Letting Go

Jordan left on Wednesday. Fred and I left on a belated anniversary retreat Thursday. We had wanted to go the weekend of our anniversary, but our calendars have been so full this month that this was as close as we could get. The timing was impeccable -- serendipitously. Instead of being home, feeling a void, Fred and I were strolling through the parks in downtown Boise, having hour long, uninterrupted conversations with no time lines, no responsibilities, no schedules. From Thursday evening through Saturday afternoon our little world slowed down enough to ponder and find peace. Every year that we haven't had a baby at home, we have tried to go on an overnight anniversary get-away where we leave after school and come home the next day before dinner, but this is the longest we have ever been gone together, without our children, in 18 years and that extra day made it euphoric! Away from the stresses of life, and with Fred by me every second, and without reminders of Jordan's absence surrounding me, letting him go emotionally, felt healthy and natural and uniting -- like a great accomplishment that Fred and I had achieved together. Wednesday was hard, but Thursday and Friday and Saturday were healing. As we headed home on Saturday, we turned on the radio in the middle of a country song and the lyrics at that exact moment just happened to be,

"...Remember when we said when we turned gray

When the children grow up and move away

We won't be sad, we'll be glad

For all the life we've had

And we'll remember when..."

And as we pulled into the gas station to fill up our little Geo and head home, the tears that hadn't been there for three days just started to flow. Sometimes you just have to have a good cry. Today we talked to Jordan on speaker phone, gathered on a blanket in the back yard and it was a happy, fun occasion--no tears! He is having a good experience and learning valuable lessons about life away from home, in a positive environment, and I am joyful that I have been blessed with this good son, who has contributed so greatly to the happiness of our home.

Mikayla and Eden just came upstairs and tried to talk me into taking a Sunday walk with them. The sky has turned gray and ominous, the wind is kicking up and rain looks minutes away so I turned them down (we got caught in a downpour last Sunday). I have no wish to go running through the rain again, with neighbors driving out in their minivans to rescue us. So, both girls tried to give me a guilt trip, using Elder Bednar's "Things As They Really Are" talk about my computer usage ;-) However, since I have spent all day with them and I am not "twittering" "social networking" or "gaming", but journaling and writing letters to my family they had to give in (though not easily--they love it when they can use the words of prophets to try and get their way;-) I love that they are trying--I'm glad that they are listening. Elder Bednars message was so profound. I've heard it three times now and every time I am transfixed. I don't care who you are or what technical habits you have, his talk will force personal inventory. "We thank thee O God for a prophet, to guide us in these latter days"!

Four more days of school and then we head off to Girls Camp and then....Aaaaahhh, sweet summer!

JORDAN'S GRADUATION:

"Pomp and Circumstance"

"Listening to the Speeches"

Walking toward "Freedom"

Happy Friends

Happier Friends

ANNIVERSARY RETREAT:

No Cooking Required

A pretty breakfast delivered in our hotel room

Lots of Walks:

Enjoying the goldfish pond at the Boise Train Depot

Exploring the stalagtite cave

Baby ducklings walking on the lily pads in Kathryn Albertsons Park

Watching the blue herron

Looking for frogs


One of three deer that literally crossed our path


A tiny turtle we spotted

...Gone

For more than a year my emotions have been relatively volatile, with Jordan blazing this "going" trail, and through it all Fred has been a rock. Yesterday, "lasts" started kicking in -- last weekend, last concert, last home teaching visit together, last time dragging Jordan's weary bones out of bed for an early morning Sunday meeting, last Sunday walk (in the rain)...and Fred's rock has started crumbling... and now Jordan is getting sentimental, and I? -- Well, I am an emotional train wreck!!! I asked Mom how she did this nine times, and she said that she just always thought about it being the chance for her children to find the joy that she had, and about them facing a great adventure and it wasn't hard, and though I do feel all those things and I'm so excited for Jordan, it doesn't seem to make the hole he's leaving any less real. I walked past the big girls bedroom Thursday night and I could hear the guitar and singing, so I cracked the door and peeked in. Jordan was playing the guitar and he and Mikayla and Eden were all improvising three part harmony to some popular music. I could tell by their faces that they knew this was one of those "lasts", and it made my heart just ache...you know that fulfilling kind of ache when you've experienced something great and it's coming to a culmination. Jordan has been such a huge part of the dynamics of our family and it will be a big adjustment for us all.

