A son returning from an honorable mission, a family vacation, General Conference and the Temple Open House all packed into less than two weeks time makes for some incredible experiences. My mind has been racing, my heart pounding each day with the need to digest everything that I am feeling, to get it down on paper so I can spread it all around me in neat, organized piles and keep it safe and close and permanent, but I haven't made room for that daily opportunity and now I am afraid that with it all jumbled up in my head, and with all of the emotions mixed together, that I may have lost that tidy, literal record and most of the important things will remain in a tight knot in my heart, but I will try to make some sense here of the tumbling.
For those who were able to make it to the airport and our home, on the 2nd to welcome Jordan back--thank you! I was so wrapped up in being with all of you and savoring the anticipation of the big event that, ironically, I wasn't ready when Jordan came walking off the plane a few minutes early. The well laid plans of holding up our signs and greeting him with a wall of loved ones ended up more like frantic chaos when the shout went out that he was coming. I don't even know who made it to him first, as I didn't have on my glasses and it took me a few searching minutes for me to find that familiar face in the masses, but I know it wasn't me! What I do know it that when I finally found him, I was glad that no one was in my running path because I may have, inadvertently, knocked them over.=) It's an overwhelmingly joyful thing to have your children come back home--from anywhere, but coming back from a mission is special. We were literally gathered around him for hours, which included following him from room to room because he was having a hard time staying put.=) Every half hour he'd check his watch, wondering how close it was to his scheduled release with the stake president, not wanting to be late. It was really difficult for him not to have any place where he needed to go and we arrived at the stake center early because he just couldn't sit still.
Every time I am with our stake president I am impressed with his spiritual demeanor, his personal sensitivity to the individual and with his capacity to imbue meaning into the briefest of encounters. Fred's missionary release 23 years ago was not a good experience. His stake president had asked for his badge and his missionary handbook and then told him he was no longer a missionary--short and not so sweet--more like the firing scene in Mary Poppins--so he had tried to prepare Jordan mentally for hard things. He needn't have worried. Pres. Evans called Jordan into his office alone and talked with him for over 20 minutes, then he called us in. I could tell by Jordan's face that the personal exchange had been precious. With us now in the room, he was given a formal and powerful release and then told that it was up to him when and how he would like to take off his missionary badge, but until that time he expected Jordan to act like a full-time missionary in every way. That passing of responsibility was not expected and was profoundly inspired, but emotionally agonizing. I looked back at Jordan as we were driving home and he had tears literally streaming down his face. Such hard things! When we got home Jordan called everyone together and asked if we could have a family prayer, after which he took off that precious nameplate. We are so proud of him for the way he has served. Jordan has always taken to change like breathing, so, not surprisingly, his readjustment has been graceful, except for one cute transitional story. The day after he returned I took him out to buy him some new "civilian" clothes. He was taking awhile in the dressing room, so I walked around to some of the areas close by, browsing. Eventually he came out and when he found me an aisle away he said,a little panicked, "Where were you? I was lonely!" Just a tiny bit of companion withdrawal there, but it was cute. He is stir crazy and motivated to fill his days with meaningful things so he spends much of his time looking for jobs and researching career fields. I spend much of his time sharing the character traits of the perfect girl that I have found for him.=) Now just to convince him............and the girl.=) It is so good to have him home! There is a joy and energy back in our home that has been missing--a hole that only he can fill. It seems to be that way when any of our children leave for an extended period. They each are so unique in what they add to our family. I have had some happy days watching my children buzzing around each other like a happy hive. I know these together days are short and I am just soaking them in.
Monday, October 22
Conference weekend in Salt Lake was such a sweet experience. The timing was impeccable. Packed into a car for hours of driving, into a little hotel room, sleeping on each other and literally connected in long chains all over temple square so we didn't get separated, forced us to be welded together and since we wanted nothing more, and the circumstances demanded it, I couldn't have planned family time with Jordan in a more appropriate environment. They were happy, cozy days! We tried to get into the conference center by the "approved", traditional method of standing in line for tabernacle buttons and then sitting in stand-by seating, but that never worked, even though we noticed quite a few empty seats during the broadcasted shots. The method is not very efficient and our family came up with a much better plan while we were there that we should submit to Salt Lake.=) However, Jordan and Abe were able to get into the conference center for the Priesthood session and the rest of us got to go in on Sunday morning. Jordan and Abrahm stood in line with those of us who had Sunday tickets, until we got to the doors, and then we had to separate, which almost broke my heart, and which I immediately saw an object lesson in, but I knew I had to make the most of it so I deliberately focused on explaining every little thing to Sophie and Lily to get my mind off of who was missing. They were all ears and so interested, but as I finally sat back in my seat, waiting for the prophet to walk in, the majesty of what was happening in that very room overwhelmed me emotionally. The Spirit was so strong. I had talked to Becky the day before and she had shared that she felt like she could feel the Spirit just as strongly in her home during conference, which I absolutely agree with, but there is something special that happens to me when I am in actual places. I felt it powerfully on trek because we were actually at Martin's Cove and that same feeling encompassed me as I looked down and could see the twelve apostles in person. I am a tangible, tactile person and history plays such a big part of the present for me. I felt so blessed to be there in person when Elder Holland and the prophet both spoke. My emotions raged during Elder Hollands talk and I was going through Kleenex at alarming rates and then Pres. Monson spoke and calmed the waters, literally. =) I talked to Mikayla about the dramatically different ways in which the Spirit can speak to us. Elder Holland has the capacity to direct the Spirit to compel me to action and because my body has to sit still while he speaks my insides are whirling. The prophet has honed the gift of charity and so the Spirit always speaks to me, through him, in soft and charitable ways and makes me feel, "peace, be still". If tickets weren't so incredibly hard to come by I would love to make conference in SLC a family tradition, but I think it will have to be a beautiful memory for awhile. The protesters were horrendously disturbing, but ironically their presence makes your awareness of the Spirit so much more profound as you have to walk through the shouting to get through any gate on temple square and then, within steps, become aware of the drastic difference. I am sad for those who are so disillusioned, but without their knowing it they are actually making a difference...for good. There were people begging everywhere. I never carry cash, but I wouldn't have given it out if I did because I have become calloused and cynical from bad experiences and specifically when Fred and I both recognized some of them as people who were there begging from our trip four years ago. My sweet, older children didn't let that stop them and gave their own cash anyway. They will be blessed for their good hearts and sweet intentions, no matter how deserved or undeserved that money is--I can back that up with scripture.
A HUGE change that came from that weekend, but which has been kept small because that's who Mikayla is, has been her decision to serve a full time mission. Her answer came in a sweet and quiet moment, which I will let her share on her own, but she is poised to start filling out her paperwork. We are leaving all of the timing completely in her hands as this is an opportunity and a choice, but not a commandment. She has been such an inspired and sincere missionary among her peers here that I wasn't sure if she would feel the desire to go "out" into the field. She has always had a strong desire for adventure and a need to make a difference, but that first desire is not the right reason to serve a mission. She knows that and she has been cautious in making this decision. She knows that she is much more likely to be called to Podunk, Nevada (a real place=) than to some exotic place like Machu Pichu, but she has other plans for that goal and wants to go for the right reasons so we are excited for her and for our family and honestly a little parentaly terrified, but we'll get over that..........eventually........mostly.
I have loved hearing about Mom and Dad's temple open house experiences. I would have loved to have the opportunity to serve in that way, but our family was able to go to the first day of the Open House and it is beautiful. Preston Pruett and his wife were our guides, so that was incredibly special. He said his father went through the temple during the VIP tours. I think of his family often--especially his mother, who is an inspiration to me. I would love to go through again during a talking tour with just Fred. We were each quietly explaining things to our children during our initial tour so we didn't get to "be" together, but I would like to linger just a little more.
Yesterday, after Jordan finished his homecoming talk, a ward member offered him and the return missionary who spoke with him, both jobs. He is now working approx. 60 hour weeks, which is such a blessing for him. He is putting up Christmas lights and the job should be steady until about 2 weeks before Christmas, which is perfect timing for his circumstances. Mikayla is still working at Syngenta but those hours will start fading soon as the seasonal work gets finished, but blessings never cease and Renee has offered her some research work for her charter school grant project so her time is filled in productive ways as well. She says she feels like Mrs. Packman--she's just keeps going through the endless maze, trying to get enough power points to win the prizes. She is so much cuter than Mrs. Packman, however, and the prizes are accordingly more rewarding, so it's all good!
Tuesday, October 30
The Harvest party was an incredible occasion! Thank you Ben and Renee for hosting such crazy, bonding, organized chaos. It is a highlight of my children's year, and mine. I love being all together in that bubbling environment. I am looking forward to our, now comparatively little, immediate family Harvest party on Wednesday. Fred is working on his jeopardy game and it is another rare night to have all of my children together just for fun. My home feels full to bursting with happiness. Now, if I could just get Jordan married to the right girl (who happens to be at college right now and doesn't even know that she's been mother earmarked=) then I will be ecstatic. Being around sweet, little Katelyn and crazy, little Braden on Saturday made my "Grandma" wishes stronger than ever!=)
I am looking so forward to Thanksgiving in the mountains and more extended family time. These bonds are so precious and encompass all the reason for becoming.
I haven't wanted to miss out on a second of life and have neglected taking pictures of all of this amazing last month and now I am sorry. I'm hoping there are a few photos that others have taken that I can eventually acquire, but for now I only have one, solitary offering and it's not even digitally sound. It does, however speak for the overall, cumulative feeling of the last four weeks.
Every time I get almost done, something comes us and I have to quit before I publish. Then more of life happens which necessitates addendum's Subsequently, this submission is becoming archaic, which is alright for journaling, but not much fun for reading...sorry Mom and Dad.=)
For those who were able to make it to the airport and our home, on the 2nd to welcome Jordan back--thank you! I was so wrapped up in being with all of you and savoring the anticipation of the big event that, ironically, I wasn't ready when Jordan came walking off the plane a few minutes early. The well laid plans of holding up our signs and greeting him with a wall of loved ones ended up more like frantic chaos when the shout went out that he was coming. I don't even know who made it to him first, as I didn't have on my glasses and it took me a few searching minutes for me to find that familiar face in the masses, but I know it wasn't me! What I do know it that when I finally found him, I was glad that no one was in my running path because I may have, inadvertently, knocked them over.=) It's an overwhelmingly joyful thing to have your children come back home--from anywhere, but coming back from a mission is special. We were literally gathered around him for hours, which included following him from room to room because he was having a hard time staying put.=) Every half hour he'd check his watch, wondering how close it was to his scheduled release with the stake president, not wanting to be late. It was really difficult for him not to have any place where he needed to go and we arrived at the stake center early because he just couldn't sit still.
Every time I am with our stake president I am impressed with his spiritual demeanor, his personal sensitivity to the individual and with his capacity to imbue meaning into the briefest of encounters. Fred's missionary release 23 years ago was not a good experience. His stake president had asked for his badge and his missionary handbook and then told him he was no longer a missionary--short and not so sweet--more like the firing scene in Mary Poppins--so he had tried to prepare Jordan mentally for hard things. He needn't have worried. Pres. Evans called Jordan into his office alone and talked with him for over 20 minutes, then he called us in. I could tell by Jordan's face that the personal exchange had been precious. With us now in the room, he was given a formal and powerful release and then told that it was up to him when and how he would like to take off his missionary badge, but until that time he expected Jordan to act like a full-time missionary in every way. That passing of responsibility was not expected and was profoundly inspired, but emotionally agonizing. I looked back at Jordan as we were driving home and he had tears literally streaming down his face. Such hard things! When we got home Jordan called everyone together and asked if we could have a family prayer, after which he took off that precious nameplate. We are so proud of him for the way he has served. Jordan has always taken to change like breathing, so, not surprisingly, his readjustment has been graceful, except for one cute transitional story. The day after he returned I took him out to buy him some new "civilian" clothes. He was taking awhile in the dressing room, so I walked around to some of the areas close by, browsing. Eventually he came out and when he found me an aisle away he said,a little panicked, "Where were you? I was lonely!" Just a tiny bit of companion withdrawal there, but it was cute. He is stir crazy and motivated to fill his days with meaningful things so he spends much of his time looking for jobs and researching career fields. I spend much of his time sharing the character traits of the perfect girl that I have found for him.=) Now just to convince him............and the girl.=) It is so good to have him home! There is a joy and energy back in our home that has been missing--a hole that only he can fill. It seems to be that way when any of our children leave for an extended period. They each are so unique in what they add to our family. I have had some happy days watching my children buzzing around each other like a happy hive. I know these together days are short and I am just soaking them in.
Monday, October 22
Conference weekend in Salt Lake was such a sweet experience. The timing was impeccable. Packed into a car for hours of driving, into a little hotel room, sleeping on each other and literally connected in long chains all over temple square so we didn't get separated, forced us to be welded together and since we wanted nothing more, and the circumstances demanded it, I couldn't have planned family time with Jordan in a more appropriate environment. They were happy, cozy days! We tried to get into the conference center by the "approved", traditional method of standing in line for tabernacle buttons and then sitting in stand-by seating, but that never worked, even though we noticed quite a few empty seats during the broadcasted shots. The method is not very efficient and our family came up with a much better plan while we were there that we should submit to Salt Lake.=) However, Jordan and Abe were able to get into the conference center for the Priesthood session and the rest of us got to go in on Sunday morning. Jordan and Abrahm stood in line with those of us who had Sunday tickets, until we got to the doors, and then we had to separate, which almost broke my heart, and which I immediately saw an object lesson in, but I knew I had to make the most of it so I deliberately focused on explaining every little thing to Sophie and Lily to get my mind off of who was missing. They were all ears and so interested, but as I finally sat back in my seat, waiting for the prophet to walk in, the majesty of what was happening in that very room overwhelmed me emotionally. The Spirit was so strong. I had talked to Becky the day before and she had shared that she felt like she could feel the Spirit just as strongly in her home during conference, which I absolutely agree with, but there is something special that happens to me when I am in actual places. I felt it powerfully on trek because we were actually at Martin's Cove and that same feeling encompassed me as I looked down and could see the twelve apostles in person. I am a tangible, tactile person and history plays such a big part of the present for me. I felt so blessed to be there in person when Elder Holland and the prophet both spoke. My emotions raged during Elder Hollands talk and I was going through Kleenex at alarming rates and then Pres. Monson spoke and calmed the waters, literally. =) I talked to Mikayla about the dramatically different ways in which the Spirit can speak to us. Elder Holland has the capacity to direct the Spirit to compel me to action and because my body has to sit still while he speaks my insides are whirling. The prophet has honed the gift of charity and so the Spirit always speaks to me, through him, in soft and charitable ways and makes me feel, "peace, be still". If tickets weren't so incredibly hard to come by I would love to make conference in SLC a family tradition, but I think it will have to be a beautiful memory for awhile. The protesters were horrendously disturbing, but ironically their presence makes your awareness of the Spirit so much more profound as you have to walk through the shouting to get through any gate on temple square and then, within steps, become aware of the drastic difference. I am sad for those who are so disillusioned, but without their knowing it they are actually making a difference...for good. There were people begging everywhere. I never carry cash, but I wouldn't have given it out if I did because I have become calloused and cynical from bad experiences and specifically when Fred and I both recognized some of them as people who were there begging from our trip four years ago. My sweet, older children didn't let that stop them and gave their own cash anyway. They will be blessed for their good hearts and sweet intentions, no matter how deserved or undeserved that money is--I can back that up with scripture.
A HUGE change that came from that weekend, but which has been kept small because that's who Mikayla is, has been her decision to serve a full time mission. Her answer came in a sweet and quiet moment, which I will let her share on her own, but she is poised to start filling out her paperwork. We are leaving all of the timing completely in her hands as this is an opportunity and a choice, but not a commandment. She has been such an inspired and sincere missionary among her peers here that I wasn't sure if she would feel the desire to go "out" into the field. She has always had a strong desire for adventure and a need to make a difference, but that first desire is not the right reason to serve a mission. She knows that and she has been cautious in making this decision. She knows that she is much more likely to be called to Podunk, Nevada (a real place=) than to some exotic place like Machu Pichu, but she has other plans for that goal and wants to go for the right reasons so we are excited for her and for our family and honestly a little parentaly terrified, but we'll get over that..........eventually........mostly.
I have loved hearing about Mom and Dad's temple open house experiences. I would have loved to have the opportunity to serve in that way, but our family was able to go to the first day of the Open House and it is beautiful. Preston Pruett and his wife were our guides, so that was incredibly special. He said his father went through the temple during the VIP tours. I think of his family often--especially his mother, who is an inspiration to me. I would love to go through again during a talking tour with just Fred. We were each quietly explaining things to our children during our initial tour so we didn't get to "be" together, but I would like to linger just a little more.
Yesterday, after Jordan finished his homecoming talk, a ward member offered him and the return missionary who spoke with him, both jobs. He is now working approx. 60 hour weeks, which is such a blessing for him. He is putting up Christmas lights and the job should be steady until about 2 weeks before Christmas, which is perfect timing for his circumstances. Mikayla is still working at Syngenta but those hours will start fading soon as the seasonal work gets finished, but blessings never cease and Renee has offered her some research work for her charter school grant project so her time is filled in productive ways as well. She says she feels like Mrs. Packman--she's just keeps going through the endless maze, trying to get enough power points to win the prizes. She is so much cuter than Mrs. Packman, however, and the prizes are accordingly more rewarding, so it's all good!
Tuesday, October 30
The Harvest party was an incredible occasion! Thank you Ben and Renee for hosting such crazy, bonding, organized chaos. It is a highlight of my children's year, and mine. I love being all together in that bubbling environment. I am looking forward to our, now comparatively little, immediate family Harvest party on Wednesday. Fred is working on his jeopardy game and it is another rare night to have all of my children together just for fun. My home feels full to bursting with happiness. Now, if I could just get Jordan married to the right girl (who happens to be at college right now and doesn't even know that she's been mother earmarked=) then I will be ecstatic. Being around sweet, little Katelyn and crazy, little Braden on Saturday made my "Grandma" wishes stronger than ever!=)
I am looking so forward to Thanksgiving in the mountains and more extended family time. These bonds are so precious and encompass all the reason for becoming.
I haven't wanted to miss out on a second of life and have neglected taking pictures of all of this amazing last month and now I am sorry. I'm hoping there are a few photos that others have taken that I can eventually acquire, but for now I only have one, solitary offering and it's not even digitally sound. It does, however speak for the overall, cumulative feeling of the last four weeks.
Every time I get almost done, something comes us and I have to quit before I publish. Then more of life happens which necessitates addendum's Subsequently, this submission is becoming archaic, which is alright for journaling, but not much fun for reading...sorry Mom and Dad.=)
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| It's all worth it! |
