A SUCCESS

It is a new day, a new week, soon to be a new year. We have emerged from our family hiatus reinvigorated and ready to resume our responsibilities, challenges and general mayhem that seems to take up such a large portion of our lives. I was so grateful for my children's friends respecting what I was trying to achieve this past week. None of them called with invitations that would distract them from this past week, but they all have plans waiting for this upcoming one, which is good and fun and how it should be. An entire week of shutting out the world is so therapeutic. We hardly even ventured out of our family with the computer or the telephone. That means we have some catching up to do with everyone else we love, but that seems to be "relatively" easy. ;-) Fred had to work Monday and Tuesday, so during the days, the children and I finished preparing for Christmas and in the evenings we celebrated together. I had enough food bought and prepared for buffet style eating for the most of the week, so I only cooked dinner Tuesday night and breakfast Saturday morning and we grazed the rest of the week. It was fantastic!

We spent the days sledding, playing board games for hours, reading, watching movies, visiting, making treats etc. We even tried roasting chestnuts, though we didn't have an "open fire", and found them to be quite disgusting. I'm not sure why they would be romanticized in a song, but that is knowledge that can be chalked up to experience. We learned that the Farming Game is so much more fun when played "speed style"; it is also much more violent. We learned that when you play board games for too many hours, and too late at night, that you get very loud and silly and people not playing with you keep casting sidelong glances of concern. It was reminiscent of very long monopoly games with Mys and Lulu. Because we never went anywhere outside of our neighborhood, Lily and Sophie spent three full days in "princess" clothes and we didn't have one dramatic outburst about someone choosing the cute flower pants that Annalie gave them first or having to change into clothes that "match". We did have other dramatic outbursts but that is just par for the course with twins.

I did wake up this morning to a very full Inbox on my e-mail, which will take some time to sort, but that is okay as well, because I'm up before any of my children who will probably all get up late because we partied them too hard last week, so I have a few minutes before I have to head off to a planning mtg. for this big New Years Celebration that has come down from Salt Lake. More partying.........! I think Pres. Monson likes parties ;-) Our stake has chosen to hold it on New Years Eve, so half of our family will be at the stake center from 8:00 PM until 1:00 AM and Fred and the youngest three will be at home. Not an ideal celebration-- I am trying to talk Fred into coming up for the countdown and "breakfast", but I think he is thinking he may actually sneak into bed before midnight for once on a New Years Eve, so I don't know how sucessful that will be. It would be so much more fun as an entire family!

If the weather and every one's health holds out, we will probably end these two weeks of vacation by staying with Joseph and Camille on Friday and Saturday. We haven't been up to the ranch in a very long time and Fred has a sleep study to do in McCall so we thought it would be a good opportunity to all go up together and visit.

MAKING OUR GINGERBREAD HOUSE FOR F.H.E.

CHRISTMAS MORNING

PERFECT PRINCESSES

CASUALTIES OF TOO MUCH SUGAR AND TOO LITTLE SLEEP

(He ran straight into the door jam!)

GAME CRAZY

GONE CRAZY

(This is what happens when your mother forces you to spend an entire week together as a family! Mikayla was having too much fun. I was hoping some of Jordan's friend girls would show up for just a minute ;-)

SATURDAY MORNING BREAKFAST (Fred gave me a tablecloth and napkins and rings for Christmas-- I was feeling very refined)

One Week

As my children get older and we all get involved in more diversions and responsibilities, it becomes more difficult to find any time to be together as a family. I have been very firm about having everyone home for dinner, but it seems that someone is always running to and fro. We are trying something new this week. This children are out of school and I have calendared the whole week as "family time". No one splits off to do something without the rest of the family. I told them if their friends can't deal with that kind of separation, then they are welcome to come over and spend family time with us, but we will all stay together. We have made plans to play games, do some fun baking, get ready for Christmas, put together friend deliveries, make gingerbread houses, have a taffy pull, go sledding etc. Unfortunately that has also meant my girls are missing out on a cousin Christmas party, which makes me sad, but unless we schedule family time on the calendar, someone always wants a piece of somebody and this is so important to me. I hope it accomplishes the memory building that I desire and not end up being a sad experience for all of the things that we "miss out on". Next week of break the children are welcome to "go crazy" living it up with friends. I'm looking forward to the next two weeks immensely.