Thank you to all of the family that could come and help make Jordan's Send Off party memorable. It was good to be together. Joseph and Camille drove all the way down from McCall and turned back around in less than 2 hours to drive back up. That huge sacrifice was above and beyond the call of duty but it meant a lot to Jordan and to us. The FX concert that night was fun with Marg and Liz and some of the cousins attending with us. If you can believe it, I forgot my camera, but a friend e-mailed me a picture of Jordan singing one of the songs and I have another friend who took video of the concert and will burn it for me, so I will post parts of that when I get it.

We went to Jordan's graduation on Monday, which was a fun milestone to experience with him. It's all really starting to sink in and he is seeming so contemplative these last few days. Dillon (Jordan's best friend) was over last night before the boys left for an all night graduation party, and they were talking about upcoming plans which varied between apartment family home evening and scripture study to mountain climbing expeditions and I found my thoughts bouncing between exhilaration and anxiety as I listened to their enthusiasm for the future. They seem to have no fear!

We just found out that our school board has approved the change for this Fall's kindergarten schedule to be changed from the traditional M-F half days to M/W or T/Th and every other Friday for the full 7 hour block. Of course I'm frustrated, as are many other parents, especially because we didn't have a voice in the process. I've talked to the school board chair and have a meeting with the elementary school principle this week, but I have been looking at all of my options. The charter school here is full and their kindergarten is M-F full days, so that's not an option. I've looked into K12, which is the charter home school founded by William Bennett. Mindy did that curriculum with Matthew for kindergarten and LOVED it, but it is very intense (4-5 hours a day). I'm so disappointed that the trend keeps moving toward taking younger and younger children out of the homes for longer periods of time, especially as my last two armor up for battle. I will have to decide soon what I want to do, because K12 only has a certain amount of charter spots and then they close enrollment and I need to mentally prepare Lily and Sophie if they are going to have to experience that inconsistent schedule of our elementary. I'm trying to weigh this out carefully. I know I'm feeling vulnerable right now with Jordan leaving and the twins being my last two at home, but that also does present possibilities that didn't seem optimal before. I keep thinking I have a plan mapped out for the future and then life keeps changing. The spontaneity keeps me on my toes and keeps the old heart pumping.

Yesterday, as we were driving back from visiting family graves at the Star cemetery, Lily was asking Jordan and Mikayla how to say different words in Spanish. She must have decided that words weren't much of a challenge because she finally said, "How do you say, 'I'm planting weeds and if you need me, I'll be walking up on the hill?" She wasn't joking -- she has such a unique personality.

We still don't have a Bishop (I mean we have one, but he's now living in Oklahoma) and we are feeling a little fatherless. I guess these things take time. President Walker was replaced in the stake presidency, a few weeks ago, by his son, who was working as the High Council YW representative, so that has been an easy transition for most of us -- it would have been difficult for anyone else to fill those shoes. We are now excitedly waiting for Pres. and Sis. Walker's mission call.

It is now Wednesday afternoon, and I have been writing this blog for over a week (thus the choppy subject changing). I just fed Jordan and all of his roommates their last "mother brunch"and said goodbye. I was proud of myself for smiling and waving as he drove away. I didn't cry until I came inside and shut the door. He said he'd call as soon as he gets there and we'll talk tonight with our computer camera, but that is a hard goodbye! He had an early breakfast date with a good friend girl this morning and I think that was a hard goodbye as well. We love our boy!

Jordan singing "Knights of the Round Table" in his FX Show Concert:


A Nice Sunday Walk Interrupted by a Sudden Downpour (We all got drenched!):




The video Mikayla and I made for Jordan's Send Off party (she had to diminish the quality significantly to get it to fit on the blog, so it's pretty blurry):

Jordan and his "roomies" for Spokane


Freedom!

Last hugs and kisses

The adventure begins!

Going..........Going.............

