Do you ever have one of those days where the weight of trying to keep your head above water against the beating of the worldly waves collides with the brutal forces of nature and outright warfare against your children? I know, they don't all usually happen at the same time and I can usually keep my wits about me, but yesterday........!
In the afternoon, I answered the phone and was greeted by the voice of a frantic mother who said, "I've felt impressed that I should call you." The last time that happened I had just been called to be in the stake YW and had not yet been sustained and was heartbroken and overwhelmed and couldn't talk about it with anyone outside my family. A friends inspired visit gave me the assurance that Heavenly Father is mindful of our hearts and cares about us through others, even when they don't know the reasons. So, I selfishly racked my brain for what could possibly be wrong with me that I needed that help. Aren't our minds funny; well, mine is (or maybe "warped, frustrated" would be more accurate). This lady was in my ward previously, before we split, but we were only casual acquaintances. She proceeded to tell me about some overtly disturbing curriculum that was being taught to her 6th grade son in middle school and she wanted to know what she should do. Unfortunately, my first thought was, "I barely even know you, how should I know what you should do", but the second that unkind thought, which I am afraid tells volumes about my true character, entered my mind, another thought, not my own, came into my mind; "you know exactly what to do, you've been down this road before". I got all the information that I could from her, gave her my opinion about what I would do for the remainder of the week, gave her some guidance where to take her concerns and reassured her that I would also go to administration and support her efforts all the way, and then immediately had this wave of intense self guilt come over me as I realized that Eden had been subjected to this curriculum the year before, and had given me all of the warning signs of needing to be rescued, and I had somehow overlooked her pleadings. For someone who fights more than my children are sometimes comfortable with, over things far less offensive, I felt so negligent and remorseful. Such a heavy burden! I kept thinking, "it was so obvious, how could I have let that slide?" and I realized that I had refused to listen and believe because I was trying to protect my personal,safe, sheltered shell.
I immediately called Fred to steady me, and though he tried to sauve my conscience, he was incensed and added fuel to the already stoked fire. When Eden came home I apologized profusely for my mother inattentiveness and found that she had definitely sustained some wounds and was pleased to see the warriors gearing up, though very tardy, and armed me with information and suggestions. I felt shaky all day-- Surely I am not the only one familiar with the physical consequences of unchecked mother furry, but I hope the "kindred spirits" are few and far between.
At 7:30 Jordan, up snowboarding at Bogus, called me from ski patrol to tell me that he had landed a jump with his face and was obligated by their legal guidelines to call because he was a minor. He assured me that he was fine and then ski patrol got on the line and said that his face was so swollen that they couldn't tell if his nose was broken, but "hey, it's better than him sitting home playing video games." He was up there with a large group of friends, and since he had fallen after only his 3rd run, there was a long interim, waiting for the rest of the guys to finish skiing, before he could come home. He showed up around 10PM and I don't know if it was just the shock of seeing his face, or the fact that it was Jordan and the emotions that are so on the surface about him lately, or the emotionally draining day previous, but I became so lightheaded and physically nauseous that I had to sit down with my head between my legs and then all of the emotions erupted like a damned waterfall prying loose and my son, who should have been the one being nurtured, sat beside me and rubbed my back while I sobbed my heart out. I just couldn't compose my emotions and it turned to hyperventilation and Fred had to step in so that I could breathe. It was humiliating. I'm glad that all of my younger children were in bed, and I wish that I could say that the rest of my family were in shock from my behavior, but they took it, much to my chagrin, quite in stride.
I'm better now. It's a new day, and rest, though fitful, has helped me focus and I am trading in the emotional oppression of yesterday for the weapons of Narnia today. Today I feel like Peter; "For Aslaaaan!"
So now, because someone, who doesn't know the ropes needs my help, and because I have younger children coming up through the system and because I feel duty bound to stand up where I was remiss before, I will add another "fight" to my war board. And with Fred screening out the emotional fanaticism and installing diplomacy, like he has in all of my battles, we will make a difference. I won't try--"I will go and do"!
