Autumn Around the Corner

Sunday, Sept. 16:
It was stake conference today and so we are blessed with all of these extra afternoon hours that we aren't accustomed to having. It feels relaxing and peaceful. I have been pondering a statement that our stake President quoted from Pres. Howard W. Hunter this morning. "If our lives and our faith are centered on Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong." I looked it up online and found that the quote continues with..."On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right." It made me reflect on yesterday, and other discouraging days, as Fred and I spent all morning and afternoon in yard maintenance, mowing, edging, weed-wacking, hoeing and cleaning, then sat down to talk about our temporal dreams, which sometimes feel SO FAR AWAY and I cried. As our family grows the house feels smaller and smaller and fitting everyone and their things into bedrooms gets more and more challenging. I can't help but think about my children coming home with families of their own and having no place to stay, as those days are just around the corner. Sometimes these farm girl yearnings of mine get so strong that I drive past open fields and my heart actually constricts for want of space. But, Fred keeps reminding me life is here and now--it's all around us--wherever we are, in whatever circumstances and Pres. Hunters quote helped me to once again cling to the fact that only Christ can bring peace--not farmers fields--not space, not quiet, country places--unless I have righteous perspectives and continual daily diligence in the things that really matter. Sometimes that daily part gets difficult when it doesn't seem to be making a dent in our dreams but maybe we have the wrong dreams.

In other areas of challenge, Abe has a science teacher this year who has assigned an intense bug euthanizing/ collecting project. Being raised in this "catch and release" family mentality his conscience just can't deal with the thought and he finally divulged as much to me last week. I offered to go to battle for him, if he was willing to stand behind the consequences, which he claimed he was. But, after a few diplomatic conversations with the teacher and ultimately the Principle, we have not been able to alter the curriculum, just given leeway to use insects that are already dead, but which must be in pristine condition and which must consist of 30 different specimens. And so we have to face a crossroads. Is this goal plausible? Do we support his possible failure of this particular assignment (which is huge) if it's not--due to convictions? Do we just make our best effort, in the confines that we have and hope it's good enough? Or, do we act against conscience and give in to the pressure in educations name. I can imagine you know which way I lean and of course my leaning encourages my son. Our stake president related a story today about bees and advice that his father always gave him (until a particularly bad "swarming" experience) that if he would leave the bees alone, they would leave him alone. He compared that to the world and told us that we most definitely cannot have that mentality. We must be constantly engaged, as Captain Moroni was, in defending ourselves from the enemy. It gave me courage to keep making a stand (even though this is personal and not necessarily doctrinal) and Pres. Holland's most recent YSA Fireside talk is helping me to determine the appropriate way to in which to do that. I don't enjoy being on the outside, or feeling isolated in my opinions. I don't want to be fanatical; I appreciate that everyone has their different perspectives, but my convictions often feel unique and even so, I have to follow them if I want inner peace. When a child is courageous enough to stand up for that same reason, I certainly can't get weak in the knees and I have found that the best solution to that problem is just to humble myself and kneel down. Having done that, we are moving ahead, conscience in tact, so if any of you find any dead insects--I know, lovely thought-- (6 legs no stingers), in good condition, pin them to a cardboard and save them for us. They may just become quite valuable and you might accumulate some serious bargaining prowess, because we are going to need all the help we can get! =)

The weather is still beautiful here, though the nights and mornings are getting cooler and lasting longer, and I can feel Autumn around the corner. I'm not looking forward to the chill outside but am longing for the internal warmth of the upcoming holidays. What a perfect time to be preparing to be together as a family.

I will write two more letters to my darling missionary boy--he will probably only be able to send us one more back. I will miss his letters, but no longer will I have to miss him!=) "So happy". I will try and restrain myself at the airport, so that I won't embarrass him too much, but my heart will be overflowing. I can imagine that his will be considerably pulled as he will have left a little bit of it in Chile...we want it there.=) I mentioned to Fred that I was arranging for Jordan's official release through the stake executive secretary a few days ago and he got suddenly and overwhelmingly choked up. As happy as I am to be getting my boy back, I know it won't come without being accompanied by hard things. That, I don't look forward to.

Quote of the Week:
"So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. and never mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed..."--Dr. Seuss