I started packing kitchen paraphernalia to stock Jordan's apartment, this weekend. It's a strange feeling to do that kind of packing. There's something more final about packing pots and pans then just packing mess kits for scout camp. On Friday, I sat down at the computer to update job charts for the summer and when I realized I had to delete Jordan's from the list it made me all sentimental. He is so busy, that we don't see him much these days, which I guess is a good weaning process, but it makes me feel kind of panicky, like time is sifting through my fingers and I can't hold it back. I don't really want to hold it back, just put these last scenes in slow motion so I can relish them in that dramatic fashion. Jordan's last day of seminary was Friday and I think the Seniors were all a little melancholy about that. We attended the graduation ceremony last night and though I tried to go in emotionally prepared, the first song, a "Sisters in Zion--Armies of Helaman" arrangement, sung by all of the Seniors, put me in a tail spin and when Pres. Walker, who was sitting directly in front of me, reached behind and squeezed my hand, it was no use trying to hold the emotions in. I could see by the faces of the mothers afterward, that some of them had the same difficulty. However, I am grateful that we were able to experience that graduation before Jordan's high school graduation, because as I watched him standing in front of us, looking for all the world, like a full time missionary, with his testimony shining from his face, surrounded by GOOD friends, I had this incredible feeling wash over me that he would be okay--that he wasn't leaving alone--that someone else would be watching over him while I couldn't and that instead of having to watch him fly away we would be watching him soar overhead. Still, I can't help but worry that the day he walks out that door, I (like Sis. Hinckley did when her first son left home) may have to lock myself in the bathroom

until I stop crying.

We finally got our garden in Saturday. We never quite get around to planting our spring crops on time and always seem to finally put them in the ground with the summer starts, so they will have a shorter season, but at least they are in. By the time we were done, I remembered why we always procrastinate this family "bonding" activity. It's because we all start out with that same excitement and anticipation for the symbolic start of a season and the eagerness of the youngest children turns a bit chaotic, as all little hands grab carrot or lettuce or radish seed packets, containing microscopic granules that must be guided and perfectly placed and suddenly they are donning trowels and hoes that end up being used in already planted soil, or start crying because they have to wait "forever" to help while you guide two other children's "helping" hands. Mikayla stuck with it, but Jordan had to keep running in and out between other appointments and Eden just wanted to dance with the hose, which ended up being her demise when she started literally testing the water on her big brother. We finally finished around 9PM, most of us dirty, one of us damp, one of us dripping, at least one uptight and all of us tired. Oh, but it will all be worth it when those shoots start poking out of the ground!

It's Freds' 42nd birthday today. I had to sneak out of the house at 5:30 and go grocery shopping this morning so I could feed him breakfast in bed. With all of the whirlwind that is Jordan, I forgot to prepare that little detail. I have a cake just coming out of the oven and I need to try to get this "Monday" house back to some resemblance of a home, and then the twins and I are off to finish birthday gift details in town before Fred makes it home for a late lunch. What adventure!

Mother's Day

Mikayla was asked to speak in Sacrament mtg. Sunday, on how she is preparing to become a mother. I think I had her a little intimidated about her assignment after I got done pleading with her not to get sucked into the awful tradition of monologuing about either how great your angel mother is (which there was no chance of here;-) or reading cutesy articles from the abundance that inundate the Internet at this time of year, or listing all of the expectations of a super mom. She did a fantastic job with uplifting quotes from prophets and conference talks and experiences with Personal Progress. The young man speaking with her gave a talk that was doctrinally based as well. I squirmed a little during the adult talks, which contained some of the above, but the youth always do such a marvelous job at setting an example.

We also attended Hyrum and Desi's ward to be a part of Katelyn's blessing (she was beautiful) and there wasn't a "Mother's Day" talk in the whole bunch, and yet they all were. They focused on time management and Facing our Homes toward the Temple and Covenants. It was so refreshing to sit through a Sacrament mtg. on Mothers Day that was still focused on the Savior. The mother's in Desi's ward received giant chocolate bars wrapped with ribbon after the mtg. The mother's in our ward received baby tomato starts in plastic pony packs torn apart (it was certainly the most humorous and practical gift I have ever received from a ward. The Sunday School presidency was in charge this year:-)

It was a perfect weather day here and I spent an hour sitting in a chair in the sandbox, running my feet through the cool grains, enjoying reading from Pres. Hinckley's biography while Fred made a strawberry cake, under the direction of Lily and Sophie. They were so proud of themselves for having the idea and being a part of it all! And I have the most beautiful hydrangea plant that I have ever seen sitting in the middle of my kitchen table. Unfortunately, I just got off of the phone with a Master Gardener from the extension agency who informed me that hydrangeas are not plants that can flourish in our zone, but are green housed as "Mother's Day" brief flash in the pan. I will plant it anyway and see how long I can keep it alive, and enjoy it's magnificence while it lasts. It is truly breathtaking!