Oh, and if anyone is still reading after all of that ranting, which I highly doubt since my writing isn't often reader worthy -- it's more organize-my-thoughts-therapy oriented, the curriculum is concerning very detailed study of the Mayan and pirate cultures, and you don't really want to know more than that. I certainly didn't! The objective? I have no idea, but I can assure you I will find out and there will be change. Does that sound haughty and conceited? I'm sure it does but these wars are never meant to be prideful, I just have to psyche myself up to be courageous enough to remember that one person can always make positive change with the right help and that people are just people, no matter what title we hold. And, most people want to do what is right, but get off course and need redirecting. Don't we all! Wish me luck!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Merry-Go-Round
I worry about Abrahm a lot. He's always been such an independent child; happy to be on his own and always quietly wandering off. Because of that and because he's in the middle of two very boisterous, high maintenance groups of children he is often unintentionally neglected. I'm sure that often he thinks that is to his benefit as he is often playing outside with friends for awhile before I realize that he hasn't yet done his responsibilities. I most often worry about him in the evenings. I'm always so busy trying to get the twins down and then bouncing from teen to teen with concerns or plans or questions or their need to chat that by the time I make it up to Abe he has read himself a story and fallen asleep. He doesn't act like a neglected child but he is so lovingly expressive that I have that mother guilt about not being more attentive to the wheel that never squeaks. Thursday night my concerns came to a head. As is very common, I found a "love" note from Abe in my bedroom, when I finally made it there. The note was written at the bottom of a drawing of the fantasy blueprints for his future home. It was more like an enormous, modern castle with pool, game, and t.v. rooms, servants, 20 extra bedrooms etc., but what caught my eye most was the bedroom labeling. One for him, one for his friend next door, and at the opposite side of the house, two separate bedrooms which were labeled "wife #1", "wife #2". I questioned Abe about it in the morning, and he didn't see any reason for concern, so I said, "Abe, you know that having more than one wife is illegal, right?!" He was completely enlightened by that knowledge, so I went on, "Abe, you know that for now and unless specifically commanded, it is also against Heavenly Fathers law too, right?!" That also seemed to be a revelation to him, so I went ahead and explained, that it was also definitely against our family rules. Unfazed, as if he had just learned a fact out of an encyclopedia, he took the paper and erased the labels, leaving only wife #1. For an eight year old boy, who has more factual information in his head than all of the rest of us, excluding Fred, put together, he has missed picking up on a few important facts. Now I am worried about what else he has missed, and our born again Christian neighbors apprehensive behaviors toward us are all becoming clearer to me;-)
I am yearning for the sun! All these gray, cloudy skies, and this cold that burrows in, are draining my motivation for being "up and doing". It's only January and I want to be digging in the dirt, with the sun pelting my back, but I have to work up the courage just to open the sliding glass door to give Olive her breakfast in the morning;-) I think we're all feeling a little couped up, except Abe, of course. We're not much of a cold weather kind of family I guess, unless there is snow. That must be why we're going though books like water. Even Jordan, who has 102 other things to be doing is reading of his own accord, and Fred is reading "Song of Years"(my all time favorite book since I was 14). It's not a "Fred" kind of book, so I was surprised when he asked me where it was. He said he just wanted to see what it was that I've loved so much all these years. Is that sweet or what. We've seen "Fireproof" twice on the big screen now and I think he's putting thoughts into action. I need to follow his selfless example and do something just because Fred loves it, and not because I have something else personal to gain. He's a good husband.
Mikayla and Eden have spent the last month trying to slowly "grow up" their bedroom. Most of their "sweet, and innocent" decorations have been passed down to Lily and Sophie's bedroom, and their room has become a work in progress of bright colors and chrome accents. Because decorations are so expensive and their room was so suddenly too juvenile, it is going through one of those teen awkward stages. It's a rude awakening to me that Jordan isn't the only one who is getting older much too quickly. It is a rare Saturday that goes by that simultaneous giggling, shrieking and all manner of "bed crack stuffing" isn't heard through those teenage walls. I don't know where they learned to be so loud and unrefined!;-)
A sign for Kindergarten registration dates on the school board caught my eye yesterday. It made me sigh. Can't someone stop this merry-go-round from spinning so quickly; at least let me get a firmer hold, so I don't go flinging off and land on my face. It's a strange feeling to picture Lily and Sophie with back packs on that don't really fit. They are nervous...so am I.
