Fred and I have had the calling of YSA Advisor for almost 3 months and have only been successful in visiting with 6 of the 24 youth in our group, all of who are still in high school and actively attending our ward. Of the remaining 18, 4 are on missions, and one has such intense special needs that her parents don't feel that the goals of this specific group fit her needs. We have found enough information to move 3 names off our list and have added 3 more, but after every temporal resource and avenue available, we are still trying to locate 8 youth who seem not to want to be found, which is really the group we've been asked to focus on. The nice clean print-out we were given is almost unreadable because of all of the notes and yet, in truth, we have not accomplished anything of real worth in all of these weeks and ultimately it comes down to the fact (in my case) that jumping into the actual trenches is terrifying to me. Sometimes you have to rely on other people in order to find any information and often that information can be intimidating, especially when they involve guns and threats if you show up on someone's porch. But, we can progress no further on paper and now is the time to ACT in faith.
A few weeks ago, as we were sitting in Sacrament meeting, Jet stood up to bear his testimony. It caught me off guard and as he stood there I realized that here was a young man, who a year before was slamming (literally) doors in missionaries faces and would have wanted nothing to do with me, in my YSA role and now he was standing in front of a congregation of hundreds sharing his belief in the gospel and I thought of the scripture in the D&C that says, "And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." and I received the strong impression that if I would just be faithful and put forth the effort, I would be guided to those who do want to be found, no matter what I can't find on paper and I would be protected. Even so, I have let two more weeks go by and continue to put all my efforts after paperwork and active members and I think the Lord is tiring of my lethargy because I opened my scripture study a few days ago to D&C 60 and read, " But with some I am not well pleased, for they will not open their mouths, but they hide the talent which I have given unto them, because of the fear of man. Wo unto such, for mine anger is kindled against them. And it shall come to pass, if they are not more faithful unto me, it shall be taken away, even that which they have." Needless to say, I am feeling severely chastened and have made a commitment to go out every week and start knocking on doors and just trust in the Lord. We have a formal appointment on Thursday and will see if we can't make some informal ones at the same time.
After all, I have spent the last 20 years of my life preparing Jordan to go out and do what he IS doing and what I have been refusing to do. It's funny--as a Primary president I visited every home of every child on my list consistently with no fear, even though I had to approach an adult in order to get to the child, but when I am asked to actually go looking for the "adult", I am full of fear. I know that's because I am not being full of faith, because we have been told that the two can not co-exist.
On a completely other subject...We have had to pull Eden out of Music Theatre of Idaho after only one day of "The Secret Garden" rehearsals, because the scheduling conflicted with Choir tour and was so intense that after missing only one F.H.E., we both knew it wasn't going to be emotionally sensible. The fact that there were a few mandatory Sundays involved made it a clear cut decision, but Eden was initially so disappointed as she has looked so forward to the experience. As novices, there were just so many things to know that we weren't aware of when we signed up, so we lost all of the money that we invested up front, but you live and learn. I will say, that the one practice that we did attend was so interesting. All of the cast showed up and after much kissing and hugging (most seemed to know each other very well) all sat in a large semicircle and did a dry run of the entire script ( a 3 hour experience). It was truly enlightening to watch these everyday (mostly rough looking) people share their amazing talents in that dingy little room in Nampa and when they were near the end, the young woman playing the part of "Lily" started singing her song, "How Could I Ever Know?" and became so emotional she couldn't make it past the first stanza and then the young man beside her became emotional and the young man playing "Archibald" got up and kneeled behind her chair and held onto her shoulders and I became emotional! She made it through admirably, but I was awed by the power of beautiful music and the ability to empathize so completely with a character. Eden got the vibe that the two were married, which would explain how easily she could get "into character" and she has played the part before because I saw her in the play when we first moved here.The talent in the room was truly amazing and I think a bit intimidating to both Eden and I. I am still excited to go see some of the plays even though Eden won't be able to perform in them. I think she has finally realized that her plate is quite full right now and other opportunities will come in due time. She wants to do everything but "sometimes more isn't better... it's just more". College is going to be FUN for her and she will have the responsibility of deciding on her own what she can and can't take on. I will be interested to see where her path takes her.
We are on Spring Break and as usual, there is no feel of Spring, but I have brave crocus and the grass is turning green so it is literally in sight. Mikayla and I will be working hard on Personal Progress this week and we have family activities planner, so an indoor vacation isn't so bad. We went to see Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella with our family at the Morrison Center on Friday. It was a BSU Theatre production and was very enjoyable despite the fact that Prince Charming...wasn't! (much more Mr. Collins than Mr. Darcy) =). But he wasn't the star of the show and the rest of the cast made up for him. It's a rare treat to get to see a live production and so much fun. It was Jordan's birthday and we've been celebrating the whole weekend--we even made a cake and sang "Happy Birthday!" Tuesday we are going to see "Tangled" at the dollar theatre and the other days we will try to get in some clothes shopping since the kids are running out of clothes. I'm looking forward to just being together.
Abe's name got picked in our Charter school "lottery" last week. We have decided to give it a shot and see if we can have a better experience than Eden's middle school years. I will be sad that he is farther away and it will be a different experience for him since the Charter School is really just 8 portables in a field for now, but I think the different kinds of opportunities will be good for Abe's personality. He doesn't seem to care much either way since his best friends are both going to be homeschooled next year. I think he would like that option, but specifically for Abe we feel like we should encourage less isolation and we have seen good things come from having our children "in the world, but not of the world", especially here in Middleton where we are still very "sheltered" and there are so many good youth to stand together. My only real concern is that the Charter School starts a week before all of the other schools here and gets out at the same time, which Abe is NOT going to be happy with and neither will any of the rest of us since everyone else will be in the regular school district. I have a feeling it's going to get complicated with Eden moving into the new High School and Mikayla taking off to college--6 kids, 4 different school, 3 different cities, 2 different countries. Who would have thought! Things started out so small and simple.
|
Our sweet (destructive) little Maunzy |
|
Happy 7th Birthday Lily and Sophie |
|
Cover of photo/quote book we made for Jordan's b-day |
|
Eden's "RM" |