Today and Tomorrow

This past week was QUIET!!! Eden, Lily and Sophie were gone Mon-Thu to the ranch for the Granddaughter Retreat, Fred was at work during the days and Abe and I just kinda bumped around like balls on a billiard table--still...still...rolling...ricochet...still...still. We both like quiet time (don't everyone gasp in shock and amazement all at once), and did enjoy the peace, but we missed our girls. It's good to have everyone home again, filling up the house with the buzz of activity and closeness. I know my girls enjoyed their time, though they all seemed happy to get home and out of the chaos (much of which I am sure they were accessories to), but I'm not so sure about my Mom.=s My sister-in-law, who lives close and is witness to much more than any of us, said my Mom was amazing and enjoyed the time together, but from my vantage point (only at retreat's end) she looked worn thin and incredibly ready to be done. I can't imagine 19 girls running through my house without a strictly structured agenda and chore list accountability (too much exposure to girls camp). "Not much fun for little harpo", I understand, but much less stress for the hostess, which is why I rarely am one. =) I'm not naive, I'm sure my daughters were party to some of the "aha" moments that have been trickling down and were probably high on the list of those who could have been more disciplined and helpful. I love the idea and potential of the tradition that Mom was so brave and kind to start, but for sanity's sake, it seems that something has to change so it's not so stressful on the front or back end.  If the age were raised to 14, half of the girls attendance (mine included) would be put on hold for a few 'waiting' years,  but my Mom might end up with a manageable, bonding experience, instead of mayhem. Of course I would bet it's the older girls, mine leading the crowd, who are staying up all hours of the night, so maybe she'd prefer just to keep the younger half, who aren't so wiley yet, but then no work gets done. Suggesting that anything change doesn't make me a popular voice with the other families (many of who probably have better behaved children because they are coming from better behaved mothers), but I can imagine that if something isn't tweaked, the tradition will quickly die a grievous death, if it hasn't already.  How close am I on this one my Mother dear? 

The upcoming week is my family's final hurrah, before school starts the next week. I'm thinking the activities will have to include last minute finishes for school clothes and supply shopping and transitioning into a better sleep schedule, which doesn't seem so "hurrah-ish", but it's one of those "in the end" kind of joys. Jordan comes home next Monday and leaves with Katie that Thursday, for a week, before returning back home for two. Then Tessia, Mikayla's best friend and a dear family friend, gets married and Jordan is back off to school. Not much wants to stand still here, except sometimes me. I guess I'm outvoted. =)

Fred was called into the Elders Quorum presidency today. He seems excited about serving in that capacity again, especially with our president, who is such a nut, but has a rock of a testimony. He still hasn't been officially released as a ward missionary and was doing double duty this week, but I don't think he minds that either. I'm not sure how excited I am. That means we will have to start being good little boys and girls and support the activities, which are almost always sport related. What? Do they think we are all young and athletic? When I started whining to Fred about it, his answer was a quote from a member of our stake presidency. "This is not a church of what can I get out of it--it is a church of what can I contribute." Oh sure, bring that up! =) I guess that means I need to be more anxiously engaged in attending my weeknight R.S. meetings too. Ah, nuts! And I was so enjoying my lulling passivity.

We attended a reception this weekend. It was decorated very elegantly, all white lights and gauzy draping and pale pink roses, but neither the bride or groom seemed very enthusiastic. I don't know their personalities very well, so I wouldn't know how they were really feeling, but their behavior was a little different then I'm used to seeing from newlyweds. Maybe it was just a long day, but they seemed more bored than excited. My little girls told me they succumbed to the shoving cake into each others mouth tradition, while we were there. I'm glad I didn't see because that is probably my BIGGEST reception pet peeve--I just can't imagine that mentality on a wedding day, but we're all so different. I will have to remember to remind my children about my expectations of refinement and respect for their day and their spouse so no one has to line up for mother beatings on their wedding night! =) Oh the irony! (How about that mentality?) =)

So, another difficult week for Fred and I, as we learned that a friend, whom we both admired and served with in the past, was arrested, has admitted to some charges, and is now facing possible life in prison, if convicted. Another poor family suffering because of the clutches of the adversary. How do we ensure that we will stay strong and on the path of discipleship? It has me thinking on the "small and simple things" each and every day--the threads that can turn into either flaxen cords or woven tapestries. Fred and I were still mourning the loss today when he said something that I thought was so important. He was talking about how we all struggle and fall short and how helpless if feels when someone chooses pain and then he said, "I guess it doesn't really matter what he's done in the past, all that matters at this point, is what he needs to do now." I guess that's true for all of us. One of my absolutely favorite quotes is from the book Middlemarch, by George Elliot. "It is never too late to be what you might have been." I guess that is the full essence of the atonement. Whether facing an earthly jury or just wrestling with our own tendencies towards the natural man, we all require that saving gift in our lives. Without it we each face a devastating spiritual prison sentence. With it, we each have hope for exaltation, no matter what our past sins or weaknesses, if we can just keep the faith and endure, day by day, being obedient, line upon line. Sometimes that all seems so vast and overwhelming, but I love what Elder Bednar has said, "If today you are a little bit better than you were yesterday, then that's enough. And, if tomorrow you are a little bit better than you were today, then that's enough." That seems achievable, so I guess we each just keep working on today and tomorrow.

Quote of the Week:"The hell to be endured hereafter, of which theology tells, is no worse than the hell we make for ourselves in this world by habitually fashioning our characters in the wrong way. Could the young but realize how soon they will become mere walking bundles of habits, they would give more heed to their conduct while in the plastic state. We are spinning our fates, good or evil, and never to be undone. Every smallest stroke of virtue or of vice leaves its never so little scar. The drunken Rip Van Winkle, in Jefferson's play, excuses himself for every fresh dereliction by saying, "I won't count this time!" Well! He may not count it, and a kind Heaven may not count it; but it is being counted none the less. Down among his nerve-cells and fibers the molecules are counting it, registering and storing it up to be used against him when the next temptation comes. Nothing we ever do is, in strict scientific literalness, wiped out. Of course this has its good side as well as its bad one. As we become permanent drunkards by so many separate drinks, so we become saints in the moral, and authorities and experts in the practical and scientific spheres, by so many separate acts and hours of work. Let no youth have any anxiety about the upshot of his education, whatever the line of it may be. If he keeps faithfully busy each hour of the working-day, he may safely leave the final result to itself. He can with perfect certainty count on waking up some fine morning, to find himself one of the competent ones of his generation, in whatever pursuit he may have singled out" (Ernest L. Wilkinson--from the talk "Flaxen Threads"--by Carlos E. Assay)