"On the Tree or Under the Tree?"

Jordan is home and it feels like the holiday season for sure!  So far, he spends most of his time studying, but is here doing it, so we are all happy.  Sunday, we attended a "getting into the true spirit of the holidays" family fireside together for our stake.  The speaker was a refined lady from LDS Social Services, who I had heard speak at a marriage seminar a few years ago and was very impressed with.  We were not disappointed.  She talked about the importance of the discussion of the Tree of Life concurrent with Nephi's vision of the birth of Christ and how the meaning of Christmas is what is "on the tree" (the love of God) and not what is merely "under the tree".  It was incredibly inspiring.  Her name is Amy Curtis and she lives in Meridian, and I would encourage anyone who has administrative influence to schedule her to come and speak in your ward or stake (she also does a parenting fireside, which I haven't heard).

For F.H.E. we wrote down a list of all of our traditions (which took up a whole page) and then labeled them as "under", "on", or "could be either".  We decided to eliminate anything that fit more in the "under" category and are making changes to things that could go either way, so they will fit "on" the tree.  It was so refreshing and motivating and freeing.  We also adopted a new tradition, going against years of family tradition,  of playing Christmas music starting the week of Thanksgiving, instead of the day after.  I was the only one who wanted to stick with the old ways and because my only reasoning was "tradition!", I was voted down.  I am more than happy to concede, but our tree will still not be going up until Friday.

Tomorrow will be a memorable day in the kitchen with my children and Thursday, a much anticipated day with extended family.  Friday will be home fires and mistletoe and symbolic "chestnuts roasting" (we tried the real thing last year and they were quite disgusting! :)  What a beautiful time of year!

Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow Mom and Dad.  And Happy Thanksgiving in 2 days to Larsen's, Ben and Renee, Josh and Becky,  Joseph and Camille, and Hyrum and Desi who will all be somewhere other than with us on Thursday.  We will miss you profoundly.  I love you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDEN!

THE GIFT IS A GO!

 STYLIN'

DOGPILE, TRICKS AND QUALITY SIBLING TIME

Missing Pieces

We attended another missionary farewell today.  Most of these young friends of Jordan's are now either preparing to fill out papers, are in the process of doing so, or are waiting  for calls; a few are in the mission field. It is such an exciting time for these boys that we love.

I was again reminded, during the meeting, that I need to come up with different Sunday hairdo's for the twins so I don't end up with curls and puffs and pompadours constantly in my face.  When they are sitting on my lap the backs of their heads are at the exact height of my nose and mouth and it's hard to concentrate and not be distracting, when I'm constantly ducking and dodging.

I have been feeling a disturbing "sense of waste" lately, like I'm picking my goals out of a hat each day.  It must be this motherhood transition, having a few more hours to myself and not being organized or disciplined enough to use them effectively.  The time goes by so quickly, but it seems like I should be accomplishing so much more than I am.  I have the desire and the capacity to be "up and doing", to be engaged full throttle in making a difference, but my focus and sense of purpose has blurred.  With first and last children venturing off well worn paths I seem to have lost my sense of direction and am now running in circles at the crossroads, waiting for some kind of signpost to get me back on course.  Jordan didn't call last night.  He calls EVERY Sunday.  We tried to get him on the phone and the computer, but were never successful.  I went to bed sad and worried;  feeling like a part of me was missing......  And the answer is always the same, "forget yourself, and go to work!" and so I will.

SUNDAY MORNING

LILY JUMPING IN THE RAIN

SOPHIE BEING AN ODD DUCK

ANGEL EYES

Party 'Til We Drop

I love celebrating, but a party every day for a week is a little overwhelming; I couldn't keep up. We spent ALL day Saturday cleaning up our badly neglected home and had to postpone our traditional Bloomquist Harvest party until last night for F.H.E. Fred's traditional Jeopardy game was a hit as usual. One of the column headings this year was, "Jordan's Driving School", so he was present even though he wasn't. We tried papaya for the first time and Mikayla is the only one who put it in her mouth and didn't head for the sink. Majority voted a big, NO on that Harvest Basket addition. There was a big, cumulative thumbs up for the coconut, grapes, pineapple, and kiwis. We also had a mango, which we have all tried before and some of us like with salt and chili powder, but this year it was bruised and overripe, so none of us enjoyed that this time around. Mikayla wants to try plantains next year. Not extremely excited about that adventure, but its tradition!