One of Jordan's best friends stopped in for 3 minutes on Sunday to wish me a happy Mother's Day, which I thought was very sweet of him. I'm going to miss all of these kids that are striking out on their own over the next few months. It will be fun to follow them and see what they do with their lives.

Since Sunday was the "last average frost date" in our area, I spent the entirety of Monday transplanting mini starts into larger containers and mature starts into the ground. Then Fred came home and informed me that a cold front is supposed to come in and freeze everything tonight and then bolt back up into the 80's by the weekend. Grrrrrrrr! Luckily I never got to unpotting any of our May Day flowers, but everything else may take a hit. The buckets will have to come back out tonight.

A dear friend and YW leader, Sally Murry, was in our ward this weekend visiting her parents. Her vibrant personality never changes! It's comforting. You just can't help but love her, and she loves everyone back fiercely. Her mother said that she's so outgoing because she was in 4 different 1st grade classes in different states, which I thought was cute.

Jordan and 3 friends sang at the Opening Ceremonies for the new High School groundbreaking yesterday and will play his guitar and sing in the High School Talent Show on Wednesday and then be honored with all of the Seniors at Seminary Graduation on this upcoming Sunday. It's fun to have him in the spotlight these last few weeks home with us.

Mother's Day offerings and two crazy girls:


Sophie smelling tulips in our mini Aspen Grove:

And the House on the Sand Washed Away

Why am I ever disillusioned enough to think that in battle I can weary from the weight of the shield and not be immediately weakened. I'm disappointed with myself!

I sent out an e-mail inquiry a few days ago to all of my "sisters", wondering about a movie I had previously reviewed and decided not to bring into our home. That shows my first weakening (not that I would go to my sisters, but that I would try to gain alternate confirmation when I had already received guidance). A fun, young girl who cut Eden's hair last week, raved and raved about the movie and because it was rated PG, Eden asked about seeing it. It had been awhile since I had reviewed it and I couldn't remember what I had read, except that I had a bad taste in my mouth, so I went back and reviewed it again. My most trusted site, steered me away, but another family review site (that I know is more lenient) said it was fun family fare. In all honesty, I sometimes get tired of being so strict, and in weak moments, wonder if I am somehow depriving my family of enjoyments. It had been a week like that. I guess I was thinking that if I sent out a feeler to people that I love, who maybe aren't so prone to fanaticism, that I could somehow get balanced perspective on my decision. Renee and Camille answered quickly with their insight, which boiled down to the summation that neither of them felt I would appreciate this movie. We order movies through Netflix and I had put this particular movie in my queue (to send list) at number 4, while I was waiting for responses, so I logged in directly after reading these suggestions to delete it from the queue, but in the interim movies 2,and 3 on my list had been labeled "short wait" and they had completely skipped over movie number 1 and put this movie in my "being mailed today" box. I was incredulous, so I called the company and asked if they could please not send this movie, since it was sent out of order, but they said it was now in a pile with thousands of other movies, so they couldn't stop it. I told my family that is was coming and to just leave it in the mailbox, but that piqued curiosity and Jordan and Mikayla said they had seen parts of it and could probably edit it, and for some reason, a movie that I never would have ordered on purpose, all of the sudden became a temptation because it was new and it was there, and we watched it last night with remote in hand and in the end my trusted review site.... and Camille.... and Renee were all right; I didn't like it!

This afternoon, I checked my e-mail for letters from Mom and Dad and a message was waiting from Liz, who had just got back in town, and had responded to my movie inquiry late. Her simple, but adamant message to me was, "That's a big NO!" After the fact, it was like a huge slap in the face, and I felt immediate remorse that at almost 40, and with all the experience under my belt, I am still "giving in" to such obvious traps. Why can't I seem to act my age! There are so many characteristics that I need to work on that are truly a struggle and a challenge for me to even make baby steps at, but when I fail at something that is an easy choice it's so frustrating. It has been heartening to know that in times of need I have a supportive, caring, family network who will give me wise council and guidance, even if I am too blind to see. Thank-you for that reaffirmation. In my pride, I think I thought that I would be able to justify or rationalize watching something out of my initial comfort zone, because I expected to hear, from my sisters, that I was too prudish or fanatical or critical.... In the end I was too foolish to hear anything at all.

