Lord was at work and I had to implement the faith I had been building all of these years. And so as a couple we prayed fervently to know what we should do with our growing family and we received separate but parallel answers. Fred’s answer was “If you stay you will be fine and happy, but if you go your family will experience great joy”. And my answer was “follow your husband”, which for me was significant because Heavenly Father knew that as vulnerable as I was feeling, following someone that I trusted was what would make me feel the safest and secure. I felt much like the father in the scriptures who pleads with the Lord, “I believe, help thou my unbelief”.
And so here we are. By some reports, it could be said that the land is full of walls and giants. I wouldn't have chosen to do what we are doing on my own, but because I feel like we have been guided here, I made a promise to myself and to my Heavenly Father before I came. I knew that the biggest challenge for me would be to remain happy and cheerful through these experiences and that if I did not exemplify a glad heart that it would deeply affect this experience for my whole family. I have to say that there have been times where I was tempted to become discouraged to cry and mourn, but I continue to be reminded of my promise and in these last two weeks, that thought has come continually that if I give in to those temptations even the littlest bit, Satan wins and my faith is weakened. So, because of a talk I was assigned to give this week...when my laundry got drenched in the rain and I had mud all over my 5th wheel, I tried to be like Joshua and Caleb and see the positive and remember that my promised land will only be there if I do.
Family Prayer and Scripture Study
by Rachel Bloomquist - talk given in stake conference - 2005
A dear friend and I were visiting the other day, and as we watched our children play, she made an inquiry that has penetrated my thoughts since. Her question? “ Aren't you just terrified every day that your children might not make it? I was surprised and disturbed by her comment and have recently discovered that her fear is not unique among young mothers. The inquiry has remained with me and I have pondered it often since, especially in the last 3 weeks as I have prepared for this conference.
We live in a world full of temptation and sin. It would be naive and foolish to say that we should not be concerned. We have reason to be anxious and even worry as we watch our children experience challenges and face the wiles of the adversary, but I do not believe that our Father in Heaven ever intended for us to wade through parenthood, terrified and overwhelmed. We have evidence of that in the Doctrine and Covenants 30:38 when Christ promises that “...if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” and in Isaiah 54:13 we are reminded, “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord and great shall be the peace of thy children.”
So how do we ensure that our families will be prepared so that we can obtain that much sought after peace? Two of the most essential resources our Father has given us are family prayer and scripture study. The most basic, simple commandments. So simple, in fact, that oftentimes we can become, as Alma described to his son Helaman, “...slothful because of the easiness of the way...”
President John Taylor asked,
“Do you have prayers in your family? … And when you do, do you go through the operation like the grinding of a piece of machinery, or do you bow in meekness and with a sincere desire to seek the blessing of God upon you and your household? That is the way that we ought to do, and cultivate a spirit of devotion and trust in God, dedicating ourselves to him, and seeking his blessings.”
Recently, on a hurried school morning, my husband (who is the calming influence in our home) was gone. I didn't have a car and I was busily trying to get my children out the door before the bus came. I was so preoccupied with making lunches, seeing that homework was collected and assuring myself that all my children were wearing clothes that I didn't notice how late it was. When I finally looked at the clock, there weren't even minutes left. My tone turned from hurried to frantic (if you can imagine a sweet mother acting that way) and somehow I gathered everyone in seconds and in a very persuasive voice, ordered, “on your knees!” I prayed— I don’t remember what I said, but it was quick and then I rushed my most prized possessions out into the world. I would never have considered sending my children off without breakfast, but I took no thought to provide them with spiritual nourishment.
Alma, in chapter 37 gives his son Helaman and us, inspired advice when he counsels.
“O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God. Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord, yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.”
Many will appreciate, with fondness, Elder Yoshihiko Kikuchi, who has been a member of the Quorum of the Seventy since my youth. He is a tiny Brother from Japan with a hushed voice who truly understands how to pray. As a young child, the quorums of seventy were not so numerous as they are today and those brethren were given assignments in general conference more often so that they became familiar to us. I remember feeling unusual anticipation, during General Conference, whenever it was announced that Elder Kikuchi would be saying the opening or closing prayer. He had a strong accent and I had to concentrate very hard to understand his words, but never his Spirit. His was a two-way communication between a humble son and a revered, beloved Father. His prayers were a spiritual experience with his Heavenly Father and his example was a spiritual experience for me. There was nothing mechanical or habitual about that communion at the pulpit.
As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our families to become acquainted with our Father in Heaven in a way in which we understand and feel comfortable conversing with Him. Teaching our children to kneel and recite our feelings is not enough.
So how do we start the journey from habitual mechanics to a deep, two way, heartfelt dialogue with our Eternal Father? My husband and I have found that the following areas of focus have helped our family.
1. Preparation
Are we ensuring that our family has sufficient time to prepare ourselves physically and spiritually for prayer? Are we taking a few minutes to become calm and still inside. Obviously, a few seconds before the bus comes is not sufficient time.
In the wake of September 11th, we found that our children had a deep need to express their feelings, and found it very appropriate to have these discussions before family prayer. We have found that it is often effective to ask each family member what particular blessings they are feeling grateful for and if there are any special concerns within, or outside the family that we need to be aware of. When we take the time to do this we have found that our family is much more perceptive to the significance of what is really taking place. It is no coincidence that all of our meetings in the church begin with a song of reverence before a prayer is offered. Singing is also an appropriate preface to prayer in our homes. Pres. Benson has said, “Daily devotionals are ... a commendable practice, where scripture reading, singing of hymns, and family prayer are a part of our daily routine” (“Fundamentals of Enduring Family Relationships,” Ensign, Nov. 1982, 60.) When we incorporate these steps into our family prayers, we not only invite the Spirit into our homes, but we become more unified and teach our children of gratitude and our dependence on God.
