"The Tongue of Angels"

Mom and Dad were right, at least about the Bloomquists; we have been watching the Olympics.  We did end up biting the bullet and sinking money into a t.v. converter that we won't use again until conference, in order to be nightly Olympic fans.  It hasn't been good for bedtime or date nights or even traditional F.H.E., but we are enjoying the comradery or whatever it is that draws you into the Olympics even when you aren't especially fond of watching athletics.  We have even been learning some good lessons from our experiences.  Many of us, including Mikayla's seminary teacher, had been having a hard time with some of the athletes in men's figure skating, and the night of the short program he made the comment to his wife, that he hoped one particular athlete didn't win (I had made a similiar comment) and Bro. Angels wife gave him a lecture about being Christlike and fair, which he brought to the students the next morning, and which Mikayla brought home to us.  We have been trying to be more kind with our words and appreciative of talent and less "idle tongued". It's good to keep being reminded day by day, sometimes minute by minute, of who we are and where our hearts should be.  There is much of "the world's" influence that surfaces on the screen, among all that is inspiring about these kinds of physical performances, and it is an effort to seperate attitudes and dress and actions from individuals and try to keep proper perspective.  In some cases during the ice dancing we just had to forego watching the programs altogether because there was too much of the "world" overshadowing the talents, but for the most part it has been enjoyable for our family.

Jordan is still searching for a job.  He got a few bites this week, but as soon as anyone hears he won't work Sundays and won't be here long term, their interest dissipates quickly.  He is running out of ideas, but doesn't want to give up so has turned to nonconventional places like Craigslist for leads.  He found one person willing to hire him on a "finders fee" basis for real estate, but that is a world he is so little acquainted with and all of the jargon and concepts being explained to him so foreign that he has been completely indimidated about pursuing that avenue.  He was also offered an interview for a modeling agency, but they wanted 6 months to train him, so that didn't pan out either.  I will admit that though I don't want to discourage him from finding work, I was happy that option was unsuccessful.  Jordan has always been an attractive boy and has been told that by other people for years and somehow has been able to remain very humble about that gift, but I know modeling would attach an importance to that trait that isn't important and I would be so sad to see any cockiness creep into his personality.  The agency encouraged him to come back after his mission, but I hope he will find other opportunities more enticing at that time.  There were some art modeling jobs on campus at BYU-I that Jordan's girlfriend considered until she found out that she had to "be comfortable standing in front of the class in shorts and sports bra". This was considerably confusing for her and for Jordan and I will admit for me as well, and I had absolutely no explanation at all for him.  I just know it's not a world I'm familiar with nor comfortable in.  He is off today to help on one of his freinds ranches, so that's one good day in his pocket, and I have painting jobs for him the rest of the week to help keep him busy.  I'm starting to get nervous about trying to support a missionary and put a daughter through college in a year all at the same time, when there seems to be no student work to be had, but things have always worked out before and I am sure they will continue to work out if we keep trying our best.

The youth had a missionary fireside Sunday night.  The elders in our area organized it and the mission president spoke along with a YW who has been recently baptized in our community and the friend who introduced her to the gospel. The youth here are on fire and have had much success with their friends and the elders want to continue to motivate and teach them about their positive roles as missionaries.  It was a beautiful eveining full of the testimonies of youth who are so courageous in sharing the gospel and changing lives in such positive and drastic ways. They are such good examples to those of us who "lead" them..

I am looking forward to getting together as family this coming weekend before Josey leaves.  I was talking to Mindy the other night and she was feeling so sad that Laura was no longer around and she could no longer talk to her every day.  It made me sad that I haven't taken the time to invest that kind of effort into my relationship with my siblings who live so close.  I am realizing that I am not much of an investor outside of my little home bubble and those small returns are starting to become apparent to me in my life.  I know that if I don't learn to reach out more, that one day I will "reap disappointment by and by".

Well, it's one of those rare days home without children, so there is much to be done and I've barely begun.  I am blessed with work; I know that!

Olympic Panic and other "Needful" things

Growing up in an Olympic fan club family, I am feeling like I am missing out on something HUGE right now.  Because we rarely watch television, we never invested in the digital converter boxes when that whole analog/digital changeover took place.  Since we could watch conference online, we just didn't see the need, but we realized on Friday that you couldn't watch the Olympics online because of rigid copyright protection, so we missed the opening ceremonies and everything else up to this point.  Fred called around to see how much it would cost to convert out television, but it came out to around $70 and we haven't be able to bring ourselves to take the plunge for a one time use, but we are SO DISAPPOINTED.   Today we were able to watch highlights on the computer of events that had already taken place, but it wasn't the same.  Jordan is looking into hooking up cable for a month to see if that is a less expensive option.  We may convince ourselves by tomorrow that we've got to do something, but I am sure Dave Ramsey would not approve. :)  My stake YW president's son made it onto the U.S. Olympic Alpine ski team and there has been a lot of buzz and excitement around here.  We found out Saturday that he didn't make it through eliminations, but we saw him twice, in the crowd, on the computer highlights and that was fun.