Fred, my peacemaker, goes to work everyday trying to weigh out the scales between corporate politics, and ethics and the temptation to have a nervous breakdown and is still glad that he took this job!;-) I send him out the door everyday, with a "go get 'em champ!" and then tackle the laundry in my pajama's and feel like I am battling the same things in a different light and on a different scale. The funny thing is, we can't complain (I mean we do, but we have no cause to). We are blessed, and not deserving.
I am yearning for the sun! All these gray, cloudy skies, and this cold that burrows in, are draining my motivation for being "up and doing". It's only January and I want to be digging in the dirt, with the sun pelting my back, but I have to work up the courage just to open the sliding glass door to give Olive her breakfast in the morning;-) I think we're all feeling a little couped up, except Abe, of course. We're not much of a cold weather kind of family I guess, unless there is snow. That must be why we're going though books like water. Even Jordan, who has 102 other things to be doing is reading of his own accord, and Fred is reading "Song of Years"(my all time favorite book since I was 14). It's not a "Fred" kind of book, so I was surprised when he asked me where it was. He said he just wanted to see what it was that I've loved so much all these years. Is that sweet or what. We've seen "Fireproof" twice on the big screen now and I think he's putting thoughts into action. I need to follow his selfless example and do something just because Fred loves it, and not because I have something else personal to gain. He's a good husband.
Mikayla and Eden have spent the last month trying to slowly "grow up" their bedroom. Most of their "sweet, and innocent" decorations have been passed down to Lily and Sophie's bedroom, and their room has become a work in progress of bright colors and chrome accents. Because decorations are so expensive and their room was so suddenly too juvenile, it is going through one of those teen awkward stages. It's a rude awakening to me that Jordan isn't the only one who is getting older much too quickly. It is a rare Saturday that goes by that simultaneous giggling, shrieking and all manner of "bed crack stuffing" isn't heard through those teenage walls. I don't know where they learned to be so loud and unrefined!;-)
A sign for Kindergarten registration dates on the school board caught my eye yesterday. It made me sigh. Can't someone stop this merry-go-round from spinning so quickly; at least let me get a firmer hold, so I don't go flinging off and land on my face. It's a strange feeling to picture Lily and Sophie with back packs on that don't really fit. They are nervous...so am I.
Fred, my peacemaker, goes to work everyday trying to weigh out the scales between corporate politics, and ethics and the temptation to have a nervous breakdown and is still glad that he took this job!;-) I send him out the door everyday, with a "go get 'em champ!" and then tackle the laundry in my pajama's and feel like I am battling the same things in a different light and on a different scale. The funny thing is, we can't complain (I mean we do, but we have no cause to). We are blessed, and not deserving.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Puny Little Thought Processes
My dog has been contained in my yard for three glorious (for me, not her) months. Three days ago, she started escaping again. I have tried putting up a "white trash" barricade where I think she is getting out, but she is smart and secretive and she won't escape if she thinks I am watching. Various people have started bringing her back again, and I can only thank them and apologize for their troubles. People are always so kind. Olive has been an incredible instrument for me to meet my "neighbors". Come to think of it, she's been an incredible "tool" for a lot of positive things in my life. I am grateful for the "trials" that she has brought into our family's life.
Friday, Jordan and I broke ground on the Middleton Sign plot, for his Eagle project. It took us an hour, and this old farm girl held my own with my darling, strapping, seventeen year old son. Had it been a contest of strength, I would have been panting and begging for mercy, but because it was just good old fashioned work, and I've been taught by the best, I kept up the pace. It's kind of a fun thought to think that in 20 years, I'll be able to drive past the finished product and remember that that is where I spent a good hour, digging a hole with my son. I'm proud of him for all that he has taken on this year and the young man that is developing from the refining fire. Today Fred and I were invited in while he was being set apart to be the 1st Assistant in the Priest quorum, and like only a mother will, I started to worry about the intense load on his shoulders. He is actively involved in student council, has both a ward and stake calling, is trying to finish up his Eagle Scout Advancement and his Duty to God program, is applying to college, preparing for this summer job away from home and trying to prepare for his mission. As our church meetings let out and we met in the foyer, I asked him if he was going to be okay with all of this responsibility or if he felt like he was going to explode. He just smiled and said, "I'll be okay". I told him that I knew that he needed to grow up sometime and this was good training for adulthood, but it felt like it was a crash course in just one year. His reply, "That's what I get for laying around for 16 years!" In truth, he's an amazing young man and I think he's ready to fly; I'm just not ready to watch him.
