I Think I Can...I Think I Can...I Think I Can

What a whirlwind couple of weeks. It was nice to be able to relax  over the Thanksgiving holiday and breath normally.

It's interesting that as I am trying to figure out how to simplify, the climate of my life becomes immediately more intense. It started, over the last few weeks with an assignment to put together the dinner for a Stake Formal. Food planning (especially for large groups) is not my area of comfort, but my President had other responsibilities and her other counselor was getting a missionary ready to leave, so when she looked around, I was what was left. Then the flu bug hit hard, so a week was gone before I had even finalized the menu and in the midst of that I was given the assignment to teach at Auxiliary Training, which I don't normally mind, but it takes intense focus for me and I get a bit one trackish and I had two track s and two trains and well you know what happens to my stress levels.

I knew my brain had hit emotional overdrive capacity when I got so immersed in the details of those responsibilities that I didn't realize the time until I had missed the daily letter post deadline on DearElder.com for the first time since Jordan has been out, and I cried.  That was on a Wednesday.

By the following Thursday afternoon I had finalized the menu, purchased the food, was wise enough, (or overextended enough) to start delegating sufficiently so I could let go of the majority of those responsibilities until Saturday and start focusing on my lesson for the following Thursday which I was getting no inspiration for because I was too busy and because the subject was difficult.  Sis. Fisher had asked me to talk about Pres. Monson's R.S. talk on judging and bring that into a YW/Leader context. First of all, I hate hypocrisy (especially my own) and secondly how do you expound on the prophet's message, especially when it is still so fresh. After the worldwide training I tried to wriggle out of the assignment by noticing that training was now only mandated once a year, but because it was already planned and because there was a provision in the handbook  for more training if needed our stake presidency gave us permission to move forward and Sis. Fisher, my president felt it was important to follow through on a mandate from Salt Lake during Regional Training to put emphasis on the Y.W./ R.S. transition, which they have now deemed a "rescue operation".  My portion of the training just happened to be a small part of that evening.

I got no inspiration until Friday evening on my date with Fred. We had gone birthday shopping for Eden and were walking through an aisle with cosmetic mirrors and both looked into some super magnified models and started making some self evaluations and the inspiration started pouring in. It was a strenuous week to pull it all together but I used mirrors, windows, magnifying glasses, reading glasses, and camera lenses as an object lesson on judging and how we "see" the world around us. Mikayla gave  me permission to make a power point presentation using photos of her to show how perspective is everything in our judgments of ourselves and which always overflows into judgments of others. Some of the pictures were not flattering, but she didn't seem to mind—I think that's because she knows who she is and isn't worried about what people might think; I used that concept in my training as well.  It turned out well. The Spirit was there and I think we all learned something and were moved to be better because of the prophets message, so it was worth all of the stress of preparation. It is a lot of stress for 20 minutes, but it's a tall order to leave people with the feeling that it was a meeting worth leaving their families for and without the preparation the spirit is not there. Unfortunately, I am still working on making my family feel like it is worth it.

 One of the wards in our stake has decided to earn the Young Women's in Excellence by proxy for a sweet high school senior who has Down Syndrome, named Brooklyn Lowell. They have been working on it for some time now and are striving to award her an honorary medallion for Christmas.  I asked if I could be a part of that, so I am working on part of her Personal Progress along with my own…it is such a neat experience to do this for her. They have told her what they are doing and she is SO EXCITED!

Abe has been going through books so fast that I am having a hard time keeping up with stocking him with good literature to read. Every time he finishes a book he falls back to something Star Wars (which I'm not a huge fan of), so I try to keep 2-3 good books available for him but he is so fast. A few days ago he finished a book he really liked and wanted to share and asked me to read it, so now I am reading a book about hatching dragons—not my favorite genre, but I like seeing what he likes and I like that he wants to share that experience with me.  I thought I was so smart when I reviewed a 5 book series that sounded like something he would like and each book was around 350 pages long.  I was thinking that would keep him busy for awhile. I checked the first book out from the library and he finished it the next evening and asked me to check him out the next one. After this, I'm going to check out Charles Dickens for him—that'll slow him down. =) Actually, I love that he's a reader. In January he has to read some historical fiction, I'm going to suggest "The Bronze Bow". It'll be interesting to see if he likes it as much as Jordan did.

Mikayla's best friend's father passed away suddenly last week.  We heard about it a few hours later and I picked Mikayla up from school and we rushed over there. She just cried in Mikayla's arms. It is so hard to know what to do for someone who is experiencing that kind of mourning except to just be there and let them know that you love them. The funeral was on Eden's birthday, right after an early morning youth temple trip so we weren't able to switch gears and make it "her" day until the evening. But to her credit, she appreciated the day for what it was and made it all a beautiful experience. I was proud of her.

She made it past auditions and into two of the 2011 Music Theatre of Idaho productions. She will be Betsy in "The Secret Garden" at the end of April-beginning of May, and an extra in the Wizard of Oz the end of October-beginning of November. There were over 300 people who auditioned and without any experience I think she has been very successful. She is excited—I am nervous. I will stick with her like glue and we'll see what the next year has in store and then decide whether to pursue that opportunity or not. It should be a wild ride. Because the plays are performed in the Nampa Civic Center they are a bit pricey for a family, so we will have to start saving up now, so we can even go watch her, but it will be a fun, cultural experience for all of us.

The Young Artist's Concert Choir is going on tour in April to San Francisco. If Mikayla and Eden want to go, they each have to earn $350. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole idea; it's so much money—so far away from home. You know me, I just want all my kids to stay here in the back yard =) They are supposed to sell calendars and concert tickets as a fund raiser, but the calendars are nice but they are priced at $10 and you can get them at the dollar store.  They went out selling for a couple hours last week and sold only two. We're just hoping babysitting picks up.=)

Last week, one of Jordan's best friends went into the MTC. I had tried to prepare his mother (who is an emotional kindred spirit for the "drop off". She called me from Provo as she was pulling away from the MTC, to tell me that Jordan was standing  there waiting for her son Braiden. We were both crying on the phone. It was such a tender mercy for her to have Jordan there and such a tender mercy for me because as she was leaving she asked if there was any message he wanted her to take back to his family and he said something in Spanish, which he then translated to her as, "I love you Mom." She said he looked great and the spirit was just radiating out of his eyes.  He flies out on Monday and will get to call us on his layover that evening. I'm so excited and so nervous. This is the real deal.

Being together was so nice at the ranch. Playing with cousins in the snow is Utopic for my children and sitting by the fire, without the responsibilities of home, working on Humanitarian projects is Utopic for me. Thanks to all who helped. It was so great to have all of the young girls pitching in. It's one of my favorite traditions.

Can't wait for more family holiday fun.   All my love,

Rach