Missing Pieces

We attended another missionary farewell today.  Most of these young friends of Jordan's are now either preparing to fill out papers, are in the process of doing so, or are waiting  for calls; a few are in the mission field. It is such an exciting time for these boys that we love.

I was again reminded, during the meeting, that I need to come up with different Sunday hairdo's for the twins so I don't end up with curls and puffs and pompadours constantly in my face.  When they are sitting on my lap the backs of their heads are at the exact height of my nose and mouth and it's hard to concentrate and not be distracting, when I'm constantly ducking and dodging.

I have been feeling a disturbing "sense of waste" lately, like I'm picking my goals out of a hat each day.  It must be this motherhood transition, having a few more hours to myself and not being organized or disciplined enough to use them effectively.  The time goes by so quickly, but it seems like I should be accomplishing so much more than I am.  I have the desire and the capacity to be "up and doing", to be engaged full throttle in making a difference, but my focus and sense of purpose has blurred.  With first and last children venturing off well worn paths I seem to have lost my sense of direction and am now running in circles at the crossroads, waiting for some kind of signpost to get me back on course.  Jordan didn't call last night.  He calls EVERY Sunday.  We tried to get him on the phone and the computer, but were never successful.  I went to bed sad and worried;  feeling like a part of me was missing......  And the answer is always the same, "forget yourself, and go to work!" and so I will.

SUNDAY MORNING

LILY JUMPING IN THE RAIN

SOPHIE BEING AN ODD DUCK

ANGEL EYES