Going..........Going.............

I started packing kitchen paraphernalia to stock Jordan's apartment, this weekend. It's a strange feeling to do that kind of packing. There's something more final about packing pots and pans then just packing mess kits for scout camp. On Friday, I sat down at the computer to update job charts for the summer and when I realized I had to delete Jordan's from the list it made me all sentimental. He is so busy, that we don't see him much these days, which I guess is a good weaning process, but it makes me feel kind of panicky, like time is sifting through my fingers and I can't hold it back. I don't really want to hold it back, just put these last scenes in slow motion so I can relish them in that dramatic fashion. Jordan's last day of seminary was Friday and I think the Seniors were all a little melancholy about that. We attended the graduation ceremony last night and though I tried to go in emotionally prepared, the first song, a "Sisters in Zion--Armies of Helaman" arrangement, sung by all of the Seniors, put me in a tail spin and when Pres. Walker, who was sitting directly in front of me, reached behind and squeezed my hand, it was no use trying to hold the emotions in. I could see by the faces of the mothers afterward, that some of them had the same difficulty. However, I am grateful that we were able to experience that graduation before Jordan's high school graduation, because as I watched him standing in front of us, looking for all the world, like a full time missionary, with his testimony shining from his face, surrounded by GOOD friends, I had this incredible feeling wash over me that he would be okay--that he wasn't leaving alone--that someone else would be watching over him while I couldn't and that instead of having to watch him fly away we would be watching him soar overhead. Still, I can't help but worry that the day he walks out that door, I (like Sis. Hinckley did when her first son left home) may have to lock myself in the bathroom

until I stop crying.

We finally got our garden in Saturday. We never quite get around to planting our spring crops on time and always seem to finally put them in the ground with the summer starts, so they will have a shorter season, but at least they are in. By the time we were done, I remembered why we always procrastinate this family "bonding" activity. It's because we all start out with that same excitement and anticipation for the symbolic start of a season and the eagerness of the youngest children turns a bit chaotic, as all little hands grab carrot or lettuce or radish seed packets, containing microscopic granules that must be guided and perfectly placed and suddenly they are donning trowels and hoes that end up being used in already planted soil, or start crying because they have to wait "forever" to help while you guide two other children's "helping" hands. Mikayla stuck with it, but Jordan had to keep running in and out between other appointments and Eden just wanted to dance with the hose, which ended up being her demise when she started literally testing the water on her big brother. We finally finished around 9PM, most of us dirty, one of us damp, one of us dripping, at least one uptight and all of us tired. Oh, but it will all be worth it when those shoots start poking out of the ground!

It's Freds' 42nd birthday today. I had to sneak out of the house at 5:30 and go grocery shopping this morning so I could feed him breakfast in bed. With all of the whirlwind that is Jordan, I forgot to prepare that little detail. I have a cake just coming out of the oven and I need to try to get this "Monday" house back to some resemblance of a home, and then the twins and I are off to finish birthday gift details in town before Fred makes it home for a late lunch. What adventure!