Sunday, January 15, 2012

"There I Plant My Foot"

I was at the church this morning for a meeting that I thought I had (which I didn't) but I ran into our stake YW president (who I used to serve with) and she shared a sweet experience with me. She was driving past the Middleton sign which Jordan designed and built for his Eagle Scout project and in her mind's eye she saw him there working on the sign. Of course that brought tears; that sign is Jordan to me. Another sweet friend was standing nearby and quite a few people were in the foyer so I was feeling a little self conscious (though I should be used to that by now) but I wondered out loud if I would ever get to the point where I can hear the names of my children who are away from home, without bursting into tears and both of these sweet sisters immediately responded, "You won't!" It wasn't extremely encouraging, but I felt like I was in exceptionally good company.=) How I love my dear friends and my children!!! Today while I was writing Jordan's missionary letter Mikayla got online and chatted with me (it doesn't get much better than that for a Mom!=)

Enough blubbering, ready for some FUN news. One of Mikayla's close friends and the son of one of mine got his mission call this week to Antafagosto, Chile! My friend called right after her family read it to her son (he is in Virginia in the military right now) because she was so excited. She said he cried. I told her Jordan did too. What a neat memory. I am so excited for him. Though not close, Jordan is in the same country but I have a nephew who recently returned from the same mission and is now married and expecting a little baby which will  make me a "Great" Aunt.  Exciting times! 

My dear cousin (who I roomed with for a semester at college) over 20 years ago  called me this week from the BYU campus where she has just re-enrolled and was walking to class thinking about our good ol' days. I am SOOO excited for her and proud of her for taking that opportunity while she is living in Provo, but I won't lie--I wanted so bad to be there with her. It made me all weepy. Jeffrey R. Holland said, "God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as he always has. But he can't if you don't pray, and he can't if you don't dream. In short, he can't if you don't believe." I'm still working on all of that. One day.

I bought my girls the new Jane Eyre movie for Christmas and decided to read the book again before watching it... again... (for the fourth time). I haven't read it since high school, but It's been awhile since a book has dug it's claws into me this deep. Reading is a reward for me--something I do EVERY night in bed or while I eat lunch or after finishing a task that needs ulterior motivation. The other day I woke up in the morning and read for hours instead of doing any of my responsibilities--without even "earning" it! I couldn't help it. =) It's hard to say if I am loving it so much because I am so drawn to the movies or if I was drawn to the movies because I enjoyed the book, but at this point they are so intertwined that it is hard for me to judge them independently. Call me a romantic, but I just really, REALLY like the story. Of all the literary heroine's that I aspire to become like, Jane is definitely near the top of the list. There are two lengthy quotes from my reading this week that are so emboldening and inspiring that I have been almost giddy with their power and eloquence.

"...Reason sits firm and holds the reins, and she will not let the feelings burst away and hurry her to wild chasms. The passions may rage furiously, like true heathens, as they are; and the desires may imagine all sorts of vain things; but judgement shall still have the last word in every argument, and the casting vote in every decision. Strong wind, earthquakeshock and fire may pass by, but I shall follow the guiding of that still small voice which interprets the dictates of conscience." (Jane Eyre--Chapter 19) 

"Who in the world cares for you? or will be injured by what you do?" "I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself. I will keep the law given by God; sanctioned by man. I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad--as I am now. Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptations: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth--so I have always believed; and if I cannot believe it now, it is because I am insane--quite insane: with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I count its throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to stand by: there I plant my foot." (Jane Eyre--chapter27)

Some meat to sink teeth into this week! Rudyard Kipling said, "Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." Aaah--so true!

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