Over and Over and Over Again

Eden went on her first date Wednesday with her good friend Hunter. I took pictures when he came to get her, hoping it wouldn't make him feel awkward, but he seemed flattered to be that "milestone" =). He seems like a good kid and he made is special for her. They went black-light miniature golfing with 3 other couples, then the girls were all blindfolded and taken to Pizza Hut, where the boys had embellished the atmosphere with tablecloths, candles, goblets and a rose on every girls plate. Afterward, they went back to Hunters to watch a movie and she was home 20 minutes before her 11:00 curfew (which gives Hunter big brownie points in the Mom book.=) She was so excited!

The spirit of the holidays is infusing our home and I am happy. Thanksgiving was relaxing and uniting and joyful. The ranch is such a blessing as a gathering place--no Wifi, no access to television, nowhere else to go--it forces people to interact and spend time together in old fashioned, traditional ways. Lori provided humanitarian projects and Olsen's were so good about instigating group games. The entire week has been packed and I think we were all physically exhausted but emotionally refreshed when we finally pulled in to home on Saturday afternoon. 

The only thing that made the Thanksgiving holiday less than peaceful (other than the noise and dirt and chaos=) was a nagging feeling that started last Sunday and continued to pester me all week. A sister in our ward had asked me right after Relief Society if I would share a personal experience that went along with Elder Alonso's conference talk. I had just re-listened to it while walking Olive and had some good ideas immediately come to my mind so I agreed and went home to re-read the talk, but couldn't make it past the title, which is, "Doing the Right Thing, at the Right Time, Without Delay". The first two phrases pricked my heart and the last one skewered it and suddenly every other idea became clouded in my mind and I could only think of my calling, which has been such a source of guilt and frustration for the past ...has it really been almost a year?! Fred and I have searched and hunted and visited and called and e-mailed and cleaned up records and never seem to be progressing in significant ways and have been in a calling slump the last couple months, but the phrase, "Without Delay" was so forceful that it consumed my thoughts (and here is how "skilled" I am at dodging promptings). The skewering came on Sunday which, of course, was Eden's 16th birthday so I put off "searching" that day because of all of our previous plans. Then came Monday, but Fred and I are supposed to visit as a companionship and by the time he got home from work it was time for FHE so we "couldn't" go Monday. Tuesday I was committed to chauffeuring children to choir from 4:30 to 9:00 and Wednesday I didn't take a break from preparing Thanksgiving food (except once to get dressed) from 6AM-9PM and Thursday we left for Donnelly. By the time we were halfway home from the ranch on Saturday I was feeling spiritually pummeled and I told Fred that we had to go searching for young single adults as soon as we got home. Granted, the timing was odd--only because I had belabored it so long--and so he asked why and without sharing the whole process, I told him I just HAD to. He was kind enough not to ask for more explanation and immediately agreed to go with me, so we unloaded kids and cargo--left Mikayla in charge and went out with list in hand--I, confidant that I was being adamantly prompted for a purpose. And yet, two hours later we had only found the mother of one person who was quite anxious to have us disappear. Knocking doors is terrifying to me and after summing up all my courage and using every resource available to us, I came home more discouraged than ever and not a single passionate thought to share for my Sunday assignment. This morning I woke up and scanned the talk one more time and as I read about Elder Alonso's search for his son in Mexico City, our search for Abe as a little boy on the farm came into my mind and instead of thinking of the police officer who watched us search for Abe as the villain (as I always have) I had this symbolic thought that he was me. A "good" person watching those who are searching and suffering and withholding what is of most value because of preconceived assumptions that the searchers don't care enough, aren't responsible, haven't learned their lesson, aren't deserving and may even loathe the protector. And in that moment it became so clear to me that none of those things matter. Christ wouldn't act like that. If he saw us searching, he wouldn't wait to analyze the searchers, but would come racing across the fields to bring back what was most precious. And he would do it over and over and over again. 

Quote of the week: "The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are." (John Burroughs)

Eden's First Date

THANKSGIVING MOMENTS:

Abe and Seth

Isaac and Mikayla

Braden and Caden

Lily, Sophia and Annalie

Marg, Madison and Dad

Cousins

Rob and Shelby

Boy Cousins

Family Monopoly

Fun Games