May Day Weekend

Keeping with tradition, we went flower shopping (Fred's idea ;-) for our date on May day and bought everyone in our family flowers (Fred and I got to choose our own)--then delivered them "knock and run" style when we got home.
Gerbera Daisies for Lily and Sophie



...For Abe and Jordan


...For Eden and Mikayla



Foxglove for me


African Daisies for Fred


Fred spring cleaning the berms


Eden salvaging a bouquet from the "wreckage"

Irony

We had another little glitch at the Middle School today. A frustrated mother called to let me know that the most offensive documentary in the 6th grade curriculum, which is about pirates, had been shown to her son without her knowledge or consent (the principle had promised us that the parents would be informed before any more documentaries were shown). Her son was so disturbed that the teacher became very concerned and called this mother (which is how she found out about the movie) to see if maybe there was something wrong at home. In this particular teachers defense, Eden says she is very caring and I'm sure her only motive in making the phone call was concern, but isn't it ironic that after exposing an innocent young man to darkness that the teacher would assume that his recoiling must be due to some disturbance in his family life. In truth, I guess it does stem from something that's going on at home; purity. I contacted administration again and we came up with stricter measures that I hope will resolve this more effectively, but I can't help but shake my head.

In Anticipation of Dates and Other Hiatus

I live for date night! Okay, that is overly dramatic, but it does give me motivation to keep trudging away at all of the weekday responsibilities that can fluctuate between monotony and frenzy and remind myself that only 6 more days... 5 more days...4 more days... remain until I can unwind with Fred, even for just a few hours and focus on "us". This weekend I had such a bad cold on Friday that I just couldn't bear leaving home. Saturday I had YW responsibilities from 9AM -4PM and I was hoping that we could fit in a cheater date in the evening, but by the time I completed some minor cleaning and fixed dinner and cut Fred and Abe's hair, it was time to take Mikayla to the Saturday night dance. Fred and I took her together and walked through the grocery store aisles for last minute groceries, but that doesn't really count, so we thought we could at least watch a video at home together. That used to work for date night when our children were little. It doesn't anymore!

I've been reading some old posts of a dear friend who said that she and her husband used to donate blood plasma in their poor college days, to save up enough money to go on a get-away date each year. I'm squeamish and am glad that we don't have to resort to that this year (though Fred did survive by doing that in his single years, he can no longer donate because he went on his mission to England and may be infected with Mad Cow Disease--we get a lot of mileage out of that), but those dates are worth sacrificing for. They not only make us better husbands and wives, but certainly better fathers and mothers. I think of it as an annual investment. This May will revolve around Jordan, so we will probably wait until June, after girls camp, but it is fun to be anticipating and planning.

Fred has been stressing and struggling to put together all the pieces for Stevens-Henagers' RT program this month. The guidance, top administration has given him for classes is about as helpful as the guidance they have given him to get the program up and running; "Here are a list of 160 main themes we want the students to learn in a two month period.... you may not have the time or resources to hire a teacher yet, so can you teach as well, oh, and the curriculum hasn't been written, so can you have that ready by Friday?" He's starting to feel like Stretch Armstrong. Amazing flexibility and oooh....the muscles!

The weather has become beastly again. Fred has been trying to take all kinds of precautions with his beloved peach tree, which we have had for three years and gotten one lonely peach out of due to Spring frosts. Two days ago, when it was supposed to freeze, he set his alarm for 5AM so he could put the sprinkler on it and inhibit the freezing process, but the water froze in the hose, so his attempt was futile. We're still crossing our fingers to see if it will pull through. Of course Fred couldn't wait to plant watermelon, no matter how much coaxing to wait until Mother's Day, so he is covering those with buckets every night. We were spoiled with 86 degree weather last week and were running through sprinklers and mowing lawns and we are now all very perturbed. The children's starts have taken complete possession of the kitchen table and are becoming restless in their cramped containers--we all are.

I have a treat for all the Jon Schmidt fans out there (Lori). He has a new arrangement out that is our family's new favorite song. He is so talented and funny. If he ever comes back to Boise, I will take all of my older kids for sure. Below is a link. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys

HAPPY SPRING!

We have been so negligent in keeping in touch with our friends. I was going to send out Christmas cards this year, but the first one I received in the beginning of December was so darling that I completely lost my motivation. So, I decided that I would send out New Years cards but the New Year came so quickly after Christmas that it seemed belated by the time I got serious, so I decided to make a family blog that I could send to friends on Valentines Day to let you know we are thinking of you and I got sidetracked in the middle of creating it, and somehow a friend found the page during construction, which re motivated me to start working on it so I am determined to welcome in Spring by reaching out again to friends that we love and miss. I hope this helps us keep in touch.