I had some things weighing heavy on my heart this week, so I forced myself to take Olive on a walk, (something I haven't done often enough this Winter) finding that to be a sure way to "be still" and "listen" to the silence that isn't in my head.  It had rained all night and I noticed green growth everywhere, which is a sure sign that Spring is peeping.  I am eager for all types of renewal, and with Alma 5 much on my mind these past few days, natures rebirth seems to be the perfect forerunner.  I know there are still many rainy days ahead, but I feel the sun coming out and the beginnings of an accompanying deep thaw.

It has been a happy Valentines weekend.  Lots of meetings on Sunday, unfortunately, but still time to spend enjoying the company of this unique group of people who make up my precious family.  Because of the accompanying Presidents day holiday today we stayed up way too late last night and tonight also because of F.H.E.  Fred has spent much of the day preparing curriculum, and Mikayla, Eden and I spent a few hours in town looking for jeans and other errands.  The younger children just enjoyed an extra day of playtime and Jordan spent time looking for a job and hanging with friends who were in town from college.  It looks to be a very busy week, so I am glad for this day of breathing room to gear up and get a few extra things taken care of.

Our family insurance paperwork has still not been finalized, but I am going to stop worrying and turn the timing of all of this missionary prep. over to the Lord.  Maybe it's all a blessing to give Jordan time to find a job and earn some money.  Whatever it is, I realize that I am certainly not in control and there are just some things you can't rush.  "We'll get there when we get there!"

Dancing in the Kitchen

Bendaroo Fun on Saturday

Waiting for Valentines Breakfast

The Chef's Cook

The Table

The Food

The Flowers

"Privilege to work is a gift,...Power to work is a blessing,...Love of work is success".......Almost

Valentines Weekend is coming up quickly and Jordan still doesn't have a job.  The deal was that if he could get a steady job (among other things), we'd allow him to use the car to go up to BYU-I to see his girl.  So far, we're just all frustrated.  For the past two weeks he has put in approx. 4 hours a day looking.  One of the days last week he talked to 26 different managers and all he has found is some possible, sporadic delivery jobs for a mattress company.  He is discouraged.  I know there is something out there if he persistently  works at it, but he may not find it by this weekend and then he is going to be hard to live with, but we have to be consistent.  It has caused me to look on the many people we see begging in the city with more compassion as we are realizing, more profoundly, that work is such a blessing and often hard to come by.  Jordan was looking through the help wanted ads on Craigslist the other day while I was in the kitchen.  He was calling out possible job options, all of which weren't applicable because they were in Boise (not during Fred's office hours)  He called out, "what do you think about a mental therapist?"  I said, "I don't think you are qualified" and he replied, "No, what do you think about me getting one?"  That's about his level of optimism right now :)  Maybe this is one of those preparatory lessons that will help him learn the vitality of leaning on the Lord, when you feel you've done everything you can.  The insurance company tells us that everything will probably be finalized by tomorrow, so hopefully Jordan can get the missionary process moving again and feel like he is making headway somewhere.

We were able to go over for a fun family party night at the Kirkmans on Friday.  They are such dear friends and we love being in their home and feeling the spirit that is there.  It is easy to lose track of time there and we didn't end up leaving until past 12:30 AM (which isn't a very kind thing to do to good friends, but we were enjoying ourselves so much, we didn't realize the time). The past few years have been such struggles for each of us and it is good to be able to talk through the life lessons that we are all learning.  They are in the process of selling there house and of course we are trying to talk them into moving to Middleton.  It seems like half of Middleton is being inhabited by Walkers, so they would feel like family:)

We went to a reception this weekend of some close acquaintances and I left very disappointed.  My children know that I am trying to work through seeing others points of views and not being so judgmental, and they reminded me that other people just have different personalities, but I really struggle with where you draw the line between different opinions and just wrong.  It is really such a foreign concept to my little brain, and sometimes I think that I don't really want to see it, as it seems so much more complicated to have to try and decipher hundreds of different shades of gray instead of just choosing between black and white.  I know I have to just keep plodding on, even though it makes no sense to me because I am not going anywhere by being prideful , which is another things that is hard for me to distinguish in myself.  I guess that is why we have family, to keep encouraging us out of our limp and get us striding again.  I'm just not catching on.  I know the why--those guidelines come continually--I just can't seem to figure out the how.