Ben and Renee's Harvest party on Friday was such a fun, festive way to start the holiday season. My children loved being with cousins; and having access to so many fun things to do. I didn't get to visit as much as I had hoped because there was a full agenda and we were all so busy taking care of kids, but I'm hoping lots of family will be around for Thanksgiving so we can get our fill of just sitting around talking.

t was nice to be able to sit and visit with Josh and Becky on Saturday night, after their stake conference session and all of the kids were in bed. Their children stayed to here to play and it was a wild and crazy cousin party for the first hour with 12 kids (what I always wanted) running through this 1500 square foot house. The activity level was only compounded by my procrastination at getting my Harvest gifts ready to deliver, so my kids headed out too close to "trick or treating" time, which gets confusing since half of the people we deliver to don't celebrate Halloween and don't answer their doors after 5:00. It also created a bit of mayhem at the front door as my children were running in and out delivering to immediate neighbors and trying to load everyone into the car to deliver to other friends, and the Jones children were filling the entrance "investigating" all the hubbub and the neighbor children were descending en masse on our front doorstep. There were sweet, innocent little people in charming costumes being jumbled and jostled about by too many older youth and teens who were anything but sweet and innocent looking and as so often happens on that night, my emotions started churning with the whole moral dilemma of trying not to be an anti social Grinch and at the same time keep the influence of the "world" at bay and as almost always happens I quickly lost on both fronts. After only 40 minutes I reached the "internal conflict" breaking point, and immediately shuffled all my little "wards" back inside and away from the front door and windows and grumpily turned off the porch lights and bolted myself inside. With emotions threatening to spill out and the pressure not to let them in front of all these eager, excited children who are luckily not feeling the same things, I tried to contain them in the back of the house, away from the door, which continued to ring. Amidst all of that, Ashtyn started crying (the kind that propels you into panicked action) from upstairs. Someone had turned on the ceiling fan and she had climbed to the top of Abe's very tall bunk bed, where the blades and her little forehead collided. She had a cut and a nasty goose egg by the time I got to her and the poor little girl was beside herself. I brought her into the kitchen, yelling for Fred and she just lay in his arms while I made an ice pack and held it on her head. When we finally got the swelling to go down and she was able to stop crying, Fred tried to cheer her up by giving her a big ice cube to suck on. I didn't think that was the greatest idea but when I tried to take it away from her she became possessive and I wasn't about to traumatize her again. At that point I thought it was probably a good idea to settle things down so I gave directions for everyone to get in their pajamas so we could start a "movie party". The drama of the incident had already gathered and subdued the hive of activity so there was instant obedience. I took Ashtyn into the twins room to help her undress, as she still needed TLC, and since her ice cube was starting to drip, I went back into the kitchen (8 feet away) to get her a glass and didn't make it back before she was screaming again. This time, she had somehow managed to wedge the ice cube, lengthwise between her upper and lower teeth (like Cinderella's Gus). I tried to dislodge it, but I couldn't get it to budge in any direction for a good couple of minutes, which felt like an eternity to both of us. It finally started to melt from the warmth of my hands and I was able to take it out, but not before we were both a little traumatized. By that time all the other children were dressed down and we started the movie, which they all seemed to enjoy, while I continued cleaning. The instant the movie was over it was like someone had pushed the energy button and I became a little faint hearted :) and immediately succumbed to the double feature-so-they-are-easily-contained rule for negligent mothers. Most were easily convinced and the few who weren't, played together nicely in the upstairs bedrooms, so I was able to accomplish everything that needed to be done to prepare for Sunday. I know Josh and Becky had a nice time and we were so happy to have their sweet children here, but under the chaotic circumstances they may all have Bloomquist scars for life! :)

Compared to that eventful weekend the following happenings of the week, which seemed momentous at the time, seem to have lost some of their impact:

1. I finally finished all 800+ pages of Ivanhoe! Glad I read it--glad to be done.
2. We are losing a councilor in our stake YW presidency to a ward calling during a week in which my president just lost her father in law. Both changes were completely unexpected and I think we are all struggling with the different implications.
3. Saturday afternoon, 15 minutes after Sophie discovered that her tooth seemed a little loose, it disappeared with a drink of water.  She was completely traumatized by perfectly good body parts, unexpectedly falling off and by the image appearing in the mirror which, with big tears in her eyes, she deemed "creepy".  We had to have a family therapy session for the next few hours and finally coaxed her out of depression by the anticipation of "the tooth fairy" and her involvement in drawing a picture to explain why there would be no tooth to trade.  Her fragile self image has  been restored and now Lily is eagerly looking forward to the day that she gets "a green dollar".  Losing a tooth at 5 is awfully young for my kids, but they are twins :) so we shall see.