2. Our Language
Are we teaching our families how much we love and respect our Heavenly Father by the language that we choose to use to address Him? Elder Dallin H. Oaks has said,
“When we go to worship in a temple or a church, we put aside our working clothes and dress ourselves in something better. This change of clothing is a mark of respect. Similarly, when we address our Heavenly Father, we should put aside our working words and clothe our prayers in special language of reverence and respect. In offering prayers in the English language, members of our Church do not address our Heavenly Father with the same words we use in speaking to a fellow worker, to an employee or employer, or to a merchant in the marketplace. We use special words that have been sanctified by use in inspired communications, words that have been recommended to us and modeled for us by those we sustain as prophets and inspired teachers. President Spencer W. Kimball said, “In all our prayers, it is well to use the pronouns thee, thou, thy, and thine instead of you, your, and yours inasmuch as they have come to indicate respect."
It has been my experience that a very young child, who is capable of simple communication, can be taught the true language of prayer, but it must be done within the home. My experiences in Primary have convinced me that if this language is not being taught in the home, it is nearly impossible to teach it without.
3. Understanding Communication
Elder N. Eldon Tanner related the following reflection.
“As I think back to when we used to kneel as a family in prayer every morning and every evening, I realize what it meant to us as children to hear our father call upon the Lord and actually talk to him, expressing his gratitude and asking for the blessings of the Lord on his crops and flocks and all of our undertakings. It always gave us greater strength to meet temptation when we remembered that we would be reporting to the Lord at night”
Are we helping our families to know our Heavenly Father in a way that it feels comfortable and natural confiding in and reporting to Him? As a youth, I had a strong testimony of the gospel, but oftentimes the resolve to make the right choices was greatly enhanced by the knowledge that at the end of the day my Dad would be lovingly waiting for me with the ever familiar question, “Are you straight?” and I could not bear the thought of disappointing him. What peace and security will come to us as parents if our family prayers are endowed with those same feelings of responsibility and respect.
That kind of respect does not come without effort on our part. As children, we learn to respect our parents and siblings as we become more aquatinted with their goodness and love. So it is with our Heavenly Father and older brother Jesus Christ. The more we. as a family, learn of them through our study of the scriptures, the more our love and respect is nurtured, enabling our family prayers to become more personal.
Establishing a consistent, effective, family study time can be challenging, to say the least, in a world where busyness seems to be the order of the day. Sacrifices may be required in order to be successful but Pres. Ezra Taft Benson gave us this promise.
“I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1980, 90; or Ensign, May 1980, 67).
The key to success is to become committed to a plan and stay consistent. Twenty-three days ago (the evening Bro. Lake called and asked me to take this assignment) we, as a family agreed that we would let nothing get in the way of family scripture study, including forgetfulness. If we retired for the night without studying, any one of us that remembered promised to get the others up to fulfill our commitment. Maybe it has been the fear of being woken at 3 AM that has encouraged us to keep our resolve, but fortunately, we have not had to resort to those early morning hours. In order to be consistent, we try to study around the same time every day. Sometimes outside influences seem to try and thwart that plan but because we each know that there is a set schedule it is easier to deny the distractions about us and it has become a time I truly look forward to.
Elder Howard W. Hunter said, “Families are greatly blessed when wise fathers and mothers bring their children about them, read from the pages of the scriptural library together, and then discuss freely the beautiful stories and thoughts according to the understanding of all.”As no two families respond identically to the same situation, no one method of gospel study will be equally suited to all. Through thoughtful, earnest prayer, and counseling together, each family can determine the best way to study the gospel.
We have 4 children between the ages of 20 months and 11 years of age. Of course, our youngest son cannot grasp the meaning of the scriptural dialogue, yet he can feel the Spirit of the message and is learning that this is an important family time. Things don’t always go smoothly. Often our patience is tested, but we have found that if we explain what is happening as we go along and foster an atmosphere that is question friendly and un-rushed, our other children are naturally attentive and inquisitive. Sometimes, as parents, we need to be reminded that this should be an enjoyable experience for our family and not a dutiful task. This does not mean that we have to entertain our children in their spiritual pursuits, but we do need to maintain a cheerful, loving atmosphere where the Spirit feels welcome.
So, in answer to my friend's question; no, I am not terrified every day that my children will not make it. My husband occasionally stumbles and I fall flat on my face often, but our loving Heavenly Father has given us the resources to prepare our families for exaltation. I’m sure my children will get bumps and bruises as they learn to make the right decisions and there will be heartaches as we watch them struggle through the trials of life, but, as stated in Alma 37:46, “the way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever.” As Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled one of his children when they wondered if they would ever make it, “Just do the very best you can each day. Do the basic things and, before you realize it, your life will be full of spiritual understanding that will confirm to you that your Heavenly Father loves you. When a person knows this, then life will be full of purpose and meaning, making balance easier to maintain.”
Do I know that family prayer and scripture study are vital? Certainly! Can I feel the difference in our home when we humbly pray to and fervently learn of the Father and Son who love us so much? Absolutely! Do I consistently do the things that I know will bring me the greatest joy? Unfortunately not! But each of us can resolve today to try harder than we have before to do the things that we would want to do if, our Savior, as our mediator with the Father, were, in the words of the primary song, standing nigh, watching over me” as he surely is.
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