What the Bloomquists Are Up To

We have been lucky enough to keep in contact with some of you (usually your dedication), but because we haven't talked with many others in ages, we wanted to let you know what our family is up to.

Fred started a new career in November of last year and is now working at Stevens-Henegar trying to get the Respiratory Therapy college up and running. We are all enjoying the "normal" schedule that comes with non-medical hours. It has been such a welcome, positive change in our family life. We no longer have to go to church every other Sunday without him or attend family or ward activities unescorted. Date night has become regular and we actually eat meals together as an entire family (well, at least more often). Fred, Mikayla and I even exercise regularly every morning at 6AM (I never feel like that is a positive consequence when I roll out of bed, but we're all happy about it after we're done.) I don't know how we made it through almost 19 years without Fred's constant inclusion, but it has been a breath of fresh air.

We are all trying to gear up for Jordan to leave the nest. He graduates in May and two days later will head to Spokane to work for the summer. In the Fall he will attend BYU-I for two semesters and then turn in his paperwork for his mission. His absence is going to leave a large, empty hole here and I don't think any of us are ready for it, except him; he is ready to try his wings! We wanted to go on a big "last fling" vacation before he left, but this summer job has put a wrench in that.

Mikayla turns 16 in July and is trying to prepare to receive her drivers license before Jordan leaves, so that we won't lose that extra driver. Neither of us seems to be very comfortable with driving under stress, so she may not be ready by June, but I am, once again, back in the passenger seat.

Jordan, Eden and Abrahm are all in spring sports right now, so life has gotten busier, but with Fred home in the evenings, if feels like we still experience good quality family time, but we're all looking forward to summer break, warmer weather and longer days to be together. We have all turned a bit book-wormish this winter, but I can feel the yard faintly calling.

The twins are starting Kindergarten in the Fall and then I am looking into going back to school through BYU Independent Study. I guess Jordan and I will be studying simultaneously. Fred's company eventually wants him to get his Masters, so in a few years, we may all be in school. I'm actually excited.

We are loving living in Middleton. We fit so well in this tiny, close knit community. It's big enough to continually meet new people and have new experiences, but small enough to feel like family. We hope we never have to leave.

However this finds you, we would love to hear from you!

New Beginnings

Jordan was set apart as an Elder today. It seems that something happens almost weekly to remind me that he is perched to fly away. He asked Pres. Walker (the 2nd couselor in our stake presidency and the man who we "followed" to Middleton) to stand in, which was special as he was released from our stake presidency today to prepare to leave on a mission with his wife. They announced it at the Saturday session and I cried. He has a very special place in the hearts of every single member of my family. Our entire stake will feel the void as the "tornado of love", which he has been so appropriately nicknamed by the stake president, leaves us. We also just found out that our Bishop will be leaving next Monday to start a new job in Oklahoma, while his family stays and tries to sell their house. We are so sad for us; we are losing two men who have had a profound impact in our lives, but know that somewhere in the world the people will be blessed in abundant ways that they can't even imagine because of both of them.

What fun that Spring has emerged in all it's splendor this weekend. It was a garage cleaning, yard working, windows flung wide open kind of Saturday and it was wonderful! Mikayla spent an hour transplanting tiny seedlings whose roots had grown together and wondering about the spirits of plants when the wind broke one of the tiny sunflower stems. I don't think it's possible for her to think on a shallow level. She yearns for deep knowledge and learns from every experience. Watching her thoughtfulness and patience teaches me to be a better mother every day.

Camp money was due for all of the girls in the stake today, and our camp planning is gearing up. I can't believe that summer is so suddenly in the side wings. Mikayla will be a youth leader this year and will be in charge of the 1st year girls; she's so excited. First year's are so much fun--they are like baby ducks, imprinting and following you around and just soaking it all in. It will be a fantastic mentoring experience for her and also for those tiny girls who are trying to maneuver the transition from children to young women. It is also the year that Eden will get to participate in the "Faith Walk" and I'm looking forward to her reaction to that. I love girls camp; it's such a challenge to have that many hormones all together in an unfamiliar environment without some major eruptions, but the spiritual experiences are worth all of the "Interventions". I'm looking forward to it.

