It has been one of those Survival-of-the-Fittest weeks and I'm not at all sure I am among the fittest! Somehow,we made it through, despite my limited emotional capacity, and am pleased to look at the calendar and see that it is much less colorful this week. I like happenings and activity, but when I am part of the planning I do have a limit and the effects of overdose are not flattering or healthy.--you know that only too well. =)
I enjoyed going to our first ever political caucus on Tuesday. The energy that night at the Idaho Center was fun! At a crowd of 4500, we only had half of the capacity of the Ada County crowd, but it was such a potent, hands on experience to see the political process in action. We only had to vote twice, (my parents county had to vote three times) but with the size of the crowd, we were still there from 6:00-11:00. It was a nice social atmosphere, even with groups in support of all 4 different candidates. We saw many from our stake and even ran into Aunt Linda and Uncle Bruce, so there were people to visit with, but next time I will bring a book. We didn't get an actual candidate at our forum--with all of the caucuses going on in the country they all sent surrogates, two of who seemed to be local supporters with sadly unimpressive speeches. One candidate sent a video that was nicely done, but Mitt Romney sent one of his sons, who was charismatic and lent an important, personal feel to the night. I haven't always felt decisively pro-Romney. I like things lined up neatly in rows. I like blacks and whites and he has been a complex political candidate from the beginning. Fair or not, I tend to be harder on public figures who are members of the church, but over time he seems to continuously emerge as a man of integrity and unique economic experience, one or both of which the other candidates seem to lack. It's a tricky business trying to find REAL information. The news is biased--talk radio offends me--so I end up searching it all out haphazardly on my own. Stumble, trip--stumble, trip. That about sums up politics and life for me.
Lily and Sophie were both sick this week with aggravated cold symptoms, and devastatingly ended up missing their school field trip. We took our own field trip (in our little white bus) to the Doctors office and ended up in the living room park for our picnic. The twins weren't quite convinced that they still weren't missing out, but we tried to make the most of it. It sounds awful, but having my little kids home sick makes my days so much more meaningful--it adds purpose that I miss, when they are at school. Even so, after 2 and 3 days out of school, I was so grateful that they both finally registered normal temperatures on their birthday and they were so relieved that I allowed them to return to school. Their teacher said if they hadn't come back that day, he was going to bring his whole class over on a walking field trip, which was a kind sentiment. Lily still has cotton balls in her ears and is fairly deaf, but at least neither of them are in pain anymore. We had a little school party, while I was in volunteering on Friday, then Fred and I took Lily and Sophie on their birthday date to Wahooz. They have a new bowling alley there, which felt so nice and clean and refreshing--at first--but they had music videos on HUGE screens at the ends of the lanes and some of the 80's video's were so inappropriate. By the time we left, the place was filling with families, but the atmosphere is inconsistent and often not family friendly. It's sad that entertainment anywhere seems to have dark influence invading from some corner. Luckily, our innocent little twins were intrigued with this novel game that they had never experienced, and were so excited that they were beating their parents,=( that they weren't paying as much attention to the screens as I was. Unfortunately, we were in such a huge hurry to move through there in order to get back for Eden's play that I didn't take the time to express my concerns to management, but I was offended enough that writing a thoughtful letter this morning is at the top of my to-do list.