I just finished reading "The Problem With Pain" and "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis. I didn't mean to read them together, or in the order that I did, it was just a serendipitous chain of events that caused that, but the combination was so insightful and provocative. It is no secret that I am intrigued by the man; an intellect among men in the passionate pursuit of truth. Most of the previous works that I have read by him are analogous. These were more personal--more fraught with doctrines that he was "testing" and that I know he misunderstood, but so full of pieces of truth that he had uncovered, even in his wanderings. As with all of his writings, that are not for children, I am often "falling a little behind", but captivated enough to keep swimming in the deep waters. I am fascinated with what goes on in his head, maybe because intellectualism is such a foreign concept to my puny little thought processes. I found myself reading, and saying to Mr. Lewis in my mind, "Stop thinking so hard; you are making it so complex", and then in the same breath finding that his complexities had found a home. I think in my naivete, I am surprised by the idea of "finding" truth. My heart validates truth that has been found by others, and I know it more surely than if I had searched it out with my head; I don't wonder, I don't waver, but I am awed by someone who comes to those conclusions on their own, and then I remember about the light of Christ and how much Heavenly Father loves all of his children and I am awed again by how we each come to truth individually, through unique ways that are tapered to our personalities and characteristics. I feel so blessed to have the knowledge of the fullness of the gospel, and after reading "A Grief Observed" feel compelled and duty bound to share it, so others need not suffer so desperately. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." ...And so I must.
Friday, Jordan and I broke ground on the Middleton Sign plot, for his Eagle project. It took us an hour, and this old farm girl held my own with my darling, strapping, seventeen year old son. Had it been a contest of strength, I would have been panting and begging for mercy, but because it was just good old fashioned work, and I've been taught by the best, I kept up the pace. It's kind of a fun thought to think that in 20 years, I'll be able to drive past the finished product and remember that that is where I spent a good hour, digging a hole with my son. I'm proud of him for all that he has taken on this year and the young man that is developing from the refining fire. Today Fred and I were invited in while he was being set apart to be the 1st Assistant in the Priest quorum, and like only a mother will, I started to worry about the intense load on his shoulders. He is actively involved in student council, has both a ward and stake calling, is trying to finish up his Eagle Scout Advancement and his Duty to God program, is applying to college, preparing for this summer job away from home and trying to prepare for his mission. As our church meetings let out and we met in the foyer, I asked him if he was going to be okay with all of this responsibility or if he felt like he was going to explode. He just smiled and said, "I'll be okay". I told him that I knew that he needed to grow up sometime and this was good training for adulthood, but it felt like it was a crash course in just one year. His reply, "That's what I get for laying around for 16 years!" In truth, he's an amazing young man and I think he's ready to fly; I'm just not ready to watch him.
I just finished reading "The Problem With Pain" and "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis. I didn't mean to read them together, or in the order that I did, it was just a serendipitous chain of events that caused that, but the combination was so insightful and provocative. It is no secret that I am intrigued by the man; an intellect among men in the passionate pursuit of truth. Most of the previous works that I have read by him are analogous. These were more personal--more fraught with doctrines that he was "testing" and that I know he misunderstood, but so full of pieces of truth that he had uncovered, even in his wanderings. As with all of his writings, that are not for children, I am often "falling a little behind", but captivated enough to keep swimming in the deep waters. I am fascinated with what goes on in his head, maybe because intellectualism is such a foreign concept to my puny little thought processes. I found myself reading, and saying to Mr. Lewis in my mind, "Stop thinking so hard; you are making it so complex", and then in the same breath finding that his complexities had found a home. I think in my naivete, I am surprised by the idea of "finding" truth. My heart validates truth that has been found by others, and I know it more surely than if I had searched it out with my head; I don't wonder, I don't waver, but I am awed by someone who comes to those conclusions on their own, and then I remember about the light of Christ and how much Heavenly Father loves all of his children and I am awed again by how we each come to truth individually, through unique ways that are tapered to our personalities and characteristics. I feel so blessed to have the knowledge of the fullness of the gospel, and after reading "A Grief Observed" feel compelled and duty bound to share it, so others need not suffer so desperately. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." ...And so I must.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
A Thought
One of the very silliest and most unproductive things we do as women is determine our worth by comparing our faults with everyone else's talents. But, in some way we all seem to be sucked into it. Guys get overly competitive in sports and we think they are being juvenile; "we would never act like that", we say; we just compete in life-- much more mature ;-)
I'm sure if if we showed up at any of our "hero's" homes some morning during the "get ready" hour or any evening, during the bedtime routine, without prior notice we would, at some point, walk into the chaos of normal, everyday life of very human people, and be enlightened, I'm sure.