I had one of those "ah-hah" moments this last week, where a light goes on too late and you realize that you have missed out on neat experiences because of stubborn hardheartedness and you realize through disappointment in yourself that you have to change something so obvious that hasn't been obvious before. I was driving home from doing errands all afternoon and as I entered my subdivision it became obvious, from all of the "sharp looking" young adults roaming around with black backpacks that we were going to be canvased with salespeople. I don't like salesmen. I don't like them on the phone--I don't like them in stores--and I especially don't like them bothering me on my doorstep. I'm not a big "consumer" and I've always felt that if I want something I will go find it; if someone has to bring it to my attention I probably don't need it and if I do I will research it for a month before purchasing it not be pressured into something spontaneous. Jordan has a best friend who is a born salesman (he made ($15,000 last summer by only working a few hours each day) but I frustrate him. Jordan once gave him a challenge and told him, "if you can sell it to my mom, you can sell it to anyone!" I am kind to missionaries of other faiths, because I can relate, and I admire them for what they are trying to do, but I figure I am just wasting any other solicitor's time and they are wasting mine, so it is in the mutual good interest to get rid of them quickly. If they are persistent this often means being short and blunt. As blind as I am, I have never thought of it as being unkind or unfriendly or unchristian--I've never thought of it as being "personal, it's business". I am wary of "friendly" salesmen, I figure they are being insincere and have ulterior motives and I am the one, by my behavior, who is being honest. (Okay that was a very long segway) Well, on Wednesday, as I was driving to my house, I was desperately wishing that I had a "no soliciting" sign on my door. So, when a knock came on my door, I was annoyed and geared up to dismiss quickly whoever was on the other side. I opened it up to a smiling salesman and despite every persistent attempt he made, I finally convinced him to leave. I went back to my busy tasks, and didn't think another thing of it until I heard Fred drive up that evening while I was getting dinner on the table. I wondered out loud at why it took him so long to come inside and he told me he had been talking to a salesman in our front yard. I asked what he looked like and he described the same young man that I had shooed away four hours before and commented on how good natured and funny he was. His positive assessment and willingness to visit with an individual caught me off guard and made me feel instantly guilty, something I have never felt in a similar circumstance before. I asked him what they were talking about so long and he said the salesman was sharing an experience he had that day. That night my good friend reiterated to me the same story in much more detail. This salesman knocked on her door that afternoon and when she opened it he immediately asked if she was a Mormon. She acknowledged that she was and asked him how he knew that. He mentioned the picture of Christ which was on her wall facing him. Trying to make small talk, he said, "don't you have a Mormon bible or something?" She told him that Mormon's didn't have a different bible but we did have another book that was scripture that we read with the bible and she happened to have an extra copy if he would like one. He, still trying to make a sale, accepted the book and talked to her about people having to have an open mind about things (like the cleaner he was selling). She talked to him for a little while and kindly declined to buy anything and then he left. This same salesmen told Fred all about the nice lady who had offered him a Book of Mormon and he said to Fred, "and I'm going to read it too!" Who knows if he really will, but the important thing is that he had a personal experience with a very kind lady who was a member of the church and acted like a Christian and I missed out on an opportunity, which was so far out of my mind, that the story shocked me so hard into reality that I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since, and I will never be able to face another salesman with the same attitude again. I think some days, Heavenly Father must just shake his head in disappointment at my blind, intolerant behaviors. I do.

"Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it."

Easter Weekend

I am so grateful to my Mom and Dad for sharing their experiences of Easter week in the Philippines. The depictions of depravity has compelled me to ponder deeply the significance of this week like I never have before and make it a week of spirituality for my family as I have contemplated the blessings of the knowledge of the gospel and the true meaning and expectations of the atonement in my own life. It has been a beautiful week and an uplifting day.

Each night this week we tried to study the correlating day of Christs last week. It was a good way to imprint the true symbolism of this season into our hearts. After church today, we laid blankets out on the lawn and had a "New Testament" lunch with fish, bread, grapes, olives, figs and grape juice that we ate mostly out of baskets with our hands. We watched an edited version of "The Lamb of God", which doesn't carry the same spiritual impact but is still necessary for the four youngest of my children, and a short video called "Only a Stonecutter" about the story of John Rowe Moyle, a man who walked 22 miles to work on the Salt Lake Temple every week for 20 years, even after his leg had to be amputated (a very powerful and motivating lesson on consecration), and a short video the church put out on their website with a piece of Elder Holland's conference message. The weather was perfect and so symbolic of Springs Easter message. It has been a beautiful day!