We have discovered that an Occupational Therapist sometimes visits our Elementary school and have asked that he look at Abe's writing technique and see if they can help him learn to hold his pencil differently without it being an emotional nightmare (like it is at home, when I try to get him to practice differently).  We are being very low key about it so that he doesn't become self conscious, but I'm hoping that it ends up being a positive adjustment and helps him not to dread at least one aspect of writing.  One step at a time.  I'm still reading "A Mind at a Time" and learning so many helpful and insightful tips about guiding our attention controls.  I've been telling Fred about it and he says it sounds like things he struggles with and could help him.  I think the insight can help so many of us, but especially as children, when we are all expected to fit into this one kind of mind mold during our formal education.

Mikayla has been asked to be her class Seminary president, which is proving to be a challenge for her.  She isn't one to stand up and make her voice heard in a crowd, and the seminary teacher turns much of the leadership over to the youth.  They get the class started (he doesn't even come in to the room until he is announced for the lesson) and he leaves behaviors and attitudes and minor discipline up to the youth leaders.  Mikayla's class is experiencing some reverence problems which are concerning her and because the teacher won't even tell the class to be quiet, she is going to have to figure out how to deal with the problem.  That assignment comes easy to some of the "natural" leaders, but it doesn't to her.  I feel for her, but I also think this is so good for her to be stretched out of her comfort zone and be responsible for vocally guiding others to do what is right.  She is so valiant about making sure that she is striving to do what is right, but this is a whole new level for her.  I'm  interested to see how she chooses to handle these issues, and how they help her grow.  She has deep wells of strength and understanding and such difficulty expressing those thoughts and desires.  It can create a communication barrier that is very frustrating to her and often to me as she comes to me with concerns and questions and I cannot grasp what they really are.

Blessings in Disguise

On the heels of our Spring teasing last week, it snowed on Saturday and Sunday.  It has been such a strange Winter!  One day, I am tempted to prune the rosebushes that I never got to in the Fall and the next I am cringing at the thought of walking to the mailbox (though that doesn't take much; anything below 70 degrees is quite convincing :)

I have been studying Stephen Covey's "5th Habit" with my morning scripture study this week and trying to get outside of this brick wall head of mine; it's hard and frustrating, and I find myself falling back into "self" continually, but at least it's a tangible guide to a small part of a large problem, which makes the "cure" seem a bit less ethereal.  I haven't been very successful with changing my initial judgmental thoughts, but I have been "catching myself" much more frequently (at quite an alarming rate).  It is a discouraging process, because the more aware I become the worse I feel and then I have to work hard at realizing the "progress" in the pain.  My desire to change fills my prayers and I know they are being heard; I was just propelled into a service relationship with a family that I had  pre-judged in my head and which I am now seeing as an opportunity to change my heart.  The Savior knows the best way to "heal" us and the methods differ drastically depending on the "disease".  The vulnerability and sensitivity and pain that I was feeling about my experiences in the last few weeks with Lily, he just lifted and took away with the asking.  He won't do that this time.  He is providing knowledge and opportunities and awareness, but he's going to make me work  this one out, one slow step at a time, before he steps in and finishes the lifting.

We are STILL waiting for insurance red tape for Jordan and it feels like it is taking forever, but we have one final step, which we are hoping will be finalized this week and then he can schedule his final mission interviews with the Bishop and Stake President.  He finishes his final temple prep.  class this Wednesday and our Bishop has just assigned him to a Mission Prep. class during Sunday school, which is one on one and he is excited about that.  He still has no permanent work, though he is scrapping a couple times a week.  He goes out every day, talking to managers and trying to find leads, which is frustrating, but good missionary prep, in and of itself, so we are trying to look at it as a blessing in disguise.

My big plans this week are to start repainting some walls with Jordan.  Fred has done some fixing and since I didn't save the original paint can and can't get a perfect match (I've had Lowe's try twice), we've decided to do some faux painting so we can blend the original color in with some complementary shades.  I'll be glad to have Jordan's help, as prepping in always daunting to me, and I think he'll be glad to have "an occupation" so he doesn't go "mad".

Looking forward to the whole happy prospect of celebrating Valentines Day this month and doing my taxes; really! So far, in our almost 20 years of marriage, they have both been cheerful anticipations.  Keeping my fingers crossed for this year. ;)

Getting excited for Mom and Dad to come home from their mission, though I was disappointed to find out that it was the day after Spring Break ended for our family.  We'll have to skip school or something on Tuesday so we can stay up on Monday night and then party on Tuesday! :)

It's Monday, and it's after noon, so I better get on deck and start swabbing.