Of course I am not ready for Christmas, but I will be done with shopping this morning, if the roads cooperate, and hopefully will be ready by Christmas Eve with everything else. I did much of my shopping online this year, because shopping with the twins in town was so unproductive and draining. Three of my gifts are still not here. The postal tracking has their estimated arrival dates listed as today, tomorrow, and Wednesday. Mikayla suggested that I start praying for them. I will!

I love my big extended family. Merry Christmas to all of you.

Redirected

I have been doing the CRAZY Christmas rush thing, since the day after Thanksgiving. This week it has gotten out of hand. I have been burning the candle at both ends, spending endless hours researching on google, driving, and chasing overactive twins all through the stores of town and by yesterday my home and my mind were both about to self implode from neglect. I came rushing in at 6:30 last night, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, to pick up Abe for Pack meeting and was met with a Jordan initiated intervention; my home was spotless. It was the sweetest gift of the season so far. Where before I had been dreading caroling with scouts in 17 degree weather, I now joined Abe and his friends at a senior citizen apartment complex with a repentant heart and was met at their doors by 12 lonely and appreciative people. Yesterday evening, as I read this years addition to our story advent, I was unprepared for the emotions that I felt and I finished weeping, redirected to the true spirit of Christmas. I am often stubborn and slow to remember. I am grateful for a family who isn't.

In the World

Fred comes home today from his training convention and I think will be very glad of it. He has been eating at the best restaurants with someone else picking up the bill, has wandered through Disneyland for the first time in his life, and has generally been "schmoozed" for the last 5 days, by every vendor who finds out that he is a R.T. director with a budget to spend. He walked to church Sunday on a beautiful sunny day, and was picked up by a kind Polynesian family. He said it was such a relief to walk through those doors and leave the "worldliness" of flowing money and "dressing for success" behind. We have not been accustomed to the corporate world and he will be happy to return to his small, shared office in a sane city. Of course we will all be happy to have his peaceful, calm influence back home and the twins can't wait for the Micky Mouse suckers they've been promised.

We attended our ward Christmas party on Saturday. We enjoyed dinner and a nice program and then "Santa" came to visit with each individual child. Because of the way that we were raised I have always loved the symbol of Santa and we enjoy "playing at the game", but when my children ask questions I have always been honest with them about his reality. I think at a young age this causes some confusion because they see his influence everywhere and most adults want to allude to the magic in their presence. Lily and Sophie are experiencing this confusion. They have asked many questions and I have answered by explaining the reality of St. Nicholas and the tradition that has been carried on since his death to symbolize a good spirit of Christmas. As our ward program finished, and it was announced over the microphone, that Santa was here, Lily gasped and turning to Mikayla said, "See, Santa's not dead!" I escorted her quickly to the bathroom to try and re-explain things. When I could see that she wasn't buying into my explanation, because she had gotten a visual of him walking across the gym, I decided not to push the issue, but told her we would talk about it more at home. She stubbornly said, "No, I want to talk about it here!" I did my best not to destroy the symbol, but be truthful and we went back out to sit on his lap. She and Sophie stood in line for quite some time and finally had their turn (of course together). A very kind, well dressed, convincing Santa talked to each of them and then asked them what they wanted. Lily looked toward me, standing back from the line and said, "I want a Barbie." Unnerved, Sophie meekly said that she wanted a "heart doll", upon which Lily announced that Sophie already had one of those. I have never had my children make wish lists for Christmas, have never asked them what they wanted Santa to bring and have tried very hard to help them not focus on "getting", but of course at 4 that is still a lesson that is being learned. As Lily climbed down from Santa's lap she triumphantly announced to me what she had asked Santa to bring her. Because I do not like Barbies or what they represent and because Lily is VERY aware of this, I expressed my disappointment with her request and explained that she would not receive that gift. She was sure that I was wrong because she had asked it of Santa, not me. Not wanting to get back into a confusing subject in the middle of the gym I told her that she had to ask Santa for appropriate gifts. She wanted to know if Santa knew that and if Sophie had "told him about Barbies". The conversation finally ended in a positive light, with her perfectly contented with the candy cane that she had been given. She is a driven child and I always have my hands full trying to calm her unruly spirit, but I know she will go far, if I can last, with that kind of confidence and self determination. Sophie has her fathers talents of peaceful serenity, meek obedience and the desire to please, and they make for a perfect, though emotionally draining duo.