I'm sure if if we showed up at any of our "hero's" homes some morning during the "get ready" hour or any evening, during the bedtime routine, without prior notice we would, at some point, walk into the chaos of normal, everyday life of very human people, and be enlightened, I'm sure.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Movies Worth Seeing
As I grow older I am learning that when art and virtue are at their pinnacles, magic happens. Magic can be profoundly dramatic and moving. However, I am also learning that as long as virtue is always at it's pinnacle, art can meet at a lower point and the merging can still be profound. The opposite is never true. Because of that, I am finding that I enjoy movies that may not be in the running for academy awards, in fact, that may not be in the "running" for anything, but that portray a good message delivered by mediocre performances. I have not yet learned to appreciate virtuous messages delivered by painful performances (and of course those classifications are the product of opinion).
There is a trend recently, of good people trying to have a positive effect in the media. I have felt that in Douglas Gresham's work, and with Walden Media's mission. I have seen it in lesser art forms in the productions of Michael Landon Jr. and the baptist pastor brothers, Stephen and Alex Kendrick. With my sister and brother-in-laws recommendation, Fred and I went to see this congregations latest film "Fireproof". The main actor is great, most are mediocre, a few bit parts are hard to swallow, but the message was positive and moving and virtuous and when the lights came up, Fred and I worth both crying and were surprised to find a whole slew of extended relatives behind us, doing the same.
If you are looking for a few uplifting movies, not incredible art, I recommend "Fireproof" for a date movie and "Saving Sarah Cain" for a family movie. If lesser art inhibits your enjoyment of a movie, don't bother with either. Hope you enjoy!
P.S. Just a neat side note that my cousin told us (and that I verified) is that in the scene in "Fireproof" where the husband and wife in the movie kiss, the main actor, who refuses to kiss anyone on stage or off besides his real wife, had the film crew shoot the scene in silhouette so his own wife could come into the shot and he could kiss her instead. That's virtue!
There is a trend recently, of good people trying to have a positive effect in the media. I have felt that in Douglas Gresham's work, and with Walden Media's mission. I have seen it in lesser art forms in the productions of Michael Landon Jr. and the baptist pastor brothers, Stephen and Alex Kendrick. With my sister and brother-in-laws recommendation, Fred and I went to see this congregations latest film "Fireproof". The main actor is great, most are mediocre, a few bit parts are hard to swallow, but the message was positive and moving and virtuous and when the lights came up, Fred and I worth both crying and were surprised to find a whole slew of extended relatives behind us, doing the same.
If you are looking for a few uplifting movies, not incredible art, I recommend "Fireproof" for a date movie and "Saving Sarah Cain" for a family movie. If lesser art inhibits your enjoyment of a movie, don't bother with either. Hope you enjoy!
P.S. Just a neat side note that my cousin told us (and that I verified) is that in the scene in "Fireproof" where the husband and wife in the movie kiss, the main actor, who refuses to kiss anyone on stage or off besides his real wife, had the film crew shoot the scene in silhouette so his own wife could come into the shot and he could kiss her instead. That's virtue!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Looking Back-- Looking Forward
Fred and I were at a family party, visiting in segregated groups for a few minutes (the guys in the kitchen; the girls in the living room) before we started playing games, and as women do, we were sharing our frustrations with trying to meet the demands of motherhood. Marg was wondering how anyone had time to "blog" and Liz suggested it was all just a matter of priority. I related with both of their remarks. It is such a challenge to find time to sit still and write about something that has already happened and is not on the "pending" to do list, but I feel compelled to keep a journal entry and by doing it blogging style, I feel like I accomplish two things in one by trying to keep up communications with friends family.
