Stepping Out on a Limb

Mikayla is back and I'm so grateful! she got in late Thursday night and shared her experiences with us while I was in bed, tucked under my covers. It was so nice to have her home on Friday morning, that we were both still in our dog walking clothes at noon, talking about life and dreams. She had a great time but it was good to know that she did get a bit homesick.=)

Campaign week is over and Abe didn't secure an officer position (it seems that half the class had the same idea and over 15 of the 33 ended up competing for vice president.=). But, he met new people, opened his eyes to possibilities, invested himself (even if it was just for two weeks) and good has come from it. He seems to get off the bus now a happier boy.

Stake Conference was this weekend. Pres. Peterson, the first counselor in our Stake Presidency, gave us direction from our area presidency to get involved in missionary work by creating a profile on mormon.org and then linking it to any of our other social media sites like Facebook and Blogger. I created an lds profile when the church originally announced the proposed launch and was asking for the first 1000 entries before going public, but imagine my surprise when Pres. Peterson started his presentation and pulled up a few pictures, including mine, on the website on the huge church screen. I will admit that I was uncomfortably self conscious and was glad when he finally moved on. Why is that?

I have always had the extended family blog set on private, so I can post personal information and feel protected with our communications, but with so much encouragement and council from the church to get involved in letting our voices be heard online, I have felt a pull and prodding to step into that media ring and created a personal blog over a year ago with that intention but during the creation process an acquaintance just randomly found it and I suddenly felt exposed and panicked and without taking the time to re-write my entries for an unseen audience I have felt too vulnerable to make it public. However, I know it's a medium that I feel a passion to contribute to and with the extra nudge I am taking the council to heart and will spend the next few weeks editing and stepping out onto a limb.

I have come to the realization that I am a Facebook snob. I've never liked the forum and have a profile only to keep linked to my favorite youth, but after conference I linked my mormon.org profile to my Facebook and went "searching" for all of my long lost family and found dozens of cousins/aunts/uncles and added them. I will probably still not use the site much--it just doesn't fit my personality--but it's a step at reaching out and linking, which I am horrendous at. Many avenues of missionary work terrify me and though opening my heart to the "world" is scary, I feel compelled to share my testimony in a literary way, and knowing that I am an "open book" may help me refine my thoughts and feelings and the way I express myself. And though it is doubtful that anyone will actually read a blog that is just floating out over the computer waves, I will be demonstrating obedience, will most assuredly strengthen my own testimony and may well shorten the long, laborious battle of learning to speak with the "tongue of angels". I think the assignment to create a mormon.org profile might just push Fred to the brink of internal combustion =) as his weekly letters to Jordan seriously test his loathe of writing.

I'm have been weighing out my options for school. the Graphic Design program at Stevens-Henager starts on October 10th. the Master Gardner classes start in January and BYU Online classes start whenever I find the money and register. I spent hours on the phone yesterday gleaning information from counsellors and administrators trying to pin down the best path for me right now. I set a goal to have it all figured out by my birthday, which is today, and I have determined that the underlying most important thing to me is to finish what I started and that means getting my degree from BYU. It sounds selfish, when I have educational opportunity free in front of me, but there will always be that scar of dropping out if I don't do this and then I can always get more education for free, so we are just going to find a way to make it work. I admit that I am nervous...in fact downright scared of my capacity. I am scared of failure, Saturday night at the adult session of conference, Pres. Quenzer, the second counselor in our stake presidency said that commitment was like the full moon and the longer you wait, the more it diminishes and I don't want to be a "sliver". 

Jordan says an apostle (or possibly even Pres. Monson) will be visiting his area for a conference on Oct. 15. I am 3/4 of the way through his lengthy biography and though my confirmation of his prophetic calling was seared into my heart at the general conference in which he first presided as THE prophet, seer and revelator, it has not been until my reading of this book that I have felt that overwhelming personal LOVE for him that I had cultivated for President Hinckley. I have learned much about his life, but more especially about his Christlike quality of focusing on the one. I hope Jordan gets to look into his eyes and see the Spirit of God emanating there.

Kindred Spirits