I was talking with my visiting teacher this week about Christmas traditions and, of all things that I am not competent to talk about, simplifying. She was telling me how she had heard a women's conference talk one year on the subject that had "changed her life". She had been in a frenzied habit of buying tons of gifts and trying to make everything balance out (if her daughter had ten things, the rest of the children must have 10 things, etc.) That year she decided each child would get one gift from "Santa" and one gift from she and her husband. I sat there thinking that we had been getting our children only one gift for many of the past years and I was still stressed out, and I realized that it is because I have still put too much emphasis on the gift. Since I'm only buying one, it must be perfectly suited-- it must be magic! I wonder if I will ever have the courage to truly simplify and gain that peace that comes from putting into practice the "true meaning of Christmas". I have been a coward for so many years.

Yesterday, Jordan had to "break up" with a girl, that he was not aware he was "dating", after a Christmas gift was prematurely and symbolically thrown at his head. After I found him in the playroom, hurt by the vehemence and struggling to understand the female mind, we had to have a talk about kindness sometimes not being kind. He has grown into such a nice young man and this adult world he is entering, can be a bit rough and tumble sometimes, and hard to come to grips with. It's hard to watch him grow up and become independent.

I have great expectations and high hopes for this week to be "a new day". Wish me luck!

Busy December

Fred left for an R.T. conference yesterday near San Diego, so that all 3 of the R.T. directors (California, Utah, Boise) could be together and Fred could get some insight into how the other two are running things. He called last night and said that he could see Disneyland out of his hotel window. We all wish we could be there with him.

Lori invited us to her stake for their annual live nativity last night. Marg and Liz and her children also came. It is outdoors and the back field is lit by hundreds of candles covered with white bags. The youth dress up and put on a sweet and simple walking tour of the city of Bethlehem where you meet the roman soldiers, the innkeepers, the shepherds, angels and of course Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus. Each year there is a live camel near "the inn", which is so memorable for the little children. It was nice to be able to stop in Decembers rush and be reminded of the true meaning of Christmas and be able to visit with family. I'm looking forward to Lori's couples party where those of us in the valley can spend some adult time together before the holidays.

Our high school Christmas concert was last night and the FX show choir (which Jordan is in) peformed 3 dances at the end. It was so much fun to watch him--I wanted to be on stage with them (I'll post pictures when I get them developed). The choir did invite all of the audience members who knew the hallelujah chorus to come up and sing with them; I did and that was fun.

Thanksgiving With the Family

Back at the farm; preparing for dinner at the Olsen's.

A lot of perfect children

Clean up

Nate in his prime....as usual.

(for those who live far away and are not used to this classic Nate pose, the belly isn't "real" ;-) Nate is still as "G.Q." as ever he was.)

Playing "Dippy-Dippy-Dip" after dinner.

Pretty Inside

There is a song entitled "The Call" from the "Prince Caspian" movie that my family hasn't stopped singing for the last week and a half. It is one of those highly addictive songs that you can't get out of your head, but it's pleasant and good and wholesome so it hasn't been annoying. The kids had it playing on YouTube while we were working on Saturday and the twins were dancing to it. Sophie danced into the kitchen and proclaimed to me, while still dancing, "I feel pretty inside when I listen to this song all the time!" I thought it was a profound thing for a 4 year old to say. It's a good measuring stick for so many other things besides music.