Jordan went to Prom last night. (He said it was the best night of his life;-) Mikayla and Eden and I met one group of his friends over at another home and took pictures for an hour. It is so much fun to watch the exuberance and love for life these youth have. They are such good kids and I will miss them all profoundly when they head off to college and work and missions. Life and our house will be much too quiet.

Cousin's Egg Hunt at My Sisters:

Dillon (one of Jordan's best friends) arriving in his "sweet" (Corvette) car for Prom:

Jordan going to pick up his Prom date in his "sweet" (Geo) car:


Picture Time at Dillon's Home:

"Brothers" and Sisters:

Jordan and Zoey Being Silly:

Easter Morning:

All Dressed Up:

My Handsome Men:

Our "New Testament" Lunch:

Peace

I LOVE CONFERENCE!!! I'm always so sad when it is over., I do have to say that though it is such a blessing to be able to have the technology to experience conference in our home, it is a challenge every session to focus with all of the different distractions that seem to be inevitable in that setting--at least in our home. We have accessible seating for four in our playroom, which is where we watch conference, and since we have eight people that always causes some interference with people trying to hear and see and take notes, and not step on someone elses head (a problem that was causing Eden to rapidly lose the Spirit of the meeting on Saturday). There always seems to be some needed reminders to be reverent and listen, because such close proximity seems to encourage socializing and a bit of obnoxious behavior, which I'm sure more disciplined families don't deal with (I don't know where they inherited that from). It is also a challenge to help everyone stay alert and not revert to nap time, which is difficult when you have to lay on the floor to listen. However, even amidst the seeming turmoil, the Spirit always seems to permeate our home during the conference sessions, this time especially bringing peace at the end of an emotionally harried week, and make me want to try harder to consecrate my actions into discipleship and focus more fully on finding and creating joy.

Jordan asked a girl to Prom last weekend that he hasn't had the nerve to ever ask out during his whole high school years, and then this week got the opportunity to earn a free full tuxedo rental for that night by "modeling" a tux during a day at school and handing out advertisements. He wore black tails and a baby silver/blue vest and bow tie to school on Friday, with two of his friends. These boys seem to always know somebody who knows somebody where they can be creative and get a deal (this one being worth $75!).

Mikayla's gardening bug is starting to produce results. We have egg cartons all over the kitchen sprouting all sorts of different plants. It seems that no one wants to be left behind in this Spring thing. I have primroses blooming in my kitchen window, Jordan has snapdragons sprouting in a Dixie cup and Abe has a very large cabbage plant that is starting to take over my working space. It's a perfect reminder of this Easter week. I am excited to celebrate each day. I was reading yesterday a suggestion to celebrate coloring eggs and hunts and baskets and dresses each year the week previous to the Easter week as a celebration of Spring and then focusing solely on the spiritual messages during the Easter week. I wasn't prepared to do that this year, so we'll probably still do the "fluffy" stuff on Saturday, but I thought it was such a great idea. I'm going to talk about it in family council tonight and see what my family thinks. Lily and Sophie have such a hard time distinguishing the true meaning of Easter because of their anticipation of the "fun" that I thought getting that "Spring Fling" celebrated so much before would help them anticipate two separate celebrations.

I don't want to be prideful, but Olive has not escaped from our yard for 5 days now! It's quite a success for us. Fred built a new fence section last Saturday. She got out Monday because a wind storm had blown open the back gate and she got out on Tuesday (I have no idea how, sometimes I think she has her own guardian angels), but we have contained her since then. She stalks the back fence and barks and barks and I have guilt like crazy until I can take her out, but at least I know she's safe. We'll see how long it lasts.

"Tuxedo Modeling" day


Sophie's Electric Personality


Signs of Spring


A Spring Windowsill, A New Fence Piece, and A Captive Dog

Out of The Mouths of Babes

I was just looking at my sister in law's photography blog, with Lily and Sophie on my lap, and as I was scanning down the page we passed an lds.org link with a picture of the First Presidency, and Lily said, "Oh look, its Pres. Monson and Elder "Oofdork", and Sophie chimed in "And Elder "Ring" looks funny in those big glasses!". I guess we need to work a little harder on pronunciation and respectful comments, but it was fun to hear their excited recognition in anticipation of conference.