"That about sums it up for me".

TREK

Time for solitude (reading personal letter delivered by "Pony Express" and journaling)

My Trek Sons - Silently...and emotionally watching the Women's Pull

Eden - Age 12

Square Dancing

Mikayla - Resting on the trail

"Breathe Pops, Breathe"

Becky called me Tuesday, wondering if I was alright because my blog still wasn't posted.  She said that when she's not happy, she doesn't write or at least her words are few.  She's very sweet and thoughtful, but I assured her that I was just very busy and have never been prone to keeping ANYTHING inside, much to the chagrin of those around me ;)

Today is Eden's birthday.  She is 14 and will be going to her first, very much anticipated, Saturday night dance...so will I! :)  It's my month to chaperone, but unfortunately I no longer have a babysitter, so I will be chaperoning without a husband, which "doesn't thrill me at all".  Fred, I think, will be happy to stay home and avoid being pulled continuously onto the dance floor--which he is a fairly good sport about, but which he loathes.  I think it will be fun for the girls to be there together.  I am looking forward to meeting all of Eden's friend boys and showing them my "big boots"!  I think a little dose of "mother fear" is always healthy for young men. :)

I am taking a break from the rush, rush of life because I promised Mom and Dad that I would write and because it's the way I clear my head........and because I know that as soon as I finish this "responsibility" I have to start baking a cheescake, making pizza dough and pretzels, clean Eden's room for her and walk my dog (and I hear the wind howling, ominously in the trees).

The stresses of my life are often ironic.  For the past month I have been working on a message for our stake auxiliary training.  For the past two weeks I have been studying and praying and writing.  For the past 2 days I have been so immersed that Fred has done the cleaning and Mikayla has made dinner.  I've gone to the temple and diligently prepared the message that I know was needed, but because of poor planning on my part (I asked for some class input that was meant to be brief but wasn't), my allotted time was gone before I could share anything but the briefest overview and my testimony.  It was a nice night.  I finished when I was supposed to, so the other speakers were able to share their full messages and the leaders were "fed", but all these thoughts and words of the prophets were left bottled up inside me.  They were needful things, that necessitated being shared and I let less vital things impeach upon them.  It wasn't the participants faults; I wasn't specific when I said I wanted the comments to be brief, and they just added up.  The sisters were fulfilling an assignment, that I had given and they had good things to say.  It's just that 20 minutes is such a limited amount of time.  I came home last night and cried, just a little.  There will be chances to teach what needed taught in other ways, at other times, but it's hard to finally breathe free and easy and feel that sweet peace that comes after you have prepared so hard and then shared what you knew you should.  It feels like holding your breath and then, instead of inhaling that one refreshing gasp of air, you are constrained to take slight sips.  Of course I'll be fine, just a little anoxic for awhile. :)

Fred, on the other hand, may be anoxic for such an extended period of time that brain damage may be imminent.  With his administrative hand he is supposed to be preparing an impressive presentation about the Stevens-Henager program and then find, invite (and ensure the attendance of) prestigious members of the community who have no affiliation to the school and will not be monetarily compensated for their attendance.  He is also required to attend a conference in Texas during the first week of December, during which time his Teacher hand must turn in grades which include finals and student term papers which are due the day before he leaves.  He drinks maalox like water, but the outer vessel is  "steady as the beating drum".  He shrugs it off when I tell him it's a talent.  Maybe it's a gift.  Whatever it is, it blesses our lives-- I think he's still waiting for it to feel like its blessing his! :)

Sunday Jordan comes home for a week and we will have 5 days just for family, where not a single other thing is on my calendar.  Those days make all of the craziness of daily life worth it.  I love my husband and my children.  They are kind and good and patient and forgiving.  They make this neurotic, judgmental, over emotional, inconsistent, hard headed, temperamental, unruly spirit of mine  feel like I have purpose and potential and maybe even hope.  C.S. Lewis once said, "I'm not sure that God particularly wants us to be happy.  I think He wants us to be able to love and be loved.  He wants us to grow up."  I disagree.  I think God absolutely wants us to be happy, but He knows it's only possible, bit by bit, as we "grow up".  Pain, in all it's many faces, is just an uncomfortable accelerator.


Playing "Doggie Doggie, Whose Got Your Bones" for F.H.E.

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