Moral Dilemma #5,089 in my life: Where is the line between prude and pure? Really--I want to know! This week, Eden was involved in the musical Oklahoma at her high school. Of the cast over half were strong, dedicated LDS youth. So, here's my dilemma. Our family really enjoyed much of the show.The youth were incredible--such fun to watch--amazingly talented and so hilarious, at times, that I was truly in awe, but it has been a LONG time since I have seen an "Oklahoma" production and I was surprised by how dark some of the themes were and how much sexual innuendo was swirling around the script. Eden was a background character, so those parts didn't directly affect her scenes, but she was in the play, nonetheless, which is a definite support of the production. It was a deeply memorable experience for Eden and created some tight bonds and friendships which have meant so much to her. I've tried to give her opportunities in areas where she is talented and interested, but community theatre proved to be too much of a conflicting commitment for our family and enrolling in high school drama has seemed too chancy. When they announced the high school's first extracurricular Musical, we thought this would finally be Eden's chance, but I was disappointed that a different play wasn't chosen--something more pure. These kids and adults put in countless hours of volunteer time and dedication and provided the community with much to love. Of course they were "only playing parts" which were in no way indicative of who they really are, but shouldn't they be? Questions, questions! Where is the line? I wonder if there are other's, like me, who are confused and frustrated, but like me, are tired of causing a fuss. The energy in the community, among my friends and peers makes me feel that I'm alone in my confusion and when you are constantly alone, you start wondering about yourself--A LOT! It all makes my head feel murky and muddled. I don't like grey areas. I want things clear-cut. Right! Wrong! Always! Forever! The one thing I do know is that when I saw "Jud" on Sunday, standing up at the sacrament table in his white shirt, light shining from his eyes, that was right, and I was happy.
My sister throws some great kid parties--every year--for every child. I always tell her she's crazy but I'm sure her children adore her for it and we think all think she's amazing . Planning a first ever friends party for the twins, after our packed weekend, made me think I was insane. Preparations made me almost neurotic--even just figuring out who to invite was tricky--and I even made some mess-up omissions there, (I'm an overanxious anticipator) but once the party was started we had lots of fun and I learned some incredibly important lessons. It is little moments like these that help me to see clearly my weaknesses and the incredibly generous and loving natures of other people on behalf of my children and our family. Some people are so thoughtful and selfless--truly--in such different ways. Before the party started, one of Lily and Sophie's friends was dropped off a little early so her Dad could make it to a meeting with his son. He covertly asked for a butter knife because his daughter had made all these beautiful hair ribbons by hand and on the way over had discovered that one of them had been glued shut. It was sweet to watch him in our kitchen "making things all better" and then before he left, he got down on Lily and Sophie's level, expressed his sincere appreciation to them for inviting his daughter, and hugged and kissed them both (very Pres. Walkerish--like father, like son). He made them feel so incredibly special. My sister, knowing that the twins had been wanting roller blades and that they weren't getting them because we had bought them scriptures this year, bought them each a beautiful pair. A pair to share would have been generous, but two pairs was truly benevolent. That made me feel incredibly special and completely inadequate. I called her and told her I didn't know if I should strangle her or fall at her feet in humble adoration. Of course she tried to dilute the whole thing and give Annalie and then Chris credit for the generosity. The truth is, they are just a generous family. There were so many other kind things that day--my brother offered all of the cousins rides to and from the party, which took a burden off all of their parents and made it possible for them all to be here. A sister-in-law called with a sincere desire to present a personalized, thoughtful gift--which she did, and another sister was so kind about my blunderings to invite the appropriate children in her family.The girls were all good to each other and made the morning enjoyable.The one thing I do regret is that when I looked around I realized my house was full of only LDS girls. It wasn't intentional, but it emphasized my tight knit circle. I struggle with how to expand that. Invitations to classmate parties come in constantly. I don't feel safe letting my children go to a strangers house, (LDS or not LDS) no matter how much I like the children. Twice I have caved--once with Mikayla in Mccall, and once with the twins here, but only with me in attendance. That usually makes the hostess nervous and both times, adults were drinking. I'm sure there are hundreds of families who live in good environments, but you can't just guess and if you plan a meeting and then you feel uncomfortable it makes things even more awkward. And since I feel that way, it seems hypocritical to invite those children to my girls party. Another dilemma in my enormous pile. I'm not a lover of most things attributed to ancient Greece, but what trouble the phrase "Know thyself" consistently causes me!
Quote of the week: "Earth's crammed with heaven... But only he who sees, takes off his shoes."--Elizabeth Barrett Browning
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