Our family is basking in "quality time with Dad" with the second week at Stevens-Heneger behind us. We are all getting ready for the day together in the mornings and then the older girls and Abe get a ride to school as Fred heads off to work (Jordan leaves first for a zero hour morning show choir class). Again, every evening, everyone is gathered around the table for dinner. It's surprising to realize how often we all just did our own thing for dinner, when Fred wasn't here. It's such a good thing for our family! As a couple, Fred and I are still having to make some adjustments to a schedule that we have never experienced before. Though our family is together more and at optimum times, Fred no longer has those scattered days off during the week where he and I were used to accomplishing projects and planning and dreaming. It has made Saturdays more precious and more guarded since it is the only day to accomplish time consuming things together. We are having to come up with different days and ways to get all of the deep cleaning done, so our Saturdays are not spent entirely in maintenance, as we have been so accustomed. Friday date nights are now imperative instead of optional because it is the only time alone as a couple.

One of the first adaptations that I have had to make was putting the Christmas lights on the tree myself. Traditionally I assemble the tree, Fred strings the lights (he was relegated the task after we were married, because it became obvious, very quickly, who had been blessed with the most abundant patience.) and then we all decorate it. But, since Fred didn't have any days off during the week, and because he was feeling a lot of pressure from work, I decided to be "noble" and string the lights. I did everything like Fred would have, testing every strand before stringing it, but I can tell you my mental state was not the same as Fred's always is. That quote I posted on the blog, weeks ago, about "Things I've Learned" was very accurate on this subject. Assembling and stringing took me from 6:30AM to 8:00 PM, with brief stops only to help the twins get ready for the day and help get a very quick dinner. The older children helped everyone get something to eat for the other two meals, helped me sporadically sort branches, and were otherwise, contentedly on their own. At 6:00 I realized that I would never make it to the top of the tree with the remaining functioning lights that I had, so Mikayla (as a emotional support) and I made a quick trip to Walmart to buy two more strands. When Fred walked in the door that night the tree was up but all of the twinkling lights had gone out after 30 minutes and was no longer merry and bright; neither was I! Within 10 minutes, Fred had located the blown fuse and fixed it, and me... mostly. Monday we decorated it for Family Home Evening and when we were putting on the last ornaments, the whole middle section of lights went out. Fred checked all of the fuses, but to no avail. He said he'd have to undecorate it and take off all of the lights to find the problem, but I couldn't emotionally deal with that unless I was gone shopping all day while he did it, and that has not happened yet so we have a very "special" tree right now. There have been so many other things taking up our Saturdays, which is now the only day where Fred has that kind of time that I don't know if it will get fixed this year or not. Margaret would find the problem herself, but I am learning to deal with it.

I am also trying to come to terms with the fact that I will now have to go grocery shopping on my own, with both of the twins. So far, I have made little jaunts to the store and been creative with making the groceries we have last, but it is getting to the point where creativity and bare shelves just don't complement each other. Pulling around two carts and keeping track of two overactive girls, who will not be confined to a basket seat and who constantly need to use the bathroom is not my idea of sane activities. Millions of moms do it; I have before, but I have yet to accept my place among those sorry ranks, as an indefinite task. Fred says I can do hard things; he keeps reminding me that I am a farm girl, which is exactly right-- and where I belong-- on the "farm"! Well, not to worry. My children used to pretend they were the "boxcar children" when they were little, in between my getting-up-the-courage-to-go-shopping-trips. Creativity pays off! I promise not to let anyone starve....too much.

These changes have come at the busiest time of year, so I am sure the adjustments attached to it will come more quickly with the start of the new year, but all adaptations considered, I feel so blessed to have traded the schedule of most of our married life for this one that is consistent and family oriented. I have stopped worrying so intently that my children are going to grow up without Fred, scarred by me, and am learning that peace has no price. Maybe, with his calming presence now here during the most stressful times of day, I will be reminded more often to work hard on me, so I can get to the point where I'm dancing through the house proclaiming that I feel pretty inside, all of the time, too.