Personal Ponderings

Eden received her Patriarchal Blessing last Sunday and invited Fred and I to accompany her. She was spiritually prepared and it was a unique and tender experience as so much of her blessing seemed to mirror my own in so many ways. And though of course it was personal to her, it almost felt as though I was hearing Elder Porter speak those words again, to me. I shared my blessing with Eden when we got home and she was surprised to see the similarities. It was a bonding moment and a reaffirmation that blessings are inspired and come from our Heavenly Father.

Abe dejectedly started school last Wednesday and stayed dejected until Friday when he was finally unleashed in a classroom that was wall-to-wall full of books and connected with the teacher who shares his passion for them. The same day he came home with the "exciting" news that his school would host a 6th grade sleepover at the school for an end of year party next May. Of course the word "sleepover" raises all my warning flags and the words "11 year olds" and "co-ed" and "school-sponsored" start the crashing mother meter symbols, so I eased him into that disappointment with talk of me chaperoning and maybe staying until 10PM and then going home and he seemed alright with that compromise. The same day I went with Eden to pick up her High School schedule and pay registration fees and ended up in an hour long line, in front of a young man and young woman who had just met and were comparing their views on religion, sexuality, medications, politics, philosophy and family, friend and every other kind of relationships. It was not an enlightening conversation and a reminder that summer break is over and I am once again sending my children into the front lines of the battlefield. I hope their armour is in good condition! I hope mine is!

Fred and I were able to go on a fun date last Friday. Elder Walker's son Brett (who I knew well from High School) was in town with his wife and children performing a bluegrass/country concert. Five years ago one of their daughters asked for a guitar, which Brett found at a garage sale for $30, then another asked for a banjo and it exploded from there. Four and a half years ago, they sold their brand new house, bought a 30 foot motor home, packed in their 7 children and started travelling the country looking for the roots of bluegrass and the people who could teach their children. They are still living in their motor home, but have finally decided to settle down in Nashville and their 4 oldest daughters, who have started a band called "The Red Head Express" are professionally recording an album the end of this year. It was such a fun concert. Half of the audience was Walker family, so many of whom we love, so that added to the experience. Their whole family participated and it was impressive to see what can be accomplished in that short amount of time if you spend 7-8 hours a day practising. Except for the piano, none of them had ever played another musical instrument and now they are playing guitar, banjo, mandolin, fiddle, bass and some instrument I've never even seen and are singing 4 part harmony, to many other people's songs and have written 50 of their own. As the mother of "musicians" I was blown away. I wish we could have afforded to take all of our kids--especially Mikayla and Eden.

Speaking of Mikayla--I am not at all sure I am going to make it through this phase of the dating years in any form of stability. High School was a security of sorts--all of my high school kids have had a goal of not pairing off and I've known all of their dates well. Now "older" young men--strangers to me-- are asking Mikayla out and I have suddenly become a Facebook Stalker--checking their backgrounds--their pictures--their posts, wanting to meet them at the door with a check-list, but restraining myself....barely. This past Thursday, Friday and Saturday, she was with a different young man each of the three days and only one passed my mother radar, which is set on ultra hyper-sensitive. It's not emotionally pretty!

On the subject of young men, I was at a reception last weekend and was talking to a friend, when I noticed her son (whom I haven't seen in awhile) sitting with a table of girls. It was obvious that he had been working out significantly and grown quite physically handsome over the past few years. I made a complimentary comment about it to his mother and not seeming at all pleased, she lamented that it seemed that his body and "the ladies" were the most important things to him right now and that he had no plans to serve a mission and I realized that I have been worrying too much about the wrong things. It sounds awful, but I've been worrying and stressing over Jordan's physical health--superficially traumatized that my "Adonis" son would disappear in 2 years and would come back a different person, but that conversation was a bold reminder that he should come back different in two years! I am extremely blessed that he is in the right place--at the right time--focusing on the right things--and I am so grateful for how beautiful he is becoming spiritually, as we bask in the lessons of his letters. No doubt about it, our bodies are important, but need to be balanced with our spirits and it is obvious that he is hard at work on that. What a blessing to watch him be humble and teachable, to see him serving selflessly, for his obedience this past year. I am so proud of the choices he is making now and the choices that he made previously to get him where he is. I can see the blessings in his life and so hugely in ours. He keeps teaching me valuable life lessons through his example and the personal ponderings that pre-occupy my thoughts because of his absence. The gospel is a beautiful thing! My grasp of it is still so embryonic but I am so grateful for my children who force me out of my "protected" environment and encourage me to find out who I am and who I really want to BE!