"But If Not..."

Isn't time a funny thing!? Mikayla was in the MTC for 12 days and it felt like a week--she's been in the mission field for a week and it feels like 12 days...and then some! =) Saturday, Fred and I were working in the yard all day and he had his garage stereo outside. An old John Denver song,"Rocky Mountain High" came on the air and I couldn't help but think of Mikayla and wonder what she was experiencing in Colorado. Everything, even an old country song, brings her to our minds.

Month's ago Mom left some of her old family videos with Fred so he could digitize them. He put most of them on the computer then, but I just never got around to watching them until Memorial Day morning, when I remembered and asked Fred to pull them up. I walked in the room and there was Grandpa Higginson talking and feeding his horses on the dry farm and not being able to make it through "The Last Fierce Charge". I didn't make it through 5 seconds before I started bawling. I had forgotten about some of those memories, but I now feel fairly confident that I can blame all of my sensitivities on him. =) I only saw about 15 minutes before we had to leave but what a treasure! I promise to work on those recordings this summer and see if I can edit them up nicely so everyone can have access to them. It was fun to see so many people who are now gone and it made visiting the family gravesites more meaningful. Star cemetery is always simple, because all of our family are together, but I always have trouble finding all of the headstones in Meridian. We found Grandma and Grandpa's easily and Christopher's and Baby Jonathon's, but we couldn't find Joyleen's baby girl or baby Susan. I also thought that Grandma's parents were there, but we couldn't find them either. I guess I need to get a map.

Jordan's best friend from high school is getting married on Saturday and invited us to the sealing. I LOVE watching these young kids start this part of their lives! It is such a sweet gift that they give us when we are able to be a part of that spiritual experience in the temple. It's especially memorable when that experience is in Boise, as it brings back such young memories.

We watched the recorded funeral services of Sis. Monson on Sunday evening. It was a powerful tribute to a quiet, cheerful, gracious lady. The camera only showed the prophet at the very end, but it was a sad and somber face that the world rarely sees and it was painful to witness. I was sitting by Fred on the couch and he reached over and took my hand and said, "I hope we never have to go through that. I hope that the millenium comes and we are both just twinkled." Oh, I hope so too, "but if not..." (one of my favorite conference talks of all time!) we still have eternity.

I took the kids to the library this afternoon and as I walked in, there was an entire wall of Elders on the computers, writing letters home. We still hadn't received our first letter from Mikayla in the field and I wanted to go up and hug them all, but I restrained myself.=) (Jordan said I shouldn't have) =) I did take my time looking through the movie shelves, which were directly in front of the computers, just because it made me happy to watch them, until two of them finished and came over and started looking through the movies on the opposite side, making immature comments to each other about different movies that they had seen and loved or hated. I'm sure they had no idea that I was watching them, or listening, but I was instantly disappointed. Why is that? I didn't even know these boys, and some of them seemed so very young, but I wanted them to be focused pillars. I wanted to look up to them, even at my age and with all my life experience. I still wanted that badge to change them. I wanted them to remember who they are representing at every moment. And it's funny because my badge isn't visible, but I wear one too and I am sure that people are watching me often, when I least expect it, and are disappointed that I am not always a focused pillar either. Because of the divinity within us, I think almost all of us want other people to be "good". We want them to be better than we are being. We want to look up. I guess I should stop putting that responsibility of lifting on other people's shoulders and spend more time reaching up instead.

Gathering flowers for Memorial Day

Abe's hairdo after hanging his head out the window like a dog

Star Cemetery at Jared's headstone

At Grandma/ Grandpa Higginson's headstone

At Grandma/ Grandpa Jones's headstones

Looking for headstones

Abe's beloved "Rabbit" (It's now a game for the twins to steal him and dress him up") =)

Fred and Abe working on a side yard path

Unfortunately it sank and spread after filling it in with sand, but it's still better than the mud and cinder blocks

Still one of Abe, Lily and Sophia's favorite "quiet" activities on Sunday