I love being able to get up in the morning and check my e-mail and then go to my "Freinds and Family Blogs" bookmark see what everyone else is doing. It is so quick and I can keep in touch by just responding to something that they wrote. Of course I can't do it every morning and I don't record as often as I should, but I try to get updated at least once a week. I had friends who sent a family blog this year instead of Christmas cards and it was fun to be able to see all of the pictures and keep updated in a way that would just be too time consuming through the phone or with individualized letters. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing like getting a personal phone call and handwritten, personalized snail mail, but this adds to what I can accomplish with those things that are still special to me. It is so interesting how much more I have gotten to know those family and friends this past year who are actively communicating through the computer.
I am preparing for a landslide year. January through March are going to be so busy with Jordan trying to finish his Eagle project and His Duty to God requirements and apply to college. Then comes graduation and putting everything in order for this summer job in Washington. By this summer Mikayla will be turning 16 and getting her drivers license and by Fall the twins will head off to kindergarten and Eden will finally be released into the world of makeup (which she thinks is just as big of a landmark. Abe is the only one who does not have pre-determined milestones this year. I am trying not to acclimate in panic mode.
We went out to dinner with three other couples last night and spent a couple of hours in the restaurant just talking about our lives. We are the only ones with older children and it feels so surreal. These are some great times in our lives that we will always cherish and it makes me appreciate those who surround me who are paving the path. Others positive experience is so often a boon, when the path ahead looks so daunting and unfamiliar.
I am so grateful for the constancy of the gospel and the security that comes from knowing that one path will always seem familiar and unaltered, even as life presents its challenges and turbulence and unstoppable change. Lessons learned are so easy to see when you look back over 17 years of marriage. I was talking to my brother Thursday night and just feeling intense empathy for the challenges of supporting and raising a young family. We have experienced many years of circumstances that did not seem ideal at the time, but we have grown in so many ways from those struggles and we are now reaping some of the benefits of "enduring" and preparing to start a whole new set of challenges as our children start leaving home.
I know our future is bright. I feel hopeful as I look forward into this new year, and I am comforted with the thought that I am surrounded by family and friends who will help me to remember that, when the trials come, as they always do.
I love you all. May hope and light permeate each of our lives this year.
I love being able to get up in the morning and check my e-mail and then go to my "Freinds and Family Blogs" bookmark see what everyone else is doing. It is so quick and I can keep in touch by just responding to something that they wrote. Of course I can't do it every morning and I don't record as often as I should, but I try to get updated at least once a week. I had friends who sent a family blog this year instead of Christmas cards and it was fun to be able to see all of the pictures and keep updated in a way that would just be too time consuming through the phone or with individualized letters. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing like getting a personal phone call and handwritten, personalized snail mail, but this adds to what I can accomplish with those things that are still special to me. It is so interesting how much more I have gotten to know those family and friends this past year who are actively communicating through the computer.
I am preparing for a landslide year. January through March are going to be so busy with Jordan trying to finish his Eagle project and His Duty to God requirements and apply to college. Then comes graduation and putting everything in order for this summer job in Washington. By this summer Mikayla will be turning 16 and getting her drivers license and by Fall the twins will head off to kindergarten and Eden will finally be released into the world of makeup (which she thinks is just as big of a landmark. Abe is the only one who does not have pre-determined milestones this year. I am trying not to acclimate in panic mode.
We went out to dinner with three other couples last night and spent a couple of hours in the restaurant just talking about our lives. We are the only ones with older children and it feels so surreal. These are some great times in our lives that we will always cherish and it makes me appreciate those who surround me who are paving the path. Others positive experience is so often a boon, when the path ahead looks so daunting and unfamiliar.
I am so grateful for the constancy of the gospel and the security that comes from knowing that one path will always seem familiar and unaltered, even as life presents its challenges and turbulence and unstoppable change. Lessons learned are so easy to see when you look back over 17 years of marriage. I was talking to my brother Thursday night and just feeling intense empathy for the challenges of supporting and raising a young family. We have experienced many years of circumstances that did not seem ideal at the time, but we have grown in so many ways from those struggles and we are now reaping some of the benefits of "enduring" and preparing to start a whole new set of challenges as our children start leaving home.
I know our future is bright. I feel hopeful as I look forward into this new year, and I am comforted with the thought that I am surrounded by family and friends who will help me to remember that, when the trials come, as they always do.
I love you all. May hope and light permeate each of our lives this year.
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