"Charge It Like A Bull"

I sat down on Sunday and realized that I had nothing to write.  That may seem surprising since I have never really needed an excuse in order to start rambling.  Things just fall out of my mouth when I "feel" things and that's how I process my thoughts, but my daily life routine, right now, just seems poised, waiting for some kind of decision to action.  Maybe that is because Jordan is in that mindset and somehow as a mother I feel like I have to join him, which is ridiculous and non-productive.  He is getting stir crazy.  He spends his days asking companies if they are hiring, picking up applications if they are or if they don't know, filling out applications, looking online and feeling rejected.  He went to apply at a gym the other day and the people working there had degrees.  It's hard when you have to compete with the 40 year old  engineer for a minimum wage, entry level position.  And the fact that he won't work on Sundays doesn't make him a shoe in. He will start attending our stake networking meetings tomorrow.  I'm sure he could find something if he was willing to drive in to Boise, but he and I have to share the car and so he has to work fairly close, which is another mark against success.  After the mental stimulation of college and being on your own, this seemingly purposeless daily monotony is getting to him.  He's very helpful here, begging for any errand and cleaning around the house and doing odd jobs, but it's not fulfilling when you know you are supposed to be doing something else and making money is such a huge priority.  Before now, our family hasn't been personally hit by the economy very much, but this experience with Jordan is helping me to have compassion for those fathers trying to find jobs to support their families and the depressing strain that must put on them.  I'm glad Jordan's just a boy, but he's still feeling the anxiety of knowing that every day that passes is money out of his mission fund and that's a stress for all of us.  He knows he needs to start getting into missionary sleep habits, but he has trouble getting to sleep at night (he's been staying up reading "Song of Years" :) and then subsequently has trouble getting up early.

He is still waiting for some insurance paperwork, but he got all of his medical work out of the way last week.  My ob/gyn told me last year that he would do Jordan's physical for free when he got ready to go on his mission.  I didn't think that would fly, but I told Jordan, jokingly and he didn't seem to mind, even after I told him that it might be awkward sitting in that waiting room.  He said, "hey, free is free!" so I scheduled an appointment and could tell by the receptionists reaction that this was a common practice of Dr. Lowder's so Jordan went in on his own without any concerns.  The waiting room did prove to be an awkward experience for him, but he's a big boy and resilient and it has made for a good story among his friends :)  That day was followed by shots and that was followed by a dental appointment.   So far, so good!

We have been trying to think of something fun to do with our four day weekend, but the twins are both sick, (I finally got Lily to sleep, after a long night), so if this persists, maybe we will just hunker down and have some family bonding time and finish our "picture wall".  Fred gave me a huge box of picture frames for Christmas.  He spent a month gathering wood frames, with personality, at various thrift stores and then painted them all cream and we spent all day Saturday putting them together like a puzzle on our living room wall.  There are some that we found after Christmas that still need painted and 7 that still need pictures, but it's coming together nicely and forcing us to redecorate the other walls, so they don't compete.  We have to repaint the wall and then put tape tabs on all of the frames so they will stay straight on the wall (something which they certainly aren't now) and we're trying to find a temple print that agree on for the main wall, that matches the mood of the room.  Jordan is anxious for any occupations and has promised to do any painting that I want done, so I need to figure that out all quick while I still have a willing hand.

Mikayla is studying non-stop for finals and is wearing herself quite out.  She is a good student, but really has to work for it, which seems the be a Bloomquist family brain trait.  Her brain and curiosity are much more peaked in areas that are Fred friendly, but her heart is a kindred spirit. She continues to be a compassionate peacemaker around our home and a humbling example to me.
Eden is in a constant state of 14 year old drama, of which I can completely empathise.  All the anxieties are in instant recall, but over the years have become fondly comedic and I have to catch myself from dismissing it all in light of experience.  She seems to feel and react much as I did at her age and is just as vocal about it all (something that I haven't grown out of:)  The world is reeling and everything feels traumatic.  Mikayla experienced this discovery period with very different reactions, but is still close enough to the emotions to be a calming comfort, something that Eden and I are both grateful for.  Eden is full of fire and passion  and I see quite a beautiful masterpeice coming out of this kiln in the near future, if she can endure the heat.

I started reading a book that Mys suggested called "A Mind at a Time" to see if I could better understand my Abe, who has "a different kind of mind", but it's helping me to better understand each of us.  I'm not very far into it, but I'm hoping I'll uncover many personal applications to go along with the valuable insight.

This has gotten overly long, after having nothing to say, and I'm falling sadly behind in my responsibilities so, I need to get off, focus and